twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Move over, Mom -- It's Grammy Dearest

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This
Momlogic guest blogger, a grandmother of five, wonders:  "What's fun about being a Grandma? I've already done my time."

Women my age want to show me their 700-page "Grandma's Brag Book" filled with their adorable little monkeys with smeared faces and oversized hats. And those are the abridged versions. I prefer pictures from my trip to Pismo Beach. I have three adorable grandkids and I enjoy them at lunches at my favorite grill -- people like to see my genetic legacy. When the grandkids come for holidays or when my daughters can't find suitable childcare and come sniffing around for free babysitting -- needless to say -- I screen my calls. I feed the grandkids ice cream on the balcony and then give them the remote.

The worst part of grandparenting is being on the emergency contact list. It's quite frustrating when I have to cancel one of my personal trainer sessions. The best part of grandparenting is shopping -- tiny impractical shoes and white tulle skirts with white satin shirts are the order of my day. Grandsons are more difficult; once they hit the floor running, is it rude to take them to happy hour?

I enjoyed my daughters once, but motherhood has not worn well on either of them. Now it's all sweats, industrial bras, unmanicured nails, and roots -- for God's sake. Who wants to be seen with that? I have to lie about their ages as well as mine and it's a lot to remember.
"I never get to, I wish I could..." are my daughters' favorite refrains. And whose fault is that? I made the truth about motherhood quite clear, and they chose to forge ahead anyway. Let the Nana's and Oma's bake cookies and fingerpaint. I prefer Vanity Fair to Goodnight Moon, and Play-Doh is very hard to get off my Manolo Blahniks.

next: This Sunday, Visit Mexico for Dinner
12 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous August 3, 2008, 12:02 PM

Grandchildren are a blessing. When you’re in a nursing home fighting for your life, it’s their faces you’ll be wanting to see, not the soles of your Manolo Blahniks. It’d be wise to invest time in them now so they actually care about you later.

Anonymous August 3, 2008, 1:09 PM

You have a sad & lonely future ahead of you.

Reesey August 3, 2008, 2:29 PM

I took this as tongue in cheek. My mother tells me it’s nice to see her granchildren come but even nicer to see them leave. My mother adores my daughers but she is not the old fashion, stay-at-home grandma, who had white hair, worn an apron and baked cookies, nope she is an executive at an ad agency, has a better shape than most 20 somethings because she runs and teaches yoga. She has a busier schedule than I do with three daughters.

Anonymous August 3, 2008, 3:57 PM

This is sad and selfish, my parents love all the time they have with any of their 11 grandchildern. My in-laws live 3 hrs away and don’t get to see my kids all the time, and wish we could live closer so they could see them more then 1 or 2 a year. Just remember when you’re older and can’t do all that you do now, and your grandkids don’t want to see you, it’s your own fault. What goes around, comes around.

Sara August 4, 2008, 1:07 AM

Omg this is just horrible.. Im a mom, and my mother enjoys all 5 of her grandchildren (not all 5 kids are mine lol only 2 are )

Its very selfish for people to think that..

I Think ANY kind of kid is a blessing for anyone to have in their life.. speically Grandkids :)

April August 4, 2008, 8:26 AM

I don’t see this as being selfish. She raised her children - now it’s her time to enjoy doing whatever she wants to do. Just because YOU want grandma to be available 24/7 doesn’t mean grandma wants to always be available.

My mother loves her grandchildren (all 12 of them) - but she has her own life. She doesn’t stay home, waiting for us to bring the grandkids over. Instead, she comes over here and visits with them - she even babysits for me. But she also doe sher own thing, and lets me know when I can’t ask her to watch my son.

Deidra August 4, 2008, 12:27 PM

its not that you want to do your own thing..i can understand that…it’s the fact that you speak of your daughters as if they were last years prada bag or a pair of shoes purchased from walmart instead of marc jacobs or Jimmy choos…Those are YOUR children!! Enjoy your golden years, there is nothing wrong with that, but you sound like my mother inlaw..she hates kids, told her kids she never even wanted them and yet popped out FOUR! Now my husband has self esteem issues and has a hard time opening up to me..and i won’t let our child anywhere near her! All she cares about is her her mom on the other hand, would follow me to the ends of the earth just so that she can be near her grandbaby. You want to enjoy your me time and that is great..but appreciate all of the love and joy that surrounds you over the holidays and other family gatherings..the smiles on your grand babies faces when something as simple you giving them a hug and telling them that you love them..instead of looking at them like disgusting insects that if you touch them will chip your nails. In conclusion, as i understand your want for your freedom, you sound more like a 16 year old whose parents won’t let you stay out past midnight than a mature woman who should have far sense than that

Kay August 4, 2008, 12:55 PM

I agree with Reesey. I think the author is having a bit of fun here, and I doubt she really begrudges cancelling a personal training session when her grandchildren have an emergency. Who hasn’t had a moment (mine are usually related to potty training) when you think you’d rather be elsewhere (beach, spa) than tending to your cherished cherubs? I imagine that gets worse when you have one degree of separation. Grandma, I agree—you’ve done your time. My kids are my responsibility and yours to enjoy when you and ONLY when you want to…I think too many in our current mom generation forget that Grandma does not automatically equal free-babysitter-on-demand.

kayceepurple August 4, 2008, 6:57 PM

I also believe this was tongue in cheek. As a grandmother myself at the age of 47, I am too young to be “just at home baking cookies.” My granddaughters and I have a ball when we are together, which is all the time. I do the things with them that I was too busy working to do with my own sons. And having had boys as a parent, I get to do all the fun things now. We go shopping, to lunch, to have manicures and pedicures, go to the hair salon. We have sleepovers…and yes I am STILL the emergency contact (as well as MY mother, their GREAT-grandmother). If you take offense to what she has said, then maybe you should check your real motives because she never once said she did not enjoy being a grandparent or that she thought more of her shoes than her grandchildren!

Anonymous November 4, 2008, 6:17 PM

Grandmother or not, she just sounds like a selfish, snooty witch.

judy November 25, 2008, 11:48 PM

im a granny i dont see my gran much
but i keep myself busy so i survive
im in a nursing home this place is
fun we have lots of great shows
and everyone seems very friendly
im looking foward to the holidays
never lonely here

Sara January 9, 2009, 4:38 AM

I sincerly hope you’re joking. My mother is high maintanance, to say the least; she dropped eighty pounds and got a boob job to look better than me on my wedding day! =)
But my mom has no problem with the idea of being Nonna, too. It’s sweet and makes us all happy.

Back to top >>