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Size 12, You're Fat!

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Guest blogger MILF Mommy thinks you're fat.


I am sick and tired of hearing that it's OK to be a size 12. I understand that this is the average weight of women in the United States, but since when does average make everything OK? Here's some low-cal food for thought...

1. You're not as cute as you could be. Being a size 12 is neither healthy nor is it attractive. Ask any man (in private) if he'd prefer that his size 12 wife lose weight and he'd say, "YES!"

2. You're lying about feeling good. Any woman who says she'd rather be a size 12 than a size 6 is lying. Think about it. Have you ever met someone who has lost weight who regrets it? Does anyone ever say, "I hate how I look in this sexy dress with my toned arms"? Or, "I preferred it when I had a muffin top belly and huge thighs"?

3. Stop pretending you are on a diet. I'm also sick of these size 12 women pretending that they do everything possible, but just can't lose the weight. That's impossible. If you really exercised 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week and ate the recommended 1800 calories a day, you wouldn't be a size 12. So stop pretending. And FYI -- it defeats the purpose if you eat salads for every meal that are covered in bacon and blue cheese dressing.

4. Thin people aren't lucky -- they work harder than you. I work very hard to be a size 4. It's difficult, but I always find the time to work out. I also make many food sacrifices. I would love to eat baked ziti for lunch and get dessert after every meal. I'd also be thrilled to drink a beer! But, sometimes in life you have to give things up in order to gain something bigger.

5. Stop using genes as a crutch. I get it. Sometimes it's harder for people to eat well and exercise than it is for others--being heavy may run in your family, you may have had an issue way back when. The same goes for people who do drugs, but it doesn't make it OK that they are addicts.

This may sound harsh, but you are doing a disservice to our children. I don't want my daughters under the delusion that life will be easy as a chunky person. It's harder to get work, find a husband and even walk up stairs. It's also a good way to decrease your life expectancy. It seems to be taboo to discuss this epidemic too loudly, but I think it's time we start.

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343 comments so far | Post a comment now
trisgam August 8, 2008, 2:27 PM

You are a real winner. How can you possibly know what other people eat or feel??? I happen to be a mother of 4 and am a size 16. OMG I know horrible! lol I used to be a size 8, yes that would be nice to be that size again, but after having 4 kids, and having a big frame, I probably wont be there again. And you know what! I am happy with that. I am happy, have a wonderful realtionship, and yes, guys still do stare at me and smile, and ask me out. So, if you are happy being a size 4, good for you. But just because you are not happy does not give you the right to belittle other woman, or girls for that matter. I really do feel sorry for woman like you. You must lead a sad life to have to put people down like you do. You know that whole misery loves company. I feel for your family, the drama they must live with.
Do yourself a favor, and get over yourself and get a real life. One you will be happy with……

Anonymous August 8, 2008, 2:33 PM

Who cares what other people look like. I believe if everyone stops worrying about weight and focuses on being healthier everyone would be happy. Not everyone has a “perfect” body. I eat healthy and work out an hour a day but I’m still a size 10. Honestly I think you should just get over yourself. And as for the name there is a fine line between confident and slutty!

Lauren August 8, 2008, 2:44 PM

I think the majority of these comments are very rude. I don’t agree that everyone should be a size 4, but the rest of this blog article is still worth considering.

I think parts of this article are harsh, and the focus of your size shouldn’t be the attention you get from it, but I see so many of my friends trying to lose weight making the same mistakes. There are misconceptions about what skinny people do to stay skinny; it helps if you grow up with good knowledge of nutrition and good habits at home (I didn’t), but you don’t have to be miserable and deprived to be skinny. You have to delay gratification and make hard choices. I went from a size 7 to a size 4 and I feel better trading my lunch chats with friends to going on walks together instead. I went from eating fast food three or four times a week to cooking healthy, cheaper meals. I FEEL healthier being thin. I use to overeat and I had terrible digestive results. It take work and a lot of self-control, but I don’t obsess over my weight.

Stop attacking and judging this woman so harshly; her message may seem superficial, but there is a lot of substance here. No everyone can be or should strive to be a size 4, but if you are overweight and you know it, don’t excuse it for bad genes or think skinny people are just lucky.

Vita August 8, 2008, 3:17 PM


S August 8, 2008, 5:46 PM

Despite the somewhat self-congratulatory and smug tone, I have to agree with the writer’s main point…

“Just because everyone does it, DOES NOT make it okay.”

Isn’t this what we tell our kids when they want to dress or act like some of their peers or TV celebrities? The same applies to adults. Obesity affects not only the overweight person, but the rest of their family: through setting eating examples, to health problems, and ultimately, to a shortened life span.

Size 12 is not healthy for the majority of women who are that size. Being overweight and unhealthy is a selfish thing to do when you’re responsible for setting a good example for your children. Your eating habits are the ones your children will learn and you’re going to make their lives harder and more illness-prone- all because you enjoy eating Hagen-Daaz and McDonalds.

