Playmates Double As Family Nanny?

Playmates Double As Family Nanny?

Friday, August 29, 2008

filed under: paul starke

Guest blogger Paul Starke: We're having nanny troubles. As my wife and I both headed back to work after the birth of our son, we decided we wanted one-on-one care for Luke at home. Let's just say things didn't work out with our first choice. So now, as we're scrambling to find someone to take care of our baby, I present to you: "THE 12 PEOPLE I WISH COULD BE OUR NANNY."

1) Angela Lansbury: Not the Angela from "Murder She Wrote" (too dangerous), but the Angela from "Bedknobs and Broomsticks," who could make furniture fly.

2) Michael Keaton: Who better to help raise our boy than "Mr. Mom" himself?

3) Grimace: Yes, he's a fictional character who lives in McDonaldland, and yes, he's a big pile of purple goo, but he (it?) seems very loving and nurturing.

4) The guy from the 'freecreditreport.com' ads: I figure if he's working for us, he won't be able to make any more annoyingly catchy jingles.

5) Governor Sarah Palin: I just put this in to show how topical I can be.

6) "The Girls Next Door" (Hugh Hefner's girlfriends): My wife wonders why this is on the list. Three nannies for the price of one? Playdates with Playmates!

7) The Jonas Brothers: My wife made me put them on the list to balance out #6. She loves those Jonas Brothers and their tight slacks. Whatever...

8) Chef Boyardee: I've heard from a lot of parents that homemade meals are good, once the baby can eat solid foods. I know that I was practically raised on Beef-a-Roni, and I turned out OK (not really).

9) Mr. Belding: He ran a tight ship when he was the Principal on "Saved by the Bell." A fine man, a fine educator, a friend of Screech.

10) Gandhi: Tell me you wouldn't want an icon of love, peace and tolerance taking your baby to music class?

11) Alex Rodriguez: Yes, I want my son to be able to hit a curveball. No, we won't be able to pay him $30 million a year. He can eat whatever he wants in the fridge, though...

12) Me: Because it breaks my heart a bit every day when I say goodbye to my son.

Paul Starke is an Emmy-winning TV Producer, and a co-writer of the #1 New York Times Bestseller, An Inconvenient Book.

5 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

This is great!!!! So funny!!! Good luck on finding a nanny.

- M.L.

Posted 08/30/08 12:16 AM

Don’t forget about Nell from ‘Gimme a Break!’.

- Shannon

Posted 08/30/08 10:25 PM

sorry but i think the guy u mentioned in #4 is in an actual band… and whats worse i think they sing silly songs for kids. I believe i saw them on good morning america last week singing about whats in the fridge.. lol But that was cute and the last one made up for #6 for me! :)

- alisha

Posted 09/02/08 04:35 PM

Too funny! (#12 stopped me in my tracks— what’s better than a dad who’s hilarious yet has his heart in the right place??) In all seriousness, have you tried any online sitter sites? Finding good childcare is time consuming and a serious headache— been there, done that. Check out Care.com; I’ve had great luck there (great site— great sitters, easy to use). They’re probably still running a promotion where you can get a discount on joining if you use the code CLUBMOM. Good luck, and thanks for the chuckles!! :)

- Margot

Posted 09/02/08 10:11 PM

Very funny and the last one is really cute!

- Emma

Posted 09/05/08 10:52 PM