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PiscesCan Cheating Save Your Marriage? Confessions
Riff, 45, married 22 years, father of three  "When I proposed to my wife, I knew I couldn't stay faithful. But I loved her--still do--and I wanted to build a life and family with her. I had always cheated during our courtship and nothing changed when we got married, except I was a lot more careful--that's why I joined this Web site. "My wife doesn't suspect anything. If she did, she'd be upset, but she wouldn't divorce me. We have kids together and way too much history to split over infidelity. Besides, our sex life is good and we get along really well. Sometimes I wish she'd cheat because it would relieve me of the guilt I feel from time to time. I'm not happy I behave this way, but I just can't resist the temptation. "Every man would cheat given the opportunity--lots of my married friends do. But it's not with the obvious stripper; it's with the co-worker or female friend. That said, I would choose my wife over any other woman in the world. I'm not looking for something better--just some variety. "If I could change, I would, but I know I can't stop cheating. I always pay in cash so there's no record of money spent--using credit cards is the first mistake cheaters make. And I never use my home computer to talk to women. You can't prevent your husband from cheating, so in the end you have to forgive him. There's more to marriage than just a sexual connection." |
Chris, 40, married 10 years, father of two  "I never thought I'd cheat. I fantasized about my wife all the time--no other woman even entered my mind. I only felt like having an affair after we had been married for about six years. I guess, as I grew older, I just became attracted to other women, plus it didn't help that more and more women were noticing me. So I started to think, 'Maybe I can do this.' "As far as I know, my wife doesn't suspect I am cheating. When I work late, she makes a comment about seeing 'my girlfriend,' but I believe she's joking. I feel guilty most of the time. And although I tell myself I won't do it again, that urge to cheat always kicks in. But it's not always sexual, often times I just need to feel someone wants me. I think men want to be faithful, but we have a need for sexual activity that women can't understand. Sure, it's sex but it's the feeling that someone else desires you. "How many people can honestly say after years of marriage that they still want each other? The bottom line is, if you don't want your husband to cheat, ask him what he desires and be willing to try it. Also, communication goes both ways--there is no bigger turn-on than when a woman tells her husband to try something new. Trust me when I say he'll be game." |
Mark, 41, married 17 years, father of three  "I never thought I'd stay faithful, even when I married my wife, because all men cheat. If a woman thinks otherwise, she is naïve. In fact, I can't imagine not cheating. My wife suspects I've strayed because she knows exactly whom she married. However, I try not to put my affairs in her face. I do feel guilty sometimes, but not as much as I used to. "As I get older, I come to know myself more, and I realize my limitations. I want to stay married because we have a teenager together. However, when she goes to college, I may consider divorce. I've never caught my wife cheating, but both people take that risk when they get married. "I love my wife and I truly don't care about these other women--it's just sex. So I always make sure to erase my voicemails, cheat in remote locations and I never tell my friends anything." |
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