There’s a reason ‘selfish pig’ is a common expression.

M August 8, 2008, 5:56 PM

As a size 14/16 I agree with you MILF Mommy. I am not big boned. (Actually I have a small frame based on wrist & rib measurements). I know I don’t look good. (though the fat in the face does delay some signs of aging). I am not kidding myself, but know the people who do. So 45 minutes 5 days a week and 1800 calories is what it takes to not be fat? I’ll try it.

Katie August 9, 2008, 2:32 AM

What’s sad is that some of what this MILF Mommy said is true… but the way she said it is totally wrong. So it is not going to get thru to the people who it was targeted at without getting a defensive response.

#1 - Size has nothing to do with attractiveness. My hubby is just as attracted to me now as he was before I got pregnant and had our daughter… if not moreso now. Sure I was a size 7… now I’m a size 12/14. But my hubby would never tell anyone that he wants me to lose weight. He would support me if I want to try to lose weight, yes, but he wouldn’t tell someone that I need to.

#2 - I am NOT lying about feeling good. I feel happy and content with my body, “muffin top” and all. I brought a child into this world, and survived it. I wore a bikini to the beach for the first time in almost 10 years, and felt absolutely beautiful, muffin top and all. Sure I’d like to lose it, but that doesn’t make me any less happy about myself.

#3 - I am not on a diet. Diets are unhealthy in the long run. I AM trying to eat right, but I’m not obsessing about it. STOP STARVING YOURSELF!

#4 - Some thin people ARE “lucky”… accept it. I used to be a size 4, 110 lbs… IN HIGH SCHOOL! But for normal women, having a baby expands your hips… you could exercise all you want but your hipbones are still going to stay the same. Get used to it.
But yes some people work VERY hard to be a size 4… it’s called exercise bulimia. It’s not healthy. Maybe you should take a day off and spend some time with your kid.

#5 - Worry about how you raise your own kids, and I’ll worry about how I raise mine. Don’t you dare point fingers and talk about doing a disservice to our children. You are obviously raising yours to be a stuck up snob who thinks that looks are everything and will end up with an eating disorder when they are older because they think they need to be “perfect”.

And I’d love to hear you explain to your kids what MILF means. Grow up.

Srsly?  August 9, 2008, 3:19 AM

It’s sad that people actually think like this. Far too much stress is put upon women these days to look “thin and firm.” Honestly, I’d rather focus on more important things, things that are a touch less shallow. Granted, I happen to be naturally thin as high metabolism runs in my family (i.e. I don’t work hard to maintain my weight, imagine that!), but honestly, it makes me sad to see people being forced to stress out about their weight when it’s not even become a health issue for them.

People need to be happy with who they are, but how can they do that while the media and blogs like yours are breathing down their necks telling them they’re ugly? That’s hardly edifying—I would suggest building others up and encouraging exercise for heart and mental health and not to attain some “perfect” weight. We’d all be better off without that kind of pressure.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who are you to tell anyone otherwise? Honestly.

Gilly August 9, 2008, 4:45 AM

This was a joke right? This is a momlogic joke? Because if not someone needs to get that woman some chocolate - stat! She is way to bit**y, maybe she would be happier is she relaxed and ate something besides raw spinach once a week.
To think that happiness is defined by ones size… that’s just sad. Maybe fat people (of which I am one) have problems because people like this woman treat us badly. And I didn’t have trouble getting a husband! No one I know has. Maybe that is because our self esteem is not wrapped up in our body size. And as for lazy, I’d love to see if you could keep up with me!
So honey, eat something. Relax. If your husband will only love you if you are a size four, dump him. Go load up on chocolate, and find a man that will love you for yourself - or maybe just learn to love yourself, it sounds like you don’t.

Miss August 9, 2008, 3:31 PM

I’ve been a size 4 and am now a size 15 due to pregnancy, laziness, and over eating. There’s no doubt I was happier and felt healthier when I wasn’t carrying all this fat around! Yes size 12 is fat. This lady is just speaking the truth. Take it from someone who has worn both sets of shoes!!! Stop making up excuses on why it’s okay to be unhealthy! Back to the gym I go so I can get my true self back!!!

Gilly August 9, 2008, 5:36 PM

To Miss, I was a size two until I became pregnant with my first child. I gained 100 pounds exactly during that pregnancy. At my four month check up the doc told me I would be 200 pounds at delivery if I continued to gain weight like I was and I laughed because it seemed so absurd - boy I wasn’t laughing on the scales at the hospital! I had a lot of trouble losing the weight after that, and only lost about half but what I didn’t realize was that that was okay! I looked nice and I was at a healthier weight than I had ever been. But I had always felt such pity and disdain for “fat” people that I didn’t want to have an ounce extra! Well, enter child number two and the same problem and this time, I was unable to lose the weight at ALL. Turns out I was recently diagnosed as severely anemic with an underactive thyroid. Doctor says that with the iron pills and meds for my thyroid I will feel better, have more energy and finally be able to lose some weight. And yes, I want to lose some weight as I’m up to a size 24 - something I never would have imagined when I had trouble finding clothes small enough to fit me. But you know what I have found out? It isn’t about my size, it’s about my attitude! If you don’t have self esteem it doesn’t matter if you are a size 3 or a size 26 you are still going to project the same image! I’m divorced now and I find that I get asked out a lot. I thought it was just guys being jerks but a doctor at the ER told me he really liked the confident way I carried myself and the focus I had on my child (ear infection, lots of pain in the middle of a weekend night hence the ER run). So yes, be healthy. Yes, workout, it helps your heart and boosts your energy. BUT LOVE YOURSELF, feel good about yourself and don’t be ashamed of your body! And yes, eat chocolate sometimes, it just makes the world a prettier place.

