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It's YOUR Fault Your Man is Checking Me Out

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It's your own damn fault that your husband is looking at me. Here's why he's ogling me -- and not you.

man looking at woman

MILFmommy: Catch your man eyeing another chick when you're walking down the street? Well, hello. I'm the girl he's looking at. Although I can understand this may piss you off (I'd be pissed too), I have to be honest -- I like it.

First of all, I'm a mom and I work damn hard to look this good. I work out like crazy, I still fit into my skinny jeans, I never go out without mascara -- simply, I take pride in the fact that I am a woman! Second, when your man is looking at me it makes my guy want me even more ... love that. It's like a dog marking his territory and, frankly, it's nice to feel wanted. Third, by you not taking care of yourself, you're actually boosting my self-esteem in the process -- so thank you! Not that I needed a reminder, but it feels good to know I've still got it going on.

Honestly, it's really your own fault your man's checking me out -- you're the one who has let yourself go. I understand the baby weight thing, but that was four years ago ... and P.S.? you sound like a broken record. Get on the treadmill, DO something! Those cheap, old, ill-fitting mom jeans may have saved you some money, but they're not doing anything to save your sex life. Get some jeans that hug your curves so your man can see your booty. 

And while we're on the subject, what are you wearing under your jeans? Take a peek. If your panties are more than a year old, they're likely to have holes (and other stuff) in them. 

If you absolutely INSIST on wearing sweatpants (yuck) don't wear your husband's -- they add 5 lbs. to your already out of shape body. Get a pair of cute ones, or at least some that fit. 

Oh, and I can't believe I actually have to say this because it's just so obvious, but for God's sake SHAVE (legs, underarms, bikini)! The "I haven't shaved in two weeks" isn't cute, it's gross. Nobody wants to go down there with a machete.

The bottom line -- if you don't want him staring at me, make him stare at YOU!



next: Time For a Hand Job, Ladies
64 comments so far | Post a comment now
bree September 25, 2008, 1:00 PM

i am seriously going to do this—i mean, if i can do something to make my man fall in love with me again, or to be attracted to me again, i’ll try it. i’m totally guilty of the sweatpants/hair in a bun-i wouldn’t want to sleep with me either! it sucks to be honest, but if it’s the only thing that will save this marriage i’m willing to do what it takes. And i think a large part of married people don’t have the life they used to unfortunately.

Ida September 25, 2008, 1:39 PM

Whoa, sistah! I thought this was a forum where women are supposed to support each other? I mean, we mothers have it pretty hard enough already! She brings up totally valid points; like her, I work out, watch what I eat, and take care of myself…but geez, couldn’t you think of a better way of saying stuff? And hey, if you need to make other people feel bad to feel good about yourself, that already says a lot!

kiki September 25, 2008, 2:12 PM

It doesn’t matter what we look like. My husband looked at other women before I had kids and my body was tight. I look at other men. My husband doesn’t mind. It’s like that look don’t touch policy

It’s human nature for us to look at others. And it only bothers us if we are insecure about ourselves.

shanna September 25, 2008, 2:40 PM

100% agree with this!! Right on MILF mommy!

Anonymous September 25, 2008, 2:44 PM

agree to an extent

johnna September 25, 2008, 4:22 PM

AGREE AGREE AGREE!

Charles Orlando September 25, 2008, 4:48 PM

I’m a little perplexed. MILFmommy, the posting’s author, has it in her head that because she “works out like crazy” and that other mothers/wives have “let themselves go”, that men ogling her is not only normal, it’s to be expected. She goes on to place full blame on the “out-of -shape woman” for the entire situation… and that is where I have issue.

Did I miss the memo that states women need to be built like Victoria’s Secret models, and men can slip into a fashion coma without consequence?

I posted a response to this on my blog… love to engage in a conversation.

me September 25, 2008, 5:34 PM

Chances are if the woman has let herself go then the man has too! Yes, mommies should take care of themselves too, not just our hubbies and our kids (it’s easy to get lost in our duties) but lets do it for OURSELVES!

candace September 25, 2008, 7:34 PM

“It’s like claiming the territory…”???
Um, YUCK. I think it has everything to do w/insecurity. She (and a lot of others) might sound like they have great self-esteem, but people w/confidence aren’t constantly taking inventory of who’s paying attn. to them - they don’t need that reassurance to feel good abt. themselves, they know they have it goin on.

Men look, women look. Sexuality and attraction are very individualized, despite what the media wants us to believe. I am in my mid-40’s, have 2 grown kids, never smoked, don’t drink, take care of myself, on the curvy side - and I look good. I’d be considered plus-sized if I was a model. I’ve never had “work” done, and don’t intend to, at this point.

