twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Does Divorce Scar Kids for Life? 3

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This
Still married, but worried your marriage is in trouble? Shannon Fox offers five signs your marriage might be headed for divorce:

1. He cheated on you. Sexual infidelity is the most common meaning of the word "cheating," but it can take other, equally harmful forms. Most women say emotional infidelity (a husband falling in love with another woman, but never having a physical relationship with her) is as bad as sexual infidelity--maybe worse. Both break the bonds of trust and forever damage the foundation of a marriage. If he is a serial cheater, you'd be a fool to trust him. Can you live with that?

2. He hits you or your children. Abuse is a tough cycle to break. I worked with victims of domestic violence for years and found that women left their abuser and returned to him an average of 7 times before a finally leaving for good (or until he killed her). If you don't value yourself enough to get away, you owe it to your children to make sure they grow up feeling safe.

3. He lies about money. The fashionable term is financial infidelity. It erodes trust in a marriage just like the other forms of cheating. If he has secret accounts, spends without telling you, or hides financial information from you, your marriage is in trouble. A marriage is a partnership and even a CFO is accountable to the Board.

4. You can't remember the last time you had sex. Sex is the barometerof a marriage. If you haven't been connecting intimately in the bedroom, there are unresolved issues outside the bedroom. It is not impossible to fix your sex life, but if you let it go without addressing it, don't be surprised if you find yourself in divorce court.

5. You fight like cats and dogs and never seem to resolve anything.
John Gottman, a well-known researcher, found that a major predictor of divorce was not how much people fought, but how they fought. If there was a high level of contempt for the spouse, as evidenced by put-downs and hitting below the belt, the couples were invariably headed for divorce.

If you're divorced, how did your kids react to the split?


Back to top >>