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Short-Haired Women Are Ugly

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MILF Mommy's back with fashion advice for moms. "Unless you are a 17-year-old high fashion model, short hair does not look cute and sexy--stop fooling yourself." What she says you're doing wrong with sweaters, make-up--and your purse too.

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Hey moms,
I got a lot of flack for my last post about how size twelves are fat, but your anger just made me think that the message hit home for some. So, I'm continuing my public service with some advice about your fashion.

I've noticed that many women have children and then decide to let themselves go. What's the deal with this? It doesn't make you a better mother to lose your self-worth--it only makes it look like you don't care about yourself. It also is unfair to your husband. You sold him one thing and now you're delivering another. Don't be surprised if he goes elsewhere. Just sayin'.

Stop cutting your hair short. FYI, it's unattractive. Instead of running to lose the baby weight, some women run to the salon and chop their locks. Why? Short hair is lower maintenance? What about the amount of work it will take to keep your marriage after your husband no longer finds you sexy? Unless you are a 17-year-old high fashion model, it doesn't look good. And for those of you who keep it long, PLEASE brush it and lose the pony-tail. You're not six.

Try mascara. And while you're at it, a little lip-gloss wouldn't hurt. When your husband married you, were you au naturel? I highly doubt it. If your nail polish chips, remove it! At least look like you are trying--or don't be surprised when he runs off with his younger co-worker who actually attempts to take care of herself.

Sweats are a no-no. Unless you are sweating off those baby pounds or taking a kickass Piloxing class, step away from all pants with elastic or pull-strings. You look sloppy and lazy and it's setting a bad example for your children. "Mommy doesn't give a sh*t about herself, sweetie pie. Otherwise I'd wear pants with a button and a zipper." Oh... and sneakers are. for. the. gym. Heels won't kill you.

Lose the 'mom' clothes. Sweater sets aren't sexy--even if you just wear the tank sweater underneath. And, please get new jeans. If you are wearing the same ones from before you had the baby--congrats, but chances are good they're totally out of style. And listen, regardless of what the sales clerk told you at Babies "R" Us, a diaper bag is not a purse.

Take a shower. Shave the legs and wash your hair. If I hear one more time, "I don't even have time to take a shower," I'm going to throw my Manolos at someone's head. Don't think we can't tell that you skipped another day and are hiding that greasy mop in a pony-tail. We can see you. Throw the kid in front of a video and turn the faucet on...pronto.


next: Elizabeth Edwards: Staying Married for the Kids
72 comments so far | Post a comment now
foxymama August 14, 2008, 5:18 PM

Good advice MILF Mommy!!! You are wise.

Jennifer August 14, 2008, 7:33 PM

Ouch! I am not a mom, nor do I have short hair, but what about the right haircut for the right person. I think their height, facial structure and style can have a lot to do with how short hair works. I see if you mean moms (or anyone for that matter) who go the easy route while raising a kid and looks unkempt. But just what if that hair style suits that person? Just a thought.

mamajama August 14, 2008, 7:39 PM

ABSOLUTELY! This is so true! I feel sorry for the women who don’t realize that to take care of others, you should take care of yourself first. I work hard to make sure my (long) hair is well cared for, always washed, mascara & eyeliner always applied, cute clothes and shoes on. It’s the first step in staying the woman you were. It’s not that hard. DITCH THE SWEATS unless you’re working out! YES!!!

CMC August 14, 2008, 7:41 PM

Ridiculous! My hair is pin-straight and baby fine. I don’t have enough hair for it to be long. No, I’m not six, but I have a very, very stylish haircut even though it’s short. Who died and made you Jose Eber???? Painful!

Jessi August 14, 2008, 8:05 PM

I actually agree with a lot of the points here… although I am wearing a ponytail lately because my 10 month old has learned how to pull… hard. I do think it’s important to keep up with our own showers, clothes and beauty regime… not just for the husbands but for our own self worth. Being nicely put together, freshly showered and a coat of mascara will do wonders for your self esteem.

M.L. August 14, 2008, 11:55 PM

You must have real low self-esteem, you have to put down others to make yourself feel good. If a women feels good about herself, what she looks like doesn’t matter.

praying4baby#2 August 15, 2008, 12:05 AM

WHY DOES THIS SOUND LIKE A MAN WROTE IT?!

Kate August 15, 2008, 12:06 AM

I hope my self-worth is never tied in to my weight. I can’t imagine being so insecure. I feel bad for you.

I make $100,000+ a year working about 20 hours per week in my sweater sets with my professional looking short hair (we all don’t want to look like aging teenagers), so you’ll have to excuse my eye rolling and laughter.

Jennifer August 15, 2008, 12:10 AM

I agree with a lot of these statements. And the underlying message, which is to take good care of yourself and your appearance, even if you’re tired and busy from raising a family. I just don’t like the way that it was said. Although I don’t have short hair, I’m sure that there are women out there who look better with their hair short.