Men of all ages flirt w/me, I flirt, I know I’m sexy and pretty, and, yes, it’s a high, but it does not define me. As for my mate? Yes, he’s proud of me - we are proud of one another and feel secure in our hot, monogamous r’ship (of 20 yrs.).

We’ve dealt w/almost every hard thing a marriage could have, and always come out shining and in love, not b/c we look great or have great sex but b/c we love, admire and respect one another and feel this r’ship is always worth more than anything that can detract from it.

I hate seeing women getting suckered into believing that it’s the superficial things that define us and that we have to be on the prowl or minimize ourselves to survive. It’s sad that MILFMommy defines herself as milf and believes its her panties and her lack of underarm hair that set her above the average wife/mother. It’s sad that any woman would settle for so little.



Christi  September 26, 2008, 7:39 AM

You know, it’s nice buying all of these things, but when you start to buy you are stealing from your own children, instead of buying yourself panties, buy them a book! I don’t spend a lot of money on looks because that was what I did before I was married and had kids, now that I have children I would rather put $60 in their college fund than spend it on a pair of jeans, I would rather put $250 into a interest bearing savings account than waste it on a gym, that’s all fine and dandy that you are so superficial you feel the need to steal from your children to make yourself look better, but my self worth is determined by how well my children are taken care of, not by how well my coochie is shaved!

just another housewife... September 26, 2008, 8:48 AM

I don’t think MILFmommy is trying to hurt anyone but to get some to open their eyes. I’ve known women who looked really good while they were dating their man but once they got married they would just let themselves go, no makeup, stringy hair, and alot of extra weight. It’s like some think well I got him now so it doesn’t matter anymore, you know? One even told me once that since having her baby, 1 baby, she didn’t have time to put on makeup or anything. I have 4 kids and still make the time for myself. I don’t get all made up 7 days a week but I do like to a few days, especially on weekends when my husband is home, I like to go all out and look good for him so he doesn’t forget what he has. I mean face it, men are visual creatures, so wouldn’t you rather him look at you than someone else? And doesn’t it make you feel good when someone gives you that extra glance because you look good? It’s nothing wrong with trying to look good.
If some who were offended by what she wrote, take the time to look back at photos when you were dating and marriage photos, you might could understand what she wrote better, as if the question is “what happened to that woman?”, the one who wouldn’t be caught dead without makeup, a good hairstyle, good looking clothes in front of her boyfriend or all others for that matter. The bottom line is that women get so caught up in housework, raising kids, and doing for others we forget who we are or were. And we lose ourselves and our identity. And we get to the point of saying…who cares how we look? Well we should, not just for our husbands, but for ourselves too.
Well I’m off to take a hot bath, shave my legs and get all fixed up for my husband…I’ve been looking like crap all week. I even have some new lingerie and heels to wear for him tonight!


WooHooo September 26, 2008, 8:57 AM

Alrighty,how materialistic is this woman and not ALL men think like she seems to think she believes,lol!
My husband would just soon see me in teeshirts and jeans with NO make-up or my hair fancy and thinks women who “have” to put herself together is a very fake type woman.He is an outdoorsman and I am an outdoorswoman
:-).When I put makeup on or wear a dressy shirt and pants,he thinks I am prettying myself for someone else…ha ha! I tell him,you know,I like feeling a bit feminine once in awhile and your not going to tell me how to dress.Yes,I wear sexy under-garments (even camo things,he he) As far as wearing all that base crap make-up..it makes my skin crawl and feels like my pores can’t breath.Eye liner,mascara are good and the look of my own natural beautiful skin is the way I like it.All that expensive,Mary Kay,etc..makes my skin break out and thats just reasoning that its God’s way of being yourself!:-)I don’t have to spend hours in the bathroom or have to use a curling iron,etc to make my hair beautiful either,its long and I can pull it up or do many things with it. I bet this woman doesn’t look the same if she was to not wear makeup or use all that hair junk,lol.
Also,if this woman asks ANY Psychologist if this was normal for men to “look” she will find it IS.She’s living in a bubble thats easily popped..ha ha!

treasure_77 September 26, 2008, 9:01 AM

PATHETIC!!! Truly sad how desperate you are for attention. I know my husband looks at other women just like other men look at me and guess what b*tch your man looks at other women too. Its quite funny how you think the world revolves around you.
My husband thinks the sexiest thing is a woman who has confidence but doesn’t try to make others feel bad about themselves by trying to boost their own stock and brag about themselves. Its just trashy for you to talk like that about other women. You have no idea what kind of lives these women have. If you are trying to advise women to take care of themselves there are better ways to do it. You are probably a sad lonely person who needs constant validation to feel good about themselves. How far will you go for attention? If your husband can’t give you enough do you go else where? I’m guessing yes. If I were you I’d take a look inside instead of staring at your reflection in the mirror. Don’t forget beauty is fleeting and soon you will be aged and your man won’t look at you the same way …lol. Can’t wait for that wake up call. Inner beauty is so much more important then outer. I bet men are looking at you because of the way you project yourself and make men think they have a chance to get some on the side. I pray you don’t have any daughters and if you do please wake up and teach them what is truly important in life.

