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Can Cheating Save Your Marriage?

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Absolutely, says the founder of an online service which helps people commit adultery.

These days you can get anything online. Pizza, movies, and clothing. And now you can have an affair by joining an online service called Ashley Madison, which attracts 150,000 users per day.

Here's how it works: Anyone can log onto the site and for $49, users create a private profile to send emails, chat, and wink--much like a mainstream dating service. The only difference is that the so-called daters are all married. Because, according to the owners, cheating is "a serious and emotional decision" there is no annual fee, and users can come and go as they please. When the credit card arrives, Ashley Madison is labeled as an innocuous charge.Says one momlogic staffer:"I signed up to see if guys would really respond--and queries from married men were flooding my inbox within 30 minutes. And they didn't stop coming--every 20 minutes, another would pop up."

Here are some--real--solicitations from married men:

•"To be honest, I am not looking to leave my wife but I do miss having a sexual connection in my life. My wife completely lost her sex drive since birth of our child. I love to please woman and I'm very generous in bed. Plus I'll always respect your boundaries."


•"I love to have sex but my wife and I don't do it nearly enough. I'm looking for someone who can meet up once or twice a week. We don't always have to go to a hotel, we can just enjoy each others' company...I'm a very social guy, and I love meeting new people. I've got a strong sexual appetite, and I typically will go for an hour or more. Not trying to brag, but I really do like to savor the experience. Sex is always best when you're keeping it interesting and I consider myself very adventurous in the bedroom. If all this sounds interesting to you, let's get to know each other!"

•"I'm your typical executive who is looking for something more. I value trust, honesty and above all discretion. I am hoping to find a married women who has no desire to leave their husband but just wants to add some fun to their life. I love an intelligent and optioned women...If you are interested in having an open, trusting and ongoing affair then please feel free to write me. Thanks for your time."

We spoke to Noel Biderman, a 37-year-old married father of two and Chief Operating Officer of Ashley Madison on the state of marriage today and why he created such a controversial service... Go to page 2.

next: Unlikely Celeb Parents
25 comments so far | Post a comment now
Cerrah W. August 28, 2008, 4:48 PM

So…why did any of these guys get married anyway? They should’ve just stayed single!

Anonymous August 28, 2008, 5:19 PM

this dude is what is wrong with marriage.

Megan M. August 28, 2008, 10:57 PM

I agree with the other comments. This is what I DON’T understand….How is cheating HELPING a marriage. People get divorced over cheating. For those of you who don’t know that term, DIVORCE = MARRIAGE ENDING. And why would anyone want to cheat. I’m sorry but if you’re already THINKING about someone else and following through with it, you’re marriage is over emotionally.

Tracy August 29, 2008, 7:46 AM

I just love the one guy that says he values trust and honesty….Sounds like and STD waiting to happen. I’m sorry but nothing about this service would help a marriage, if anything it’s going to destroy many. It’s sad that there is a service of this kind, even sader that people are actually paying to use it.

Suzanne August 29, 2008, 8:02 AM

Hello , what don’t people see look at the world? The pres., Beautiful people like Chisty brinkley’s husband, there is a problem, salt peter daily and viagra when it’s need, Look at the ones in prison for sexual issues,is it men or women? It’s a bad curse to be a man, if that’s what we call them.

Kandi August 29, 2008, 8:42 AM

Are you kidding me! This guy is a POS, This is what is wrong with Marriage now. Do people not understand the words you said when you got married. Why even get married if you want to be with someone else. I hope all the people on this site get caught and your spouse takes you for everything you have man or woman.

jasmine August 29, 2008, 10:08 AM

Everyone who is on this site should be ashamed of what there doing. Do not get married if u feel the need to cheat. This site will distroy a whole lot of marriages so if u think cheating helps your absolutely incorrect!

KP August 29, 2008, 6:08 PM

These people should put all the effort they are putting into trying to find a piece of a** into FIXING there marrage!

