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Girl Talk Can Be Dangerous

Thursday, September 18, 2008
filed under: family

Experts say the more your teen talks on the phone, the more prone she is to depression. Find out why --- and how you can prevent it.

Mother and daughter talking with each other

If you have a teenage daughter, it's safe to say she spends hours on the phone. And if she's not on the phone, she's texting. Or emailing. And the conversation may go something like this: Why didn't he call? Are you sure I should wear that? What do you think?

Sure, you're glad your kid has solid friendships, but all this chatting has experts concerned time spent dishing with girlfriends may cause emotional problems, including anxiety and depression.

How? For starters, what starts out as seeking a pal's opinion can quickly escalate if the advice doesn't suffice. So your teen may seek out other people's opinions, and unintentionally heighten the problem. And from an anthropological P.O.V., women hold onto negativity longer than men (chalk it up to a survival instinct), so she may more easily ruminate on the bad.

But what's considered "unhealthy" chatting? There's sharing secrets and ideas (good) and there's rehashing issues, thereby dwelling on negativity (not so good). And since girls are more prone to depression than boys, this puts them at a dangerous risk.

How do you make sure your teen's talk doesn't spiral? 

"It's important to encourage your daughter to vent to her friends; otherwise bottling up her emotions could lead to more frustration," says momlogic fmarriage and family therapist Shannon Fox. "The key is to limit the time she spends analyzing." Here's how:

Cultivate her passions: Chances are, your kid has more interests than talking on the phone. Encourage her to develop hobbies and talents that make her feel good (like endorphin-inducing sports). The higher her self-esteem, the less likely she'll go to her pals for every little thing.

Limit her electronics: If you take away her phone time, your kid may resort to text messaging and emailing, which can reap similar anxiety-inducing effects. So put a cork on the time she spends communicating with pals, at least during the week.

Maximize your time together: Simply put, the more you make yourself available to your kid, the less she'll feel the need to reach outward. And according to Fox, time spent in the car is golden. Whether you're driving her to school or just running errands together, she'll open up more when quality time seems natural, not forced.



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filed under: family

2 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

 
I totally agree with this. I have just banned the phone from my oldest (I already began this about ten days ago with my middle). I have taken the xbox out of the house and have limited the computer. The changes that I’ve noticed, CALM, they are calmer(especially my son)..there’s conversations, we have family movie night, (we last watched Au Revoir Les Enfants). I did feel bad at first, as I’m up against basically everyone I know telling me I’m wrong to take away video games, phone privileges and such, but I finally had enough and have stuck to my guns and regardless if they (the kids) like it or not, I have noticed changes and hey, I’m the mom, so I get to rule.
- cara
Posted 09/18/08 10:21 AM
 
I totally agree with this article, I can remember the problems I would stress over as a teen and now that I see teen interact now, I can certainly see how they drag their problems out just to have something to talk about.
- Ashley Designer Bags
Posted 09/18/08 06:34 PM
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