Teresa DeRubeis-Schaefer September 26, 2008, 9:04 AM

This sounds like a man wrote it.

Anonymous September 26, 2008, 10:26 AM

Seriously?!?!? Why are we always making excuses for men??? If they respect you enough, they won’t be checking out other women. I’m human as well, but I respect my husband enough not to check out other men…it’s a two way street and it’s about love and respect. Not about how quickly you got back into your pre-baby jeans or if he’s not in the same shape as when you got married. It takes a real man to respect his wife and understand that her body has gone through hell and back while giving birth to his children. It’s not too much to ask to have a husband who loves you for you…and the way you look…no matter what size. I should know…I am married to one!


anonymous September 26, 2008, 10:38 AM

I disagree it’s women’s fault their husbands look at other women and even cheat. Their are lots of beautiful women out there whose husbands go after other women (ex. Mark Anthony left his wife for Jennifer Lopez but that doesn’t mean Dayanara Lopez was not taking care of herself at that time). Some men are just natural Jerks.

Anonymous September 26, 2008, 11:26 AM

Seriously?!?!? Why are we always making excuses for men??? If they respect you enough, they won’t be checking out other women. I’m human as well, but I respect my husband enough not to check out other men…it’s a two way street and it’s about love and respect. Not about how quickly you got back into your pre-baby jeans or if he’s not in the same shape as when you got married. It takes a real man to respect his wife and understand that her body has gone through hell and back while giving birth to his children. It’s not too much to ask to have a husband who loves you for you…and the way you look…no matter what size. I should know…I am married to one!


Jackie September 26, 2008, 11:35 AM

Seriously?!?!? Why are we always making excuses for men??? If they respect you enough, they won’t be checking out other women. I’m human as well, but I respect my husband enough not to check out other men…it’s a two way street and it’s about love and respect. Not about how quickly you got back into your pre-baby jeans or if he’s not in the same shape as when you got married. It takes a real man to respect his wife and understand that her body has gone through hell and back while giving birth to his children. It’s not too much to ask to have a husband who loves you for you…and the way you look…no matter what size. I should know…I am married to one!


anonymous September 26, 2008, 12:53 PM

another rant my milfmom bragging about how fabulous she looks.

well guess what - so do I, but I don’t put other women down to make myself look better.

Too bad your self esteem is based on what other people (or, men, rather) think of you.

My advice? Find a hobby that makes you feel good about yourself - something other than “look at all the men who want me”.

Leslie September 26, 2008, 1:40 PM

OK, I am not a fan of MILF mommy. She says SOME of the right things FOR the wrong reasons. It is important for us to look good, as good as we can, because it shows we care about ourselves. It shows self-respect, self-appreciation. What’s with all of us (me included) who put everyone, and I mean everyone, in front our needs. We are so worth the equal time and attention that we give to others. Now that doesn’t mean others should be giving us that time and attention back. It means that we should be taking out the time and attention and giving it to ourselves. It’s not selfish. It’s self nurturing.
I’m a MILF, not the MILF that this woman is. I’m a bit curvy, have a little extra to love, haven’t lost all the baby weight, BUT I take time to exercise and take care of myself. Do I leave the house without mascara? Yeah, sometimes. I learned after giving my entire life and being over to everyone that I was cheating myself and no one was going to give me the time and attention back to take care of me. The only one who could take care of me is me.
I’ve been there. Colicky babies, never getting out of my bathrobe. It would not have killed my sons if I had taken a quick shower, gotten dressed and thrown on a 5 minute makeup routine. I’ve spent money on clothes for everyone else and not bought myself anything nice. I looked like crap, even when I did lose the baby weight. I looked like I had no self-respect, and who the heck was going to respect me. People may have felt sorry for me, but pity is a far cry from respect.
Everyone looks at a women who loves herself, but more importantly, that woman loves herself and her own looks and body, no matter what the shape. Remember the Maya Angelou poem, Magnificent Woman….


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