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Mom Steals from 4-Year-Old

posted Saturday, August 23, 2008
filed under: family
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Guest blogger The Mediocre Mama: That's right. I ate his special cookie and I'm not giving it back.
stealingfromchildren[1].jpg
It was a long day--one of those days that feels like treading water, you keep paddling and paddling but can't seem to move forward. I made my way through 60 minutes of traffic and hustled in heels, looking forward to being reunited with my little cherubs--waiting patiently at preschool. When I got there, they were both covered in mud--after all, "it's summer!" (Breathe.) Seconds after I arrived, my little one wanted to be carried and my older one wanted no part of leaving--and felt it important to let everyone in the school know his feelings as loudly as he could muster. What ensued was a struggle to get shoes on (remember, it's summer!), bathroom done, backpacks on and out the gate in time to get home to make dinner.

Wait... what's that in your cubby--a cookie? (one of those oversized ones we all loved as a kid...)

Ohhhhhh, so a kid in your class had a birthday... that's nice. (hmmm.)

I'll just take that and save it for later.

While I drove them home--one screaming to go left, while the other demanding we go "the other way!"--I peeked over to the passenger seat and saw the Buzz Lightyear backpack staring back at me--I swear it was taunting me. 

"Just eat it," demanded that belligerent Buzz. "You know you want to."

"What's one bite?," I thought as I quickly unzipped, reached into the bag and pulled out the ginormous fat-laden treat--chock-full of m&m's. 

"Mmm...that's good stuff."

And just like that I turned into a bad Lifetime movie--you know the ones, the bingeing mom hiding behind a car stuffing her face full of Oreos while the family has no idea of her eating disorder. I didn't stop devouring that cookie until the very last morsel was gone--including the ones that fell on my lap while I tore the cookie apart with my teeth.

My little guys sat in the back, none the wiser to my pathetic display. 

After I finished the cookie, I panicked. What I would tell him, if and when he asked for it? What have I done--was it worth breaking my little guy's heart? Definitely not. I felt terrible--both physically and emotionally--and concocted a plan. 

Oooh, I would just say we left it at school and offer to make a batch together. Perfect!

He never did ask about that special cookie.... and it remained my dirty, fattening little secret. Until now.


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11 comments so far | Post a comment now
That's Just Wrong August 23, 2008, 6:37 PM

What is wrong with you. Try practicing a little self control.

Niki August 23, 2008, 9:04 PM

Cookies are bad for kids anyway….not that they are good for us either…oh well.

JMom August 23, 2008, 10:06 PM

I would TOTALLY do that. He probably ate three at school anyway.

monnie August 23, 2008, 10:44 PM

he probably forgot all about the cookie the minute you put it away anyway. plus you more than made up for it by baking a new batch. i wouldn’t sweat it in the least

Adriana August 24, 2008, 1:03 AM

I don’t think you committed any maternal crime here, especially when you think of the many many worse things mothers have done over time. Lighten up on yourself! If this is the worst thing you ever do as a mom, consider yourself a fabulous mother! You are only human!

ashley August 24, 2008, 1:18 PM

I would’ve done the same thing. Last year my son was in kindergarten and everytime I picked him up I would look around to see what they had for snack and just drool over the leftover fluffy pink cupcakes from some little girls birthday. My son is 6 and when I make him a snack, cereal, ice cream, anything I always take a bite or two. He gets so mad at me. But it keeps me from eating a whole bowl of cereal.

TMD August 24, 2008, 8:58 PM

While I appreciate your having such a conscience and respect for your children…It’s a cookie…a cookie…no sin has been committed…no big deal; and while your clarification of the hectic day you had was entertaining and oh soooooo true as many of us know by personal experience…I truly don’t see the harm in eating a cookie…for goodness sake…forget it!

cara August 30, 2008, 2:51 PM

THAT was so funny. ” Like a bad lifetime movie…..stuffing her face with oreo’s ” LOL

Dorothy September 4, 2008, 8:50 AM

This story is funny if you ask me!! The mother probally had a terrible day, then having to listen to screaming me me’s all the way home from preschool. Well, she deserved a little treat herself… The kids get too many sweets at school anyway. That is probally why they were so hyped up at the end of the day…Sugar will do that to kids you know….Lighten up mama….Oh by the way, You didn’t say if it was good or not…Ha! Ha! Ha!

love this September 4, 2008, 3:19 PM

love this story. My only problem with it is the jealousy of it all. My girls won’t let me get away with things like this. The watch EVERY move I make especially in the car. I can only snack when they’re sleeping.
Sometimes we just need a treat.

Ray September 5, 2008, 11:40 AM

What a funny story,,,what is funnier are some of the comments you are getting…WOW…don’t these people not get that first you are a good story teller and second, your intention was to make people laugh,,,which I did….keep writing…you are good.


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