M.L. August 31, 2008, 1:04 AM

I can’t believe that he actually thinks that it’s okay to cheat. I take my marriage vows very seriously! My husband is the first guy that never cheated on me. That is why I didn’t get married until I was 32.

Noelle August 31, 2008, 6:38 AM

How could cheating possibly help a marriage? The only reason it would help anything is to keep the person committing adultry to have to pay child support and/or alimony. They basically want to have their cake and eat it to… they don’t want their partner with another person, but expect to be able to cheat? These type of sites lend a hand to the high rate of divorce.

A person cheats because something is missing… so here’s a novel idea, how about you talk to your partner about how you feel. Communication… what a concept.

tj September 5, 2008, 9:52 PM

hey i found my wife on Ashley Madison. She was also on a lot of other sites to. Our divorce case is due in October. This site didnt save mine but i guess she got what she was looking for hope it lasts . Can two cheaters really trust one another?

Anonymous September 14, 2008, 8:12 AM

Are you serious? This is so what marriage is NOT about. I don’t have that much sex drive either; just the day to day busy mom life. I do NOT feel sexy after cooking, cleaning and fussing all day with kids! Maybe all these guys need to do is to notice their wives. Talk and do a little more “coaxing” & they will get what they need from their wives. This is a RIDICULOUS and dangerous site.

catch them September 30, 2008, 10:17 PM

While I have a problem with sites such as Ashley Madison existing in the first place, I am happy they are getting more popular for one simple reason.

The more people that use this service, the easier it gets to catch them cheating! Instead of hunting through adult friend finder profiles, you can go to ashley madison, sign up and catch them cheating!!

wow October 14, 2008, 12:33 PM

my favorite is the guy whose profile says he values trust and honesty…WTF?!

Julio October 14, 2008, 3:10 PM

I’ve been on both sides of this issue & for the most part, cheating destroys marriages. However, some marriages stay strong because one or both get the satisfaction outside the marriage that the other can’t provide. You’ve gotta be willing to suffer the consequences, but remember ladies it’s not just men cheating. They’ve gotta be doing it with someone, so you’re as much to blame.

heather October 20, 2008, 12:12 PM

this is the stupidest thing i have ever seen! are you people crazy?

Nancy October 24, 2008, 11:39 AM

I was a baby sitter for a couple that needed time together and one day, the husband came home early and after being home a little while, he started coming on to me. He said he belonged to several websites and mentioned Ashley Madison. He was good looking and he sat on the couch next to me. He said I was better looking and younger then his wife. He started to kiss me and then slid his hand under my blouse and caressed my t*its and n*ipples. He then slid his hand down, between my legs and rubbed my cl*it until I cl*imaxed. He then carried me to the bedroom, undressed me, took off all his clothes, spread my legs and went down on me until I came again. He then slid himself inside me and ph*ucked me until I came a third time. S*ex with him was the best and we still see each other twice a week for the best s*ex ever. He said he is bored with his wife but likes the fact that she stays home, keeps the place clean and cooks for him. People get bored of their mates and want some excitement with other people. He said, men start to look at other women and think, what does that woman look like n*aked? How might that woman be in bed? He said it is nice to have someone for you at home but have extra excitement outside the marriage. He said all men want to have s*ex with as many women as possible. He said s*ex with other women, especially if they are married, is such a turn on.

phil February 17, 2009, 12:21 PM

FAKE! Nice try Nancy but what happen in this story of yours was RAPE! The only basis for a happy, healthy and long lasting marriage is absolute fidelity. History on this reality has remained constant for as long marriages have been documented. Now quit dispensing useless advice go back to writing porn!

ford June 19, 2009, 6:35 PM

Hi.I am a hacker.I can get you a myspace, facebook, hi5,gmail,yahoo,msn/hotmail,aim/aol…etc password. I do charge money to get a password. Will show proof that I have password. Are you interested? Please email me at


ford February 27, 2010, 2:45 AM

Hi. I am a hacker. I can get you a myspace, facebook,yahoo,msn/hotmail, gmail, aol…etc password. I do charge money though,but will show proof i have it. Are you interested? please email me at


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