anna August 10, 2008, 3:39 PM

What an angry person.Looks like me she is a very jealous one too.I feel really bad for her family to have to live with such a person.Indeed get a life and get angry over meaningful things in life.Maybe you have nothing else to do then to work out 5 hours a day.Well there are lots of women who have a more exciting life then you and do other things.Reading a book!!!!!!

Amanda Meyer August 11, 2008, 6:29 AM

Wow. I’m totally offended by this! Just because you’re a size 12 does not make you “fat”! I myself am a size 10, in some brands a size 12, but I don’t consider myself fat. I just have that classic coke bottle shape—as many women do. You can be in shape and toned and still be a size 12. This is a ridiculous blog!

rosalie mondacci August 11, 2008, 7:01 AM

everything in moderation is a great thing to live. i’m trying it i think its working

chel thinks u r crazy August 11, 2008, 7:07 AM

You are one of the stupidest people I have heard in a long time. You know when I was a a size 1-5 I never had to work hard to be like that. I ate if I wanted to eat When I wanted to eat. I always thought I would be this way. But guess what I WAS NOT HEALTHY THEN!!!!! I was under weight. Being 5’8” and weighing 100lbs is not good. But then I decided to become a “mommy”. Since having both my beautiful daughters I am a size 8-10 depending on the brand name miss size 4(which is prob. a size 6 in some brands) How does that feel you know you are raising you kids bad. Making them think like this. I walk 4 miles at a time 2 or more times a week depending on my life as a mommy. You know since my life don’t revolve around me being a MILF for the most part. I feel know that I am healthy at 145lbs. I feel comfortable in my clothing and I know MY HUBBY LOVES ME FOR ME AND NOT FOR THE WAY I LOOK. Yes looks attract the man to you(unless he already knows your personality) but who you are inside is what keeps him there. I hate that I had to get up and first thing read this because you are already started my fire at 7am. I do understand the point about eating healthier but the fact that you say “If you really exercised 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week and ate the recommended 1800 calories a day, you wouldn’t be a size 12.” is the biggest “BS”. You have no right to say something like this to people you dont know. What may be that easy for you may not be easy for others and the same goes for you FOXYMAMA. You know everyone is made different. Let you get sick and have to take a certain type of meds. that make you gain weight then I would like to hear you say exercise 45mins 5 days a week and eat 1800 calories a day. You some times eating less you can still gain weight depending on your health. You need to reconize that eat and exercise has a lot to do with it but you still have not right to jugde other mom’s like this. You need to learn a better approach to it if you want people to listen to you.
And one more thing YOU ARE DOING A DISSERVICE TO OUR CHILDREN WHEN YOU REFER YOUR SELF TO A MILF MOM. What in the world are you teaching the kids in the world???? I would never refer myself in that way infront of my 2 daughters or any other child. And it is only teaching the boys that they can refer to a woman any way the can. GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandy August 11, 2008, 7:30 AM

So, what’s a MILF?

Even if you were right, you come off as such a supercilious b*tch that I would not want you as a friend. Do you have any friends?

Both women and men should strive for a healthy weight for their height and build. That’s probably NOT a size 4 for 98% of the women I know. Enjoy your life. Be active, eat healthy and have a beer or a glass of wine and some dessert now and then so you don’t turn into a know-it-all creep.

gloria August 11, 2008, 7:37 AM



Denise K August 11, 2008, 8:02 AM

I am shocked not only by the MILF title, but by the disconcern and disrespect of others. If you choose to be a size 4, good for you. If you choose to be a size 12, good for you. It doesn’t matter what size you are as long as you are healthy and HAPPY. Mental health is the key at any size. No matter what size I am, I do not judge others because it is NOT my place. God is my judge, “JUDGE NOT LESS YE BE JUDGED.” Anger is unhealther than being a little overweight. Anger leads to high blood pressure, heart attacks, and other ailments including mental illness. The key to a healthy life is peace and happiness whatever your size.

sam August 11, 2008, 8:37 AM

at a size 4 my question is do you have breasts (that are real). to me that is the size of a young girl not a women. how does your husband feel about that!!or does he avoid that area??

human August 11, 2008, 9:26 AM

milf is just plain UGLY;UGLY as a potato bug and just as useless

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