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Super (Mom) Heroines in the Making?

Friday, August 8, 2008
filed under: fun & games   tv & movies & books & music  
Which celeb mom would best play Wonder Woman, Batwoman, She-Ra? 

Last week, MTV UK reported that Johnny Depp, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are rumored to be in talks to play The Riddler and The Penguin in the next Batman movie. It got us talking about all the female superhero movies that should be made and which mom would be best to star. Here's your chance to play casting agent for your favorite super heroine!

Spider Woman
  • Superhuman strength, speed, stamina, agility, reflexes, senses, and durability
  • Ability to adhere to walls through bio-electric attraction
  • Immunity to all poisons and radiations
 A. High-profile mama Jennifer Lopez has spun many a man into her web--not to mention the many hats she spins as a mom, entrepreneur, actress, producer, singer, dancer and designer.

Jennifer Lopez
B. Supermodel mom Heidi Klum has strength, stamina, and supermom durability--being a mom, designer, host, model, artist, judge, and producer.

Heidi Klum
 
Catwoman
  • Peak athlete
  • Extremely skilled hand-to-hand combatant.
  • Expert burglar with razor-sharp retractable claws
  • Wields an assortment of bullwhips and cat o' nine tails as gymnastic equipment
 A. Denise Richards never has her claws retracted when she is dealing with her ex Charlie Sheen, but always seems to land on her feet.

Denise Richards
B. Heather Mills sharpens her claws on ex Paul McCartney every chance she gets. But does her charitable nature make her less of a villain?

Heather Mills
 
Batwoman
  • Trained martial artist
  • Contents of her utility purse were actually weapons disguised as stereotypical feminine products, such as lipstick, cosmetic compacts, charm bracelets and hair nets
  • Orginally invented to cancel rumors of Batman and Robin having a homosexual relationship
  • Became a lesbian in 2006 to increase her public appeal
 A. Anne Heche is one of Hollywood's most notable (former?) lesbian moms. Can she handle trouble like she does her ex-husband?

Anne Heche
B. Rosie O'Donnell is also a famous lesbian mom, which is important for any Batwoman candidate. But can you (and by 'can you', we mean 'would you ever want to?) see her whipping out weaponized charm bracelets and hair nets from her purse?

Rosie O'Donnell
 
Wonder Woman
  • Super strength, speed, reflexes, stamina, durability, and hearing
  • Superior hand-to-hand and weapon combat skills
  • Regeneration
  • Immunity to illusions and mind control
 A. Jennifer Garner seems to have it all: the great looking hubby, the cute kid, and an awesome career. Her body bounced right back after having her baby--does that count as regeneration?

B. Jessica Alba speedily married her leading man after getting pregnant. But does she have the stamina to juggle career and motherhood?

 
She-Ra
  • Superhuman strength
  • Highly resistant to damage
  • Healing touch
  • Speaks with animals telepathically
 A. New mom Angelina Jolie is rumored to have had something to do with Brad Pitt's split from Jennifer Aniston--but was still able to come out on top and be one of Hollywood's favorite celebs. And, she has her way with kids, but can she speak with animals telepathically?
B. Mom of three Julia Roberts is also "the other woman," but the damaging gossip seems to have been forgotten--and she is still one of America's sweethearts. But does she have the healing touch?

 
Evil-Lyn
  • Various spell casting
  • Use of dark magic
 A. Janice Dickinson may be evil enough to call you "ugly" on national television, but if she was really capable of magic, wouldn't she have the ability to shut the hell up?
B. Dina Lohan is seen by some as being an evil mom who exploits her kids. But, is her dark magic making her a millionaire?

 
Bionic Woman
  • After a skydiving incident, she had surgical implantation
  • Amplified hearing
  • Great right-arm strength
  • Enhanced legs, can run faster than a speeding car
 A. New reality mom Pamela Anderson might actually be bionic with all her plastic surgery. But can she really run fast being that top heavy? 
B. Mom of three and wife to soccer stud David Beckham, Victoria Beckham hasn't cracked a smile in...we aren't sure how long. But can she hear her kids over the buzz of the pushy paparazzi?
 
Mrs. Incredible
  • Superhuman elasticity
  • Superhuman plasticity
  • Frequently worries for her family's safety
A. Reese Witherspoon is a mom who is all heart and will go to great lengths to protect and love her two kids. Can she pull off plastic?

B. Kelly Ripa is totally devoted to her man and her kids. But is she flexible enough?
 
superheroine_gallery.jpg
Superhero Dads

1 comment so far

Add a Text Comment
Deana on August 9, 2008 3:46 AM wrote:

CAST THIS: Who really cares which super model or actress is the best mom or hero out there, don’t they get enough credit for just breathing. Give some credit to the moms out there that no one will ever know about. I could take all those heros on and I know countless amounts of teacher moms and lawyer moms and supermarket moms and the least appreciated stay at home moms and single moms who could be and are all those super heros better yet, they deserve their own title and face. Lets have something on who can put a name and face on the new super hero who is JUST A MOM. We deserve that. Thanks for listening and have a nice day!
 

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