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Can Cheating Save Your Marriage?

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Absolutely, says the founder of an online service that helps people commit adultery.

noel biderman ceo ashley madison silhouette click to reaveal

There's a controversial Web site out there called Ashley Madison that's essentially a matchmaking service for cheaters. Its slogan? "Life is short, have an affair." To date, it has 2,490,000 members and counting. And it was created by--get this--a married father of two.

Here's how it works: Anyone can log on to the site and for a one-time fee of $49, users create a private profile to send e-mails, chat and wink--much like a mainstream dating service. The only difference is that the so-called daters are all married. Because, according to the owners, cheating is "a serious and emotional decision," there is no recurring monthly fee, and users can come and go as they please. When the credit card arrives, Ashley Madison is labeled as an innocuous charge. Says one momlogic staffer: "I signed up to see if guys would really respond--and queries from married men were flooding my inbox within 30 minutes. And they didn't stop coming--every 20 minutes, another would pop up."

Here are some real solicitations from married men:

"To be honest, I am not looking to leave my wife but I do miss having a sexual connection in my life. My wife completely lost her sex drive since birth of our child. I love to please women and I'm very generous in bed. Plus I'll always respect your boundaries."

• "I love to have sex but my wife and I don't do it nearly enough. I'm looking for someone who can meet up once or twice a week. We don't always have to go to a hotel, we can just enjoy each others' company...I'm a very social guy, and I love meeting new people. I've got a strong sexual appetite, and I typically will go for an hour or more. Not trying to brag, but I really do like to savor the experience. Sex is always best when you're keeping it interesting and I consider myself very adventurous in the bedroom. If all this sounds interesting to you, let's get to know each other!"

"I'm your typical executive who is looking for something more. I value trust, honesty, and above all, discretion. I am hoping to find married women who have no desire to leave their husbands but just want to add some fun to their life. I love an intelligent and opinionated woman...If you are interested in having an open, trusting and ongoing affair, then please feel free to write me. Thanks for your time."

We spoke to Noel Biderman, the 37-year-old aforementioned married father of two and Chief Operating Officer of Ashley Madison, on the state of marriage today and why he created such a controversial service.

Find out if this married Ashley Madison founder and father of two is a cheater as well.

next: Stand Up to Cancer
147 comments so far | Post a comment now
Dianne September 5, 2008, 8:24 PM

I love the quote from the CEO who “values trust and honesty.” Sure would be interesting to know if he trusted his wife enough to be honest with her and tell her what he was doing! Whatever happened to those good old sacred wedding vows?

Erna September 5, 2008, 8:26 PM

As a woman, I’d like to have sex too!
My husband and I don’t connect in a physical fashion anymore, and he never really had a girlfriend. I wish he would find someone who he can have sex with - And I could find someone too. This is just a business arrangment at this point. And too complicated to tear apart. Everyone should just have fun, forgive and forget and go on.

Chris September 5, 2008, 8:40 PM

You’re kidding, right? “If you are interested in having an open, trusting and ongoing affair, then please feel free to write me.” If you actually believe that ‘trust’ and ‘affair’ belong in the same sentence, then you need a psychologist, not an affair. Almost as good as men believing that being on the ‘down low’ is not gay! Thanks for the laughs…

julia September 5, 2008, 8:43 PM

I would love to join this site but do not see why you have to charge someone for finding pleasure.

Me September 5, 2008, 8:51 PM

wow, 2 million+ people? I’ve got one word for the unfaithful: Divorce

Joann September 5, 2008, 8:51 PM

my husband used this site to cheat on me, I love that cheaters say have an open and honest affair, while they are lying and cheating on their spouses, all for sex. This is sick and disgusting and I hate that this even exists in our world.

Anonymous September 5, 2008, 8:53 PM


Hank September 5, 2008, 8:59 PM

I wonder what reaction that CEO guy would have if his wife signed up and he found out.

Kaaran September 5, 2008, 9:00 PM

I am guilty of having an affair with a married man for four years. I was single, Once in a while he would talk about us getting married I would laugh and say no way I would never marry a cheater. I finally broke this off and I will always carry such guilt for my part in doing this to this woman. Get a damn divorce if you want to cheat. And ps I heard this guy is still cheating on his wife and yes she knows all about it and stays with him.

Eva September 5, 2008, 9:00 PM

Why is anyone offended? If you want to cheat go on the site if not dont…If your spouse cheats on you its their character defect not yours.Move on..Cut your losses

Jessa September 5, 2008, 9:00 PM

My husband cheated on me. I went on a diet, worked out with a trainer (on his dime) and ate fitflax which made my skin shine, my hair grow and reduced my appetite..and then dated my trainer… My husband suddenly is more interested…funny how that works ha!

Hank September 5, 2008, 9:03 PM

By the way ladies, this site also caters to woman who want to cheat on their husbands so don’t pretend to be so innocent.

ybrd September 5, 2008, 9:05 PM

Trust&belief is not a game-if the need to expand avenues more broad is desired,ur mate MAY understand.Yet-to dodge reality and pretend love is hokey dokey.. bad joke.If the diversity isnt met with understanding-maybe the joke is on u.How well are u able to love?

Joann September 5, 2008, 9:05 PM

offended, because some sick bastard created a place that husbands and wives don’t have to leave their spouses, better yet, they can lie and cheat and leave their spouses at home wondering where the hell they are while they are out meeting the losers from this site that decide they want their cake and eat it too. They want their wives or husbands at home to take care of their children while they happily go out and cheat on their spouses, for what? more damn sex?

Tom Myers September 5, 2008, 9:11 PM

I am a sepperated married. I still enjoy sex. I don’t want any strings attached. Can be adventous in the bedroom.I am white 72 and don’t look my age. I like younger woman

bsho September 5, 2008, 9:18 PM

y’all don’t get it, do ya? It’s just another enterprenuer that started a website that may or may not provide a very real service, in some cases it probably does, but the person that owns it is getting filthy rich. Think about it. $49 and over 2 million subscribers already… that’s like $98,000,000.00 plus and counting!!!!!!!!!!

Dan September 5, 2008, 9:32 PM

Typical addition to an already sick society. The value of relationships is already at a all time low without this low lifes tool being added to it.

Bottom line folks, if you feel this need over and above the relationship you made the promise to, go the route of divorce and be honest with everyone.

Don’t make a move that makes the wet slime beneath a rock look better than you!

Jack September 5, 2008, 9:38 PM

If people really want to cheat, they will find a way to do it anyway. This site just makes it convenient! I say to the victor goes the spoils. If you don’t want your spouse to cheat, then take care of your business in your bedroom!

mary September 5, 2008, 9:51 PM

People are not naturally monogamous, yet we force unrealistic expectations upon ourselves. Sometimes having an affair is the only way to keep the marraige together. Passion fades over time, yet a couple may have a very good life together aside from the lack of desire. Just don’t bring home anything (i.e. disease, babies…)

maria September 5, 2008, 9:56 PM

come on people really sex is sex love is love, it all comes from one of two places; love or fear. When humans stop seeing themselves as seperate from one another(love),then intimacy(sex)will be equally shared by all. This whole idea of cheating all comes from a place of fear and once people consider their fellow humans as part of themselves and accept that WE ARE ALL ONE then ALL THERE IS IS LOVE.

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