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Can Cheating Save Your Marriage?

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Absolutely, says the founder of an online service that helps people commit adultery.

noel biderman ceo ashley madison silhouette click to reaveal

There's a controversial Web site out there called Ashley Madison that's essentially a matchmaking service for cheaters. Its slogan? "Life is short, have an affair." To date, it has 2,490,000 members and counting. And it was created by--get this--a married father of two.

Here's how it works: Anyone can log on to the site and for a one-time fee of $49, users create a private profile to send e-mails, chat and wink--much like a mainstream dating service. The only difference is that the so-called daters are all married. Because, according to the owners, cheating is "a serious and emotional decision," there is no recurring monthly fee, and users can come and go as they please. When the credit card arrives, Ashley Madison is labeled as an innocuous charge. Says one momlogic staffer: "I signed up to see if guys would really respond--and queries from married men were flooding my inbox within 30 minutes. And they didn't stop coming--every 20 minutes, another would pop up."

Here are some real solicitations from married men:

"To be honest, I am not looking to leave my wife but I do miss having a sexual connection in my life. My wife completely lost her sex drive since birth of our child. I love to please women and I'm very generous in bed. Plus I'll always respect your boundaries."

• "I love to have sex but my wife and I don't do it nearly enough. I'm looking for someone who can meet up once or twice a week. We don't always have to go to a hotel, we can just enjoy each others' company...I'm a very social guy, and I love meeting new people. I've got a strong sexual appetite, and I typically will go for an hour or more. Not trying to brag, but I really do like to savor the experience. Sex is always best when you're keeping it interesting and I consider myself very adventurous in the bedroom. If all this sounds interesting to you, let's get to know each other!"

"I'm your typical executive who is looking for something more. I value trust, honesty, and above all, discretion. I am hoping to find married women who have no desire to leave their husbands but just want to add some fun to their life. I love an intelligent and opinionated woman...If you are interested in having an open, trusting and ongoing affair, then please feel free to write me. Thanks for your time."

We spoke to Noel Biderman, the 37-year-old aforementioned married father of two and Chief Operating Officer of Ashley Madison, on the state of marriage today and why he created such a controversial service.

Find out if this married Ashley Madison founder and father of two is a cheater as well.


next: Stand Up to Cancer
147 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous September 5, 2008, 11:08 PM

Its people like this man Madison that is a real problem in our society. You have to be real synical and narcassistic to go about this type of practice. This article is really disturbing.

Wizard September 5, 2008, 11:12 PM

Cheating is a purely selfish act. If u really loved someone, then u would deny your own lustful desires and consider how cheating would affect your significant other. Love is not selfish. Afterall, love is about giving, not recieving.

Seems like some people have gotten married to people they don’t truely love?


Angela and John September 5, 2008, 11:17 PM

How about those so called cheaters just be honest with thier spouses and say they would like to have a open marriage and become swingers….did wonders for our marriage

Esther September 5, 2008, 11:20 PM

That is Bs…..morals of a snake …Cheating is wrong get the divorce & than go have sex geeze grow up !!!!!!

Esther September 5, 2008, 11:20 PM

That is Bs…..morals of a snake …Cheating is wrong get the divorce & than go have sex geeze grow up !!!!!!

George September 5, 2008, 11:24 PM


Sounds like the pina colada song waiting to happen……

John September 5, 2008, 11:32 PM

Gee, for 49 BUCKS, they should send you
all the rubbers you need for these
affairs to stay STD free nowadays !

Gary September 5, 2008, 11:33 PM

When Iw as married, we both “cheated” om each other and it was fun! Getting ousidfe what we soudnt get at home was exiciting!

sparky September 5, 2008, 11:40 PM

If married guys use this site, then what are they married for?

Carl September 5, 2008, 11:40 PM

What is the website???
I would like to give it a try… My wife is not a sexual person and it’s hard..


cory September 5, 2008, 11:41 PM

this depends on many issues.. it is possible to work honesty is key

Tom September 5, 2008, 11:42 PM

I am married but sepperated would love to enjoy sex with a woman between 50 to 60 years of age.No strings just some relaxing sex.Can be adventurest in the bedroom

cory September 5, 2008, 11:46 PM

freedom is paramount,, also knowing what the heck is going on… true honesty is vital

ardis September 5, 2008, 11:55 PM

Cheaters might not want to devastate their spouses or put their health at risk—they just DON’T care enough not to. Sooner or later that resonates in a marriage. Husbands who don’t rate their wives the respect of “trust and honesty” aren’t worth the time of day.

anonymous September 5, 2008, 11:58 PM

in my opinion, this isnt a terrible thing. i myself have been the cheater and the victim of it and honestly, its never about an emotional connection, but the physical act. one must acknowledge that certain acts are not necessarily acceptable for one you love and respect. in all instances (in personal experience) the general act is meaningless yet nonetheless gratifying and then over with. there are many people out there that do choose to involve themselves in this sort of behavior and their relationships are stronger for it. dont get me wrong, honesty ( yes) is a huge part of it. it is only wrong when you are not completely honest and open about this behavior with your partner then it is not the sneaky underhanded decietful thing we term cheating.

Sexkitty September 6, 2008, 12:03 AM

Cheating is fun…PS you dont need this site to do it..just go out..lol

Sally September 6, 2008, 12:06 AM

to respond to “Jack,” who thought that if a married woman would “take care of business in the bedroom” then her husband wouldn’t cheat - it is so not about that! Some couples have a great sex life, but cheating is about the thrill, the newness, being with someone who doesn’t really know you (and all your faults), pretending to be someone you’re not and being with someone who constantly pumps up you ego by telling you how great you are (even if they are lies to get your money or whatever). It’s all about the selfish ego and putting yourself first. It may have NOTHING to do with what is going on at home. And, as you women who have been with married men know, most of the time, the man doesn’t leave the wife because he knows she’s too good for him and he is the one doing wrong. It’s not her problem, it’s his low self esteem and insecurities driving him out to prove something to himself.

torblee September 6, 2008, 12:28 AM

maria on September 5, 2008 9:56 PM wrote:

come on people really sex is sex love is love, it all comes from one of two places; love or fear. When humans stop seeing themselves as seperate from one another(love),then intimacy(sex)will be equally shared by all. This whole idea of cheating all comes from a place of fear and once people consider their fellow humans as part of themselves and accept that WE ARE ALL ONE then ALL THERE IS IS LOVE.

Geez, you almost New Age babbled me into cheating. I think the fact is, we are so insecure and scared in this crappy world that we want to show how powerful we are by conquering all the nookie we can.

David September 6, 2008, 12:29 AM

Just stop for a minute! Take deep breath and let it out real slow and think about his actions. $49 and over 2 million subscribers already… that’s like $98,000,000.00 plus and counting!!!!!!!!!! It wouldn’t suprise me if he was also selling everyone’s email address’s to boot! He and his wife I’m sure are very happily married, traveling the world, living the life we all wish we could. It’s a shame, but humans are just humans; it takes 100 million of them to make the world go around. And the wheels on the bus never stop turning. I agree with maria on September 5, 2008 9:56 PM. Smart Idea! Think I’ll start one for $39.95…lol!!! As it’s been said time after time, build it, they will come.

VLW September 6, 2008, 12:33 AM

Doesn’t anyone believe in Satan and Going To Hell anymore? Well I know that there are 2 million+ just from this site on their way!!!!


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