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Kids Can Be Awful People

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Guest Blogger Pam Heilman, on what she really thinks of kids of tease a child with special needs.

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Kids can be s***heads and I have a perfect example.  My son has cystic fibrosis. For those of you have never heard of it, it is a genetic condition that affects all areas of the body which secrete mucous; sinuses, pancreas, sweat, liver, reproductive organs, and especially lungs. Lung damage in CF is what leads to an early death. The median age for life expectancy is 38 and that means that half of the people who have it don't make it to 38 and half make it and can even live well beyond 38.

My son is 13 and unaware of the whole story with CF. He knows he takes medicine, a lot of different medicines mind you, including pills every time he eats and daily breathing treatments and other things too. But he has never really been sick and has not had his life interrupted in anyway so he just carries on like every other teenager he knows. Unfortunately, and this is where the kids can be sh**heads comes in, one boy got the information from an older sibling that CF was fatal and decided to tell my son's best friend that my son was going to die at 21.

Obviously young people are interested in drama but it just strikes me as strange how much children enjoy hurting each other. I started to think about the misconception that children are born good and that society or poor parenting or abuse causes the child to behave poorly. I'm just not buying it. How many times have you seen perfectly normal young children (your own in fact) act out and suddenly bite or hit or toss a block at another person's head? I'm quite sure a hungry baby would gladly rip your head off to get milk, they simply aren't that coordinated.

Good parenting actually prevents children from violence and cruelty while extremely bad parenting enhances the cruelty until we have deviants like sociopaths etc... I am now extremely aware when my kids are purposefully attempting to humiliate or just plain old make another child feel bad, and I call them on it. I challenge each of you take a good hard look at junior and you might just see that I'm not off the mark. Then comes the hard part, changing it. But truly aren't there enough sh**heads in the world without yours adding to the ranks.


next: Miley: Please Retire!
6 comments so far | Post a comment now
Susan September 22, 2008, 10:46 PM

Amen! I have a severely disabled 13 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. My son gets super ticked off when people use the word retard in place of the word stupid. Wow does he get ticked. But he insists she is at every school function, comes to every class party … he is not ashamed and he says that he hopes by meeting his sister some of the other kids will grow up a little. And it’s not just kids! Those hateful little brats get it straight from their hateful selfish parents who shudder at the notion of a special needs child. I used to dress my daughter in a shirt that read “Yeah, I feel sorry for you too … maybe you’ll get lucky one day and they’ll find a cure for a***oleitis!”

cara September 23, 2008, 12:21 AM

Letting your kids feel that the are unaccountable at any age is just wrong. It seems to me that too many spoil their kids too much. Not only with things but in not checking them on their behavoir. I, one time upset my son, I told him he was acting like a real as*&le, well he was. He was 9. I said, ” let me ask you something, are there kids in your class that you feel behave like as&*les?” To which he said, “yes”…but more like, duh, of course. So I said, “well what makes you exempt?” Nothing, of course. It’s our job as parents to raise these kids to have compassion, to have the balls to stand up to other’s who bully the weak, to be leaders and not followers. (hello, Lucifer effect) In order to do that, we need to squash this bad behavior, nip it in the bud from the beginning, or else we are not doing our job. Whether they are the cool kids, or popular is not what’s important, it’s how they treat other’s that makes their value.

I think it’s horrible what that child did to your son and someone needs to set him straight, Sam Kinison style.

R.C. September 23, 2008, 1:59 AM

Susan I like your daughters shirt!!! and i admire your son for insisting she be at every school function, I can tell he really loves her and cares about her. Sometimes just sometimes kids make fun of what they do not understand are that their afraid of. This does not always come from bad parenting. And Cara you are right we do need leaders and not followers so i encourage all moms and dads who’s children are mentally challenged or has a birth impairment to speak up at school functions,social are neighborhood get togethers and educate not only other parents but young adolesants as well. Maybe if more of us did that and set an example before others we might just change the way some people think are feel. I am very pleased with both of you and your children. Keep up the good work.!!!

Donna September 23, 2008, 7:52 AM

As far as kids being bad and having bad attitudes..
Well, let’s look at the parent! Most of the time when you see a a..hole kid then you can see an a..hole parent!!
Kids learn by watching. Remember when your kids first started to talk? They said everything you did!!! (did they not?) Well there you go….BAD PARENTING EQUALS BAD KIDS! CHILDREN ARE NOT BORN BAD THEY ARE MADE BAD!!!!!!
GOD BLESS THE LITTLE CHILDREN WHO HAVE TO ENDURE THE PRESSURE OF A BULLY OR A A..HOLE KID WHO DID NOT GET THE PROPER DIRECTION IN THEIR LIVES. We learn to be better people by the things we can endure. We work with A..holes and we live with them and they will never go away but with PRAYER MAYBE THEY CAN BE CHANGED!

Veronica September 25, 2008, 9:17 PM

I agree with you. Some parent can be in front of there kid when there saying mean stuff to other kids and won’t say anything. I have a daughter with Autism and I wonder if some one will do the same. In school I was always going after people who made other people bad for one reason and another. Now I feel at peace that I alway help those who couldn’t. I would have felt like crap if I didn’t now that I have a doughter with Autism.

KittyCat January 14, 2009, 10:17 AM

I am blessed with a healthy 10 year old. However, the kids in her class are very mean and love to make fun of her for answering questions during class. They call her teachers pet and any time she raises her hand teasing follows. These kids are only 9 and 10 and already putting so much peer pressure on my kid she doesn’t want to participate in class or turn in her homework on time (she’s one of the only ones that does).


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