MILF Mommy's back with fashion advice for moms. "Unless you are a 17-year-old high fashion model, short hair does not look cute and sexy--stop fooling yourself." What she says you're doing wrong with sweaters, make-up--and your purse too.
I got a lot of flack for my last post about how size twelves are fat, but your anger just made me think that the message hit home for some. So, I'm continuing my public service with some advice about your fashion.
I've noticed that many women have children and then decide to let themselves go. What's the deal with this? It doesn't make you a better mother to lose your self-worth--it only makes it look like you don't care about yourself. It also is unfair to your husband. You sold him one thing and now you're delivering another. Don't be surprised if he goes elsewhere. Just sayin'.
Stop cutting your hair short. FYI, it's unattractive. Instead of running to lose the baby weight, some women run to the salon and chop their locks. Why? Short hair is lower maintenance? What about the amount of work it will take to keep your marriage after your husband no longer finds you sexy? Unless you are a 17-year-old high fashion model, it doesn't look good. And for those of you who keep it long, PLEASE brush it and lose the pony-tail. You're not six.
Try mascara. And while you're at it, a little lip-gloss wouldn't hurt. When your husband married you, were you au naturel? I highly doubt it. If your nail polish chips, remove it! At least look like you are trying--or don't be surprised when he runs off with his younger co-worker who actually attempts to take care of herself.
Sweats are a no-no. Unless you are sweating off those baby pounds or taking a kickass Piloxing class, step away from all pants with elastic or pull-strings. You look sloppy and lazy and it's setting a bad example for your children. "Mommy doesn't give a sh*t about herself, sweetie pie. Otherwise I'd wear pants with a button and a zipper." Oh... and sneakers are. for. the. gym. Heels won't kill you.
Lose the 'mom' clothes. Sweater sets aren't sexy--even if you just wear the tank sweater underneath. And, please get new jeans. If you are wearing the same ones from before you had the baby--congrats, but chances are good they're totally out of style. And listen, regardless of what the sales clerk told you at Babies "R" Us, a diaper bag is not a purse.
Take a shower. Shave the legs and wash your hair. If I hear one more time, "I don't even have time to take a shower," I'm going to throw my Manolos at someone's head. Don't think we can't tell that you skipped another day and are hiding that greasy mop in a pony-tail. We can see you. Throw the kid in front of a video and turn the faucet on...pronto.