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Can Cheating Save Your Marriage?

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Absolutely, says the founder of an online service that helps people commit adultery.

noel biderman ceo ashley madison silhouette click to reaveal

There's a controversial Web site out there called Ashley Madison that's essentially a matchmaking service for cheaters. Its slogan? "Life is short, have an affair." To date, it has 2,490,000 members and counting. And it was created by--get this--a married father of two.

Here's how it works: Anyone can log on to the site and for a one-time fee of $49, users create a private profile to send e-mails, chat and wink--much like a mainstream dating service. The only difference is that the so-called daters are all married. Because, according to the owners, cheating is "a serious and emotional decision," there is no recurring monthly fee, and users can come and go as they please. When the credit card arrives, Ashley Madison is labeled as an innocuous charge. Says one momlogic staffer: "I signed up to see if guys would really respond--and queries from married men were flooding my inbox within 30 minutes. And they didn't stop coming--every 20 minutes, another would pop up."

Here are some real solicitations from married men:

"To be honest, I am not looking to leave my wife but I do miss having a sexual connection in my life. My wife completely lost her sex drive since birth of our child. I love to please women and I'm very generous in bed. Plus I'll always respect your boundaries."

• "I love to have sex but my wife and I don't do it nearly enough. I'm looking for someone who can meet up once or twice a week. We don't always have to go to a hotel, we can just enjoy each others' company...I'm a very social guy, and I love meeting new people. I've got a strong sexual appetite, and I typically will go for an hour or more. Not trying to brag, but I really do like to savor the experience. Sex is always best when you're keeping it interesting and I consider myself very adventurous in the bedroom. If all this sounds interesting to you, let's get to know each other!"

"I'm your typical executive who is looking for something more. I value trust, honesty, and above all, discretion. I am hoping to find married women who have no desire to leave their husbands but just want to add some fun to their life. I love an intelligent and opinionated woman...If you are interested in having an open, trusting and ongoing affair, then please feel free to write me. Thanks for your time."

We spoke to Noel Biderman, the 37-year-old aforementioned married father of two and Chief Operating Officer of Ashley Madison, on the state of marriage today and why he created such a controversial service.

Find out if this married Ashley Madison founder and father of two is a cheater as well.

next: Stand Up to Cancer
147 comments so far | Post a comment now
Dana September 5, 2008, 9:56 PM

I’m a woman who uses this site and is considering an affair. As some of the other comments said, either use it or don’t.

caddy September 5, 2008, 9:58 PM

my husband of 20 years came out and told me he didn’t love me or wanted to be married anylonger..well we are still together and he has a girlfriend..i stay true, why i must be crazy..and we have no sex..i could never cheat on him..divorce, never till death do us long as he is happy…

donna  September 5, 2008, 10:00 PM

this article makes me sick … i thnk cheaters are the scum of the earth. if u kno ur a cheating dirtbag, u shouldnt be getting married. and if your spouse is cheating on you and u kno about it, and u stay with them regardless, ur a friggin moron.

margie September 5, 2008, 10:00 PM

What a laugh!!!!! I caught my husband cheating via private eye, consequently divorce, and he regrets it to this day.

dope September 5, 2008, 10:00 PM

bottom line…if u need an internet site to cheat which u shouldnt be doing or get any type of sex you are a LOSER!!! GET A LIFE!!

Dr Dave September 5, 2008, 10:01 PM

These are just some of the things that primates, specifically apes, do.

