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My Husband's Mistress is a Computer

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Guest blogger Dani Klein Modisett: Recently, the monitor on my husband's computer broke--no picture. Turns out, it's been great for our marriage.


Usually, after we eat dinner and the kids have been read to, my husband retreats to the office to "work." I don't question him, the guy goes to work all day and deals with the politics and people of that world so if he wants some alone time to "Facebook," (Has this become a verb yet? If not, I feel it coming.) I don't want to nag about it. But it's not like it makes me happy.

Apparently, the thrill of reconnecting with a high school friend who treks in the Appalachian mountains when she's not running a pre-school there is more interesting than sitting on the couch holding hands with his wife during the results show of So You Think You Can Dance. I probably would have just gone along accepting that a man needs his cyber outlet at the end of the day--but now that his computer has been out of commission for almost a week, and we've been "forced" to be together again in the evenings, I realize the space it has been taking up in our lives.

I love the computer--I'm on one right now--but I am wondering how we put boundaries around its usage in our homes so that it doesn't take the place of spending time with each other?

Dani Klein Modisett is the mom of two boys, and the creator/producer of Afterbirth...Stories You Won't Read in Parents Magazine.

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5 comments so far | Post a comment now
trina September 6, 2008, 5:16 PM

My husband spends so much time on his computer in our office. And when he is downstairs spending time with the family, he is on his laptop. I don’t really look forward to him coming home anymore because he dashes off to his dear computer whenever possible. If I try to make him spend time with his family, he just sulks. Maybe I will put a bra on the computer, he might like that.

rems September 6, 2008, 6:03 PM

My girlfriend talks about how I’m on the computer all the time. Maybe i should just brake up with her and make it exclusive?

Some guy September 7, 2008, 12:20 PM

Anything is more interesting than So You Think You Can Dance. Maybe you shouldn’t make him watch crap tv.

becky May 25, 2009, 11:00 PM

My husband is on the computer most of his awake time. Our two kids are like mini-hims and on the computer most of the time. I hate this, but he doesn’t see his time spent on the computer as a problem. It is good to see though that I’m not alone in this.

becca October 28, 2010, 10:10 PM

it’s your life, your kids, your marriage. boundaries are simple to put up. you just say NO MORE. Set timers on the computers to not allow internet access from say 7 pm until 3 pm the next day. then they all have a few hours to do what they want online and you can have family time after 7.

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