Mom Is a Coward

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

filed under: kid logic

Guest Blogger Jana Matthews: "You are the worst *%$# mother in the world!" read one of the more civilized responses to a recent ad that I posted on Craigslist.

I was selling some cardboard blocks that my three preschoolers preferred to throw at each other rather than play with, and mentioned in the item description that the proceeds from the sale would go towards a fancy dinner out with my husband...sans children. Evidently, my actions constituted child abuse and neglect because I got an earful from several dozen angry readers. Here are a few...

"I am so very sad for your children. You sould like a child who has never grown up yourself. Why did you have kids if you didn't want to be around childish behaviour? They will outgrow it soon enough. Do you want your children to grow up and remember this about you--that you took their toys all away from them? Please learn some parenting skills and for heaven's sake, let your children be children!!"

"I think you may want to seek help...The saying goes, 'If you don't have control over your children by the time they are 3 you might as well forget it.'"

"WTF???!!!! You is crazy. What you doin throwin your business around like that? No one is going to want to come pick up stuff from a crazy person like you!"

When I read the above comment, I was upset and angry, not because of what the person said, but because he/she said it anonymously. Anonymity is an important and valuable part of Internet discussion groups and forums because it enables individuals to ask questions and share experiences that would be difficult or impossible to articulate if they had their names and faces attached to them. This same shield of privacy, however, also enables people to say things online to others that they would never have the guts to say in person. One can write nasty comments on a web forum, for example, without impunity; you don't have to take responsibility for your words because no one knows who you are.

I am a firm believer in the First Amendment (the right to free speech) but with this right comes the responsibility to own your words. In short, if you are going to "dish it," you need to be prepared to "take it" as well. Hiding behind a cryptic screen name or posting rude comments anonymously is not only immature, it is also cowardly. So, if you've got something ugly to say to me or anyone else online, bring it on! Just don't forget to sign your name and leave a number where you can be reached.

Jana Mathews is the mother of three preschoolers and author of The Meanest Mom blog.

3 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

The person who sent you that comment either doesn’t have kids or grew up without any toys and now spoils his/her children rotten. Personally, if I saw your ad on I would’ve laughed… been there done that.

- Dinner? I'm in!

Posted 08/12/08 02:12 PM

So here I am always feeling stupid because I usually use my real name and I comment whenever I feel compelled to, often I get called mean names from other commenter when I say something I know or feel. I get sad really but feel it would be rude to name call back so I just don’t reply. I thought I was alone. People are crazy and don’t have a sense of humor. I think it’s funny (your ad), but I hear that I am the meanest mom. Jeez, you should hear them (my kids), you’d think I was trying to stab them in the eye when all I want is for them to walk the dog with me or go for a bike ride.

- cara (c-tas)

Posted 08/12/08 10:15 PM

LOL, i would have laughed so hard if i saw that on craigslist!!!!! no matter how much you love your children, you need sometime without them with your husband!! you’re not a bad mom. the people who wrote those comments are probably jealous that they don’t get to go out without their kids. every mom i know looks forward to that time. even if it’s going to the store! my husband and i make a deal before we go on a “date” night. NO TALKING ABOUT THE KIDS! that time is special to us because it is few and far between!

- Linny1

Posted 08/13/08 10:53 AM