One doctor says he can predict the outcome of a marriage based on the age of the couple.
A recent article written by martial therapist Dr. Andrew G. Marshall has gotten wives talking. In the story published in Saturday's Times of London, Dr. Marshall attests that women who marry in their 20s have a higher marital success rate than those who get hitched in their 30s. Why? For starters, he claims older women carry more baggage from previous relationships and in turn, blame their husbands for unresolved issues. Second, the more relationship experience a woman has, the higher her expectations, which can put pressure on having a "perfect" marriage. And finally, he says older women often want to get pregnant quickly, and the demands of parenthood too early can strain a new marriage. On the flipside, those who marry in their 20s start off with lower expectations, and "grow up together," making each other more tolerant of each other's faults.
Some ML staffers wed in their 20s and while others waited until their 30s. Here's our response to Dr. Marshall:
|"I married when I was 26 and my husband was 33, but I didn't feel pressure to have kids right away. However, I think the longer you wait to get married, the higher your expectations may be. You might think, 'I've waited this long, I'm not going to settle now!' That said, I married the right guy when he came along. Overall, it matters less when you meet, as long as you're with the right person.'" -- Julie, mom of 2
|"I got married when I was 26 and in the past eight years we have grown together and figured out life as a team. We still don't have children, but we've traveled all over the world, moved to different states, and had the ability to take more exciting chances together. We're supportive of each other and communicate much better than I imagine we would have if we wed in our 30s." -- Jennifer|
|"If I'd married any of the guys I was 'madly in love with' in my 20s, I'd be divorced by now! I wed in my late 30s after being with my boyfriend for ten years. If I had married him a decade prior, I'd be divorced now -- we were both too young and immature for the responsibilities of marriage. However, everyone is different and what works for some might not work for others." -- Melissa, mom of 1
|"I married my husband in my 20s and we are approaching 20 years of marriage -- I think that would be defined as success. And yet I've certainly wondered what it would have been like had I acquired more relationship experience before marrying my husband...." -- Jill, mom of 2|
|"I got married when I was 32. On the one hand, I got to sow my wild oats before settling down, but I also think it had a negative effect: Exposing myself to different types of men made me aware of how great guys can be in many different ways. As a result, I'm a little hard on my husband because I expect him to have every wonderful trait I've ever come across in a man!" Annie, mom of 1|