How moms can make sure their teens stay safe.

UPDATE: The mentally disabled 16-year-old twins in Malibu, California who've been missing since Sunday have been found near the campus of the University of Southern California. A 23-year-old suspect is in custody on related charges, according to police. One of the girls returned with a tattoo of the suspect's name on her chest.

Their mother--who adopted them along with 14 other children--feared the girls, who have the mental capacity of 12-year-olds and still play with dolls, may have met someone online. Since they went missing, mom Kay Carrodi was disturbed to discover multiple MySpace and Facebook profiles that say the girls are 18 and that they like to drink and party.

It's a mother's worst nightmare. Just the thought of our girls out there alone, meeting guys who are pedophiles, rapists, even murderers, is enough to keep us up at night. But, although we tell our teens and tweens not to meet strangers, sometimes it feels like the message is just not getting through.

Momlogic called psychologist Dr. Lisa Boesky, author of When to Worry: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Help--and What to Do About It, for her advice on warning teens against meeting strangers online:

• Don't tell her not to meet strangers -- she'll only tune you out.
"Telling your teen to avoid strangers on the Internet doesn't work," she says. "The Internet creates a false sense of intimacy. If your daughter has been talking to someone online, she probably feels like she knows him. He's not going to be one of those people who would hurt her. No way. The only problem is that sometimes, many times, she's wrong."

• Instead, talk to her about how fake the Internet can be.
"You need to talk to your teen about the false sense of intimacy that develops online and how fake it can be, as well as the dangers that can happen," Dr. Lisa advises.

• Figure our WHY she's meeting strangers on MySpace.
Parents need to look at why their teen girls are vulnerable to this, says Dr. Lisa. "What is it that's missing in her life?" she asks. "What is it she's seeking from this person from MySpace? Once you figure that out, how can you help her fill that void in a healthier, safer way? Most of today's teen girls are desperate for a connection. Once they meet the first person who will give that to them, their judgment often goes out the window. Part of it is that they're not getting that connection at home or from friends. It's a normal need, but they're going about it in a dangerous way."

• Tell her about people who've been raped or murdered as a result of MySpace.
"You may want to use real-life examples of girls who been murdered, raped, or who've disappeared after meeting someone on MySpace, Facebook, or Craigslist. (Google 'Donna Jou' for starters--she's a 19-year-old who went on a date with a guy she met on Craigslist last year and hasn't been seen since.) 

Don't tell her about these cases in a lecturing way, or a holier-than-thou way," says Dr. Lisa. "You want to come from an 'I'm concerned about this because...' angle. Parents should stay away from phrases like 'you should' or 'you shouldn't.' Try 'I'm concerned' or 'I'm worried' instead. The last thing you want her to do is shut you out."

• If you find out after the fact that your kid met a stranger, ask why.
"If they do meet someone online and you later find out about it, ask your teen what made her think this was okay," Dr. Lisa advises. "This might make you get out of your own head and into your teen's logic. They have a whole other logic about meeting people online than we do. There's no way to understand them unless you get a sense of where they're at--not where they should be at. Keep in mind, it's part of the teenage years to feel invulnerable and quote-unquote unique. They truly believe 'this will not happen to me.' Parents need to show there are other teens just like them out there and it did happen to them."

This chilling video will also help get the message across:

How do you talk to your teen or tween about meeting strangers on MySpace?