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Hey, Honey, I'm Going to a Strip Club!

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With recent pictures surfacing of Michael Phelps touching a playmate in Vegas, we started thinking: How would we feel if our guys did that?

Michael Phelps inside a strip club

It's an age-old tradition: A guy goes to watch another woman take her clothes off and dance around a pole. Though we realize Phelps is a single, 22-year-old guy with a great pick-up line ("Hey, wanna look at my eight gold medals?"), the strip club issue got our office buzzing. Would you let your guy go to a strip club and, if so, how would you feel about it? Our answers were completely divided. Some moms frankly felt relieved someone else was taking care of their man for a few hours. For others, the thought of another woman on their man made them ill.

Here's what some of us had to say:

  • "I am confident that my man isn't leaving me for a stripper. Discouraging them really encourages them to rebel. In fact, at his own bachelor party I gave him permission to do whatever he wanted. He was excited for months but when it came down to it he 'wasn't able' to do anything."
  • "I wouldn't mind if my husband went to a strip club, but my husband would probably not want to go anyway. Ironically, I'd have to talk him into going. He's only been to one strip club in his life and apparently found it a sad, dismal experience -- maybe he didn't go to a good one?"
  • "In almost two decades of marriage, this has never come up with my man! I've been to Chippendales, mind you, but that isn't the same, is it? If he were invited, I actually think it'd be fun for him to go ... I'd be OK with it ..."