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Why Women Date Older Men

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Hollywood continues to be famous for younger women dating and marrying older men. Are Calista Flockhart, Evan Rachel Wood and Catherine Zeta-Jones on to something? We know they're cute and all--but what's the real appeal? We asked momlogic marriage and family therapist Shannon Fox why young beauties hook up with their daddies older men.

1. Financial security: There are many things that an older man can provide for a woman that a younger man can't. By nature women tend to crave security in their relationships and in actuality, older men usually do provide more financial security. A date with a peer most likely means going dutch. A date with someone older most likely means he's paying. It's also likely that the location will be nicer, there may be gifts involved and travel that would be difficult for a younger man to manage.

2. Emotional stability: Older men have had more life experience. They are better equipped to deal with emotional issues. And, they have finished sowing their wild oats so it's easier to feel secure that they're ready to settle down.


Young Women Dating Older Men in Hollywood Gallery

3. Maturity: It's the difference between dating a "guy" and a "Man." Younger men's priorities are different. They may want to go out and drink beers with the guys. Older men are more sophisticated and cultured. It's attractive when a man knows how to enjoy a fine wine.

4. The Daddy complex: This isn't always true, but it's true often enough to earn a title. Either women are really attached to their fathers or daddy doted on them and they are looking to find a replacement for that. Or they had an absent father with no male role model in their lives. So, when a strong father figure steps in, that void is finally filled.

5. Power: Men with power are more attractive. Many times these relationships stem from men being in a more powerful position than the woman. It's often bosses and employees, students and teachers, or people in care-taking positions--an attorney, business manager or financial adviser--who are able to "take care of things" for her. He's showing her that he can manage a difficult situation or get her out of a bind. Also, she can be flattered that a man in his position chooses her.

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15 comments so far | Post a comment now
Tina August 11, 2008, 12:02 PM

Great article…as someone who’s preferred much older men, I think you laid it out very well and without judgment. Good job!

karina August 12, 2008, 1:45 AM

my husben is 14 years older then me,
I was 16 wen I met him, he was 30. We met in mexico I tell him at firs that i was 18 but wen it was time to go home i tell him that I lie to him that I was 16.
I take him to my house he met my mom and he asked permision to my mom to be my boyfriend cens then we’re been happyly unmarried we have 2 kids one shes 2 years old and the other is 7 months; I’m 21 years and he’s 35 and he’s my first and I couldn’t be happier

momof9 August 12, 2008, 11:32 AM

My husband is older than me and many of the reasons above are very true for me. I love his stability, maturity, experience, and the way he leads me in a fatherly way. I think I would add one more compelling reason though he “needed” me desperately and was not afraid to say so. There is nothing more irresistable to a woman than the feeling that her guy really needs from her something he can’t get anywhere else. Especially when he is a powerful confident man in every other way.

kat August 14, 2008, 2:46 PM

So what is your family therapist’s take on why men marry older women? I’m 10 years older than my husband, and would like to hear a non-judgemental story from that angle.

jpvdmyfb nbit September 30, 2008, 8:58 AM

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Chavaughn December 13, 2008, 10:47 PM

wow this is a great article. im 19 now and im really interested in this 30 year old guy. the first guy i talked that was 30 i was 16 then and my mom said that it was a no no and here i am again attracted to another older guy and i really don’t want to take my mom’s advice on me not pursuing a relationship with him. somehow i think that things will be just fine

younger woman January 5, 2009, 11:20 PM

I really like this article as I am doing som reasearch to see if my relationship is doomed or not. I am 28 and my boyfriend is 52. I have never dated such an older man or even given them the time of day. But he is special. Based off of most of the reasons above I have strong feelings for him. I thought there would be some big differences between us but there is not. He still likes to go out and date like I do and we also do some more sofisticated things. I believe that we can work as long as we are willing to comprimise and come together about certain issuses such as sex, children, marraige, housing… So far so good.

Anonymous January 19, 2009, 12:21 AM

I think women who date older men are co-dependent, they cannot handle the real world needing a man to take care of her financially and will do anything she says. Get with it and give a younger man a chance.

Your truely

Elizabeth February 26, 2009, 3:08 PM

Older men are SEXY!!! Thanks for the great article. I’m 21 who likes older men in their 30’s, and 40’s.

Anonymous April 5, 2010, 8:06 AM

Yes older men are the best!!

unique June 21, 2010, 6:37 PM

I’m doing a research paper for my english class due tomorrow lol…but i’m actually dating a 30 years old guy, i’m just 20…we have been together since i turned 18….i loveeee him to dead and would never leave him cause of what people have to say about our relationship….it can be tough at times but its all worth it at the end…good luck all of you ladies dating older men or younger men…love does not have an age :)

Florentina Fellin January 25, 2011, 9:58 PM

Some genuinely excellent posts on this web site,thanks for contribution.

wmv to avi March 17, 2011, 12:24 AM

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Rose April 17, 2011, 6:36 AM

Great Article. I am dating a man who is 41 and I am 24. He blows my mind in so many different ways. I love older men!

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