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Top 12 Off-Limits Songs for Dads

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Guest blogger Paul Starke: It takes a real dad to cry.


I knew that having a baby would change everything. I knew that when my son Luke was born three months ago, there would be non-stop crying, among other things. I didn't realize that I'd be doing most of the crying. It seems that almost anything will trigger tears when I'm holding my boy, specifically, a cheesy yet well-crafted sentimental song. In this first edition of "The Daddy Dozen," I present you with the 12 SONGS THAT NOW MAKE ME SOB UNCONTROLLABLY.

1. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN by Crosby, Stills and Nash
An obvious choice, but I think this song moved me so much because it made me realize that I'll be able to teach my son very little, except how to swear and eat ribs very quickly.

2. SWEET CHILD O'MINE by Guns 'N Roses
On second thought, Axl Rose might give your iPod a case of iHerpes. Download the Sheryl Crow version instead.

This was the first song that made me realize things had gone horribly wrong.

4. RUBBER DUCKIE by Ernie from Sesame Street
This reminded me of my childhood, and how much I hated baths. I still do.

5. THE RAINBOW CONNECTION by Kermit and other various Muppets
I'm not sure what this song is even about, but my wife sang it to my son and it destroyed me.

6. ENTER SANDMAN  by Metallica
New York Yankee fans know this as Mariano Rivera's theme; I heard it, wept, and wanted to take Luke to his first baseball game immediately.

7. FOREVER YOUNG by Bob Dylan
You can actually understand what Bob's saying in this one.

8. CAT'S IN THE CRADLE by Harry Chapin
"When you coming home, Dad?" "I don't know when." 'Nuff said.

Make a video scrapbook of your kid's pictures set to this song. I defy you not to get choked up. Plus, when DOESN'T Alan Thicke make you cry?

I happened to catch a rerun during a late-night feeding. I thought of someday opening a junkyard with my son and lost it.

11. MMMbop by Hanson
This song made me cry BEFORE my son was born -- because it's so horrible.

12. THE SWEET ESCAPE by Gwen Stefani featuring Akon
For some inexplicable reason, this was playing in the delivery room as Luke was being born. This song will forever remind me of my wife's loveliness. And her low standards.

Paul Starke is an Emmy-winning TV producer, and a co-writer of the #1 New York Times bestseller, An Inconvenient Book.

next: Twilight Moms Unite
9 comments so far | Post a comment now
Lollie August 1, 2008, 7:41 PM

*lol* Cute article…especially the parts of you crying over Alan Thicke, Kermit and Hansen? ha! love it!

Anonymous August 1, 2008, 9:55 PM

LOL. #11 is my favorite.

Jen August 2, 2008, 1:02 AM

Love this dad. Very touching.

Anonymous August 4, 2008, 10:43 PM

Bob Dylan is very easy to understand in all of his songs.

Peter August 5, 2008, 7:31 AM

A number one best seller? Hard to belive when this is the most inane article I have ever read. Is the book as banal?

Anonymous August 5, 2008, 1:04 PM

Morty and I really enjoyed your list although we were not too familiar with some of the songs. Your parents are so low key,but very proud, about their son that we didn’t know about the book. It will now be read and commented on in completion. Enjoy your wonderful so. Rhoda Green

Auntie Annie August 9, 2008, 11:46 AM

Now you made me cry!…and Laugh!!

Bobby September 2, 2008, 9:39 AM

You forgot “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlise. My daughter is 31 now and it still makes me think back to when she was small. Now I have 3 granddaughters and I think of them when it comes on, along with the daughter.

Karen S December 5, 2008, 5:07 PM

Aww, this was sweet. I have a daughter, so the one that gets me is “Isn’t She Lovely?”, the Stevie Wonder song about his girl “only one hour old.” I also adapt John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy” to my situation. When girlie’s up all night crying, “Anything Anything” by Dramarama won’t leave my head.

Anything my husband sings to her makes me cry. “Molly bear, it’s not fair…”

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