Gilly August 15, 2008, 12:55 AM

Throw the kid in front of a video… good to know your priorities haven’t changed after the beating you took from your last post!
You seem overly invested in appearance and I guess that’s because you don’t have a lot beyond your looks.
That’s okay, when your fifty and the surgeon can’t scult, lift or tuck anything else you’ll have your kids to console you.
Wait.
Your kids will probably grow up to be as superficial as you so they actually won’t be there for you. And, of course, your husband will have left because he is more interested in a size four wrinkle free beauty so you will be all alone.
And alone is a lot better when you like yourself so I’d start working on that now instead of tearing down other women.
Good luck with that.

lilmama August 15, 2008, 2:33 AM

I agree with Gilly. You need to spend less time bitching about other women and more time as a mother, since you are supermom that sees all and knows all. Give me a break everyone mothers different and we don’t need some girly girl, who has to have their nails,hair, make-up and everything else just right.I would rather my baby be happy and cared for instead of myself. When that baby comes you have to put yourself aside just a little. That baby is everything, well I know mine is, she is my world.

rulsgrl August 15, 2008, 9:08 AM

I totally agree with the short hair! I hate to see women with short hair, short hair makes a woman looks so much older! Is it really that much hassle to keep up long hair, just wash and blow dry when your child is taking a nap.
She’s right about letting yourself go too, spend 30 seconds before your husband comes home putting on mascara and lipgloss, your man needs to know you make an effort for him just like you need to know that he makes an effort for you sometimes.

Anonymous August 15, 2008, 9:16 AM

This nasty witch makes me want to cut my hair short.

Linny1 August 15, 2008, 10:29 AM

it must be such a miserable life being so superficial. whatever happend to beuty is on the inside???? i have long hair, but guess what….IT’S IN A PONY TAIL when i’m with the kids, otherwise it’s just in my face and i am constantly stopping to get it out. and put them in front of a video????? come on! no doubt you need to get your priorities straight! i take care of myself, still wear make up and nice clothes, but you are too over the top. you obviously care more about yourself than your children….how i feel bad for.

Jami August 15, 2008, 10:30 AM

How many kids do you have and what are their ages MILF mommy? I would also like to know how many babysitters or daycares do you have on speed-dial? Some of us raise our own kids without constent help from others. My first baby had colic for the first 10 months. Nothing worked to make it better. Most nights I got a total of 3 hours of sleep. I also nursed her with cracked bleeding nipples and got mastitis 3 times in the first 6 months. I now have 3 kids all under 5 years old.
Did I mention that I also have fibromyalgia. I am working on getting my wait down close to where I was before my kids, and where jeans most of the time. Due to a scar tissue problem in one of my ears I have a balance problem and my high heel days are now gone. My hair is long and after my kids get out of the hard hair pulling days I do not wear ponytails.
The next time you see these moms that you think have let themselves go remember you do not know all that they are living thru.
I forgot to mention that my husband never knows where he will have to go for work. We live in Montana and he has worked in many other states during this time of raising our kids. (the closest airport is about 300 miles)I am a single mom during most weeks. So if I am caught at the grocery or post office not looking my best it is because that was the most convenient time to get away.
I feel bad for those of you that are so worried about your husband cheating if you don’t look pretty enough. My husband and I have been through many medical issues and many days apart, and if you keep talking through them you will have a stonger marriage no matter how much both of you let yourself go.
I do agree however that after the kids get a bit older you will have more time for yourself. You should use your time to put back some of the pieces of your former self or reinvent the “you” that you always wanted to be.

them there is fighin' words August 15, 2008, 2:25 PM

OH! MY! Gosh!! I am literally laughing out loud! How can one person be so critical of so many others? You must be a godess who is tortured to walk around this planet with the rest of us trolls. And your husband must be in heaven every time he’s around you…that is unless you’re as critical of him as you are of other women.

kris  August 15, 2008, 2:34 PM

Why won’t you reveal yourself so we can take a look at you instead of you making all these assumptions about the general population Please don’t hide your face let us see the perfect woman—-Thank you

Kids first August 15, 2008, 2:53 PM

Lots of beautiful, thin women lose their husbands to other women (a long-haired Jennifer Aniston comes to mind). So if you think that being a MILF is going to be enough to keep your husband, think again! I’d watch that attitude of yours, he may tire of it.

NOYB August 15, 2008, 9:37 PM

Some one please kick this
Mommy
I’d
Like to
FORGET

off the board
This supposed to be a board about helping Mommies not putting them down.

If she put this in a helpful format I would Love to hear more from her.

She is one of these people who only she black and white (or what ever her preferred racial color is) rich or poor. Breast is best or Bottles.

She is a manipulator, a bully in real life, the person (not just a woman or a mother)to avoid.

She is a very sad lonely person on the inside who hides it with fakes smiles and knife in your back comments.

I say Ignore her stop posting and fueling her. All she wants is attention and you are giving it to her

If you agree fine you will need each other to support your co-dependency.

I’m sure she is a beautiful person inside underneath all her “oniony” layers.

To MILF: I hope you find the love you need to no longer be so rude. Don’t bother responding as I will never read any of your post again and I only use the email address I provided for Junk mail and only open it to delete all.

Have a Better Life MILF, you sound like you need it.

Anna August 16, 2008, 3:52 AM

Hmm I agree with you on most of those things, however, i do disagree with the short hair thing. Some woman look good with short hair, not many, but some. Meryl streep comes to mind. btw, I speak from a younger persons perspective (age 18 actually) and I am up to date. Other then that great advice!


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