Guest blogger Dani Klein Modisett: Does one mom's success mean another mom's failure? It sure seems that way.
When I was a kid I used to sing in nightclubs. Really. One of my favorite songs to sing was "Maybe This Time" from Cabaret. At 15, I would convincingly belt out the lyrics, "Everybody loves a winner, so nobody loved me..." And like the song says, I always assumed that success would bring lots of friends, however false. So you can imagine my surprise when recently, having gotten some acknowledgment in my career, I noticed several mom friends jumping ship on me.
I ran into a woman at the market I've known since before we had kids, named Angelina.
"No. It's just...you left that message and I didn't want to talk to you. All I am is a mom and you getting all this success makes me feel like being a mom isn't good enough."
"Really?" I said, surprised by this reaction, but glad she was honest. I took her lead.
"Must be tough being that jealous, it kind of limits your friendships."
Like this one, I thought. SEE YA!
Have I've stumbled upon a new breed of friend? "The Foul-Weather Friend?"
I'm sure if I called any of these women crying about my husband cheating on me, or whining about feeling enslaved by a joint checking account, or distraught over my son's refusal to eat anything green, they would "totally be there for me." But apparently finding a modicum of success outside the home is too threatening for some. No wonder there's such mudslinging between working moms and stay-at-home moms. Getting too close to the group you're not in makes you feel bad about yourself. Clearly, I'm going to have to cut things off with Angelina; it's really been bringing me down lately.