Honey, Our Babies Are Drunk

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Honey, Our Babies Are Drunk

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

filed under: kid

This weekend, we attended a Labor Day party at a neighbor's house. Before we left home, my husband and I reviewed the list of rules with our kids. Due to an unfortunate oversight, we forgot to include "Do Not Consume Alcoholic Beverages" on the list of no-nos.

As the only adult party guests who were not either wearing T-shirts that said "One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!" or acting out the behavior described on them, my husband and I were relegated to the kitchen, where we were immediately converted into wait staff. Tim was put in charge of grilling an assortment of Italian meats that he could neither name nor identify, while I was asked to carry a number of peculiar salads to the serving table. I decided to arrange the salads alphabetically, just for fun. Just as I was aligning the serving spoon for what appeared to be a beet salad with the tongs wedged amongst a mound of overcooked broccoli, I caught a glimpse of my three preschoolers filling up their cups at the beverage table. That they were getting their tenth drink in 10 minutes wasn't the problem; what they were drinking, however, was.

"Ah!" I screeched, batting the red plastic cup out of my 5-year-old daughter's hand. "Don't drink that!" It was too late. Cortlen and Kellen's cups were nearly empty as well.

"How much of this did you drink?" I asked them, pointing at the boxed wine. The estimates I received varied from the volume of shot glass to the volume of a swimming pool.

"The kids are drunk," I announced to my husband. After we congratulated ourselves on being such good parents, my husband and I decided that the only appropriate thing to do was ask our neighbors where they got their inspirational T-shirts, and if they came in children's sizes as well.

Jana Mathews is the mother of three preschoolers and author of The Meanest Mom blog.

8 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

You’re not alone… while at a BBQ my husband was drinking a Jack & Coke … mind you he’s not a heavy drinker so it sat on the table with ice melting away as usual. When our then 10 yr old son asked if he could have a sip of dad’s soda … without a thought hubby said yes… so of course our son gulped down half the drink before saying “eeewww… dad what’t wrong with your soda?” The drink was then quickly taken away…just a tad too late

- ak mom

Posted 09/03/08 03:18 PM

My 6 year old tasted my cranberry juice and vodka one night. Now he knows not to touch mommy’s red juice. When we were kids my dad used to let us taste his beer. We all knew it was so gross but we thought it was funny so we always wanted a sip. So I’m wondering if your 3 girls were acting intoxicated?? I think that’s so funny.

- ashley

Posted 09/04/08 08:01 AM

that is so funny! I’m wondering how they acted as well! when I was younger my parents would let me have a sip of their drinks and I never liked it. to this day I still don’t like the taste of alcohol! there’s only a very small handful of alcoholic drinks I’d ever touch, and I don’t touch them very often.

- a.

Posted 09/04/08 01:54 PM

Its is not funny it is very sad … Its awful that people cant get together and have a good time without drinking … and its awful that they had alcohol were kids could reach it … talk about irresponsible … I would be so pissed off and would have said so as I was leaving if that had been my kids drinking it …

- Sandra Deffner

Posted 09/04/08 02:12 PM

it could happen to anyone and its not like someone GAVE it to them.atleast the mom caught them before they got ill.

- renee

Posted 09/04/08 08:45 PM

AND WE WONDER WHY OUR CHILDREN TURN INTO ALCOHOLICS. THIS IS HOW OUR CHILDREN DROWN IN POOLS, DIE IN CARS, ETC… EVERYONE THINKS SOMEONE ELSE IS WATCHING THEIR CHILDREN.

- Linda

Posted 09/04/08 09:05 PM

Ok, so kids drinking is not funny…but this kind of is! It was not as though the kids were sneaking around filling their cups or that other adults were doing it for them…it was a mistake on many levels but seriously…you think this is going to make them alcoholics? Please!! Let me tell ya, my husbands family never talked about drinking and they were never allowed around it, and want to know what he did when he went to college? He went nuts finding out what all the secrecy and hype was about. His roommate was allowed to drink a beer at tailgate parties from the time he was 15 on…guess who didn’t go overboard? You got it…his roommate…seriously folks, take responsibility but don’t go ultra overboard…sheltering your children so terribly is not doing them any favors! Oh and as for other people watching your children…hey Linda…I’m glad you are super mom, but no matter how hard you try to watch your children all the time, it’s never ever going to happen…sometimes the ‘it takes a community to raise a child’ adage should be something we all can count on.

- Sandi

Posted 09/07/08 07:08 PM

This has happened to me before at a party with my oldest son, he was 3 years old at the time and is 10 now. It was an honest mistake on our part. We were deep into a card game and all had the same type of cups and so did he. We did not realize that he had taken a drink from everyones cup. Until I reached for mine and could not find it, he was standing right next to me drinking my drink. Luckily I only had a swollow left. From that point on it was nothing but water and we had to have sippy cups for him at all gatherings. Every since then I do not allow my children to drink after me so they will not go directly for my cup to have drink no matter if it is water….NEXT TIME PUT THE ALCHOLIC BEVERAGES UP HIGH OR ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER!!!!!!!!!!….. OH AND BY THE WAY THAT IS NOT WHY KIDS DIE IN CARS, OR SWIMMING POOLS IT IS BECAUSE OF IRRESPONSIBLE AND NEGLECTFUL ADULTS WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!! AND FOR THOSE WHO DISAGREE IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU, SO IF YOU DO NOT WANT A LIFE BECAUSE ALL YOUR TIME IS SPENT WATCHING YOUR CHILDREN LIKE A HAWK THEN GO AHEAD. BUT I BET YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING AT ALL TIMES. I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO SEE AND KNOW WHAT A 100% PERFECT PARENT LOOKS LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLAD I GOT THAT OFF MY CHEST :-)

- LAKISHA BROWN

Posted 09/08/08 07:34 AM

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Honey, Our Babies Are Drunk

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8 comments so far | Post a comment now >>