Jeffrey H, Baer September 5, 2008, 10:13 PM

Can cheating save your marriage? Hmm…I think Charlie Sheen, Alex Rodriguez and Eliot Spitzer might have a perspective on that…

Cheri September 5, 2008, 10:15 PM

A site where you can cheat?? My husband and I have been together for 22 years. We have rarely had sex in 5 1/2 years. He says he just isn’t a sexual person. He thinks he has E.D. but refuses to do anything about it. That’s what he tells me anyway. He never touches me, rarely kisses me. He says he doesn’t even masturbate. I feel like I just have a roommate even though I sleep naked next to him every night. Sure I’m still doing his wash, cooking meals, professing my undying lust for him. I talk about all the ‘dirty’ things I’d like to do to him. I know he’s not having an affair because he’s always home with me. He’s says he’s not gay (I’ve asked him many times). He never was very ‘hot’ (although he’s hot looking) but we were always great friends. We still are but boy do I miss getting laid. He says he doesn’t live for sex the way I do. I don’t think doing it a least once a week (although I’d like it 5 times a week) is asking to much. I can’t tell you how hot I still am with nowhere to go. I have to take care of myself but that doesn’t cut it all the time. I am attractive, have a good paying job and workout so yeah, I get plenty of offers and that just makes it tougher not to cheat. I don’t want to lose my best friend but a girl can only take so much rejection from the man she loves. I am so torn. I just want my husband to do me like he used to. It’s harder everyday not too cheat. It’s not like I’m getting any younger. Hell, I got laid more when I was single. P.S. I would never knowingly do a married men. I just don’t like hurting people. HELP!!

rob September 5, 2008, 10:16 PM

how do i JOIN?????????????????????????

Jeff September 5, 2008, 10:17 PM

This is the biggest scam out there. You ,might pay one fee to log on but you have to pay for credits or minutes to chat with someone, who probably works there and takes you money.

amanda September 5, 2008, 10:23 PM

i heard about this web site a while ago…and i think it is absolutely disgusting, and dispicable…what the hell happened to morality, and the sanctity of marriage (or any committed relationship for that matter)?? it seems like a bunch of low lives and scum bags who take part in this “dating service”…fine people will cheat anyway with or without this site, but you must be a real POS to make it easy for people to cheat…and make them feel like its ok to cheat…for god’s sakes, if you are that unhappy in your marriage just leave…for yourself and for your spouse…and for your children if you have any…
God help you all

Mimi September 5, 2008, 10:23 PM

Although, I am in a “committed” unhappy relationship. I would sign up, but I would not want to get with another committed or married guy….

Bob September 5, 2008, 10:30 PM

You would be surprised at the people doing this are socalled Christians. Those are the people that are going to stand before God and try to explain why His words were no good to them. Remember GOD DESTROYED thousands of people for breaking The TEN COMMANDMENTS, especially the that said THO SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.

Dawn September 5, 2008, 10:32 PM

just look at Craig’s list - all the married men are on there. same thing.

Gary September 5, 2008, 10:33 PM

Oh get a life you whiners. Look I’m married to a great woman and love her to death. She has lost her sexual appetite and sex drive. I on the other still have a strong one. She understands that and allows me to do it. She knows when I do it but doesnt ask for details and it’s not a daily ordeal. That is what love means. She wants me to be happy 100% and this does that for me. If spouse didn’t lose their sex drives the cheating would diminish by roughly 80%!!!!!!!!!!!

K-Renee September 5, 2008, 10:37 PM

I sure can relate to your story,
maybe we should start our own website.
Wives that need a real man again!

Cheri September 5, 2008, 10:38 PM

Gee Gary, it’s nice that your wife still lets you ‘do it’ to her to keep you happy but what’s a girl to do when her husband is limp and she can’t even convince him to use a strap on or perform oral sex on her? Must be nice to be a guy. I know people think women have all the control but not when it comes to a guy who’s limp all the time. Seems to me he has all the control then.

Bob September 5, 2008, 10:41 PM

My wife got hurt a year ago and she can’t have sex anymore. I have always had a very very strong sex drive but because of the love I have for her I don’t cheat and no I don’t look at other women wishing I could get in bed with them. Not Bragging but that is waht a man is. The rest are men that don’t know what true love is.

TK September 5, 2008, 10:45 PM

I foud this site and others at

Cheri September 5, 2008, 11:02 PM

I hear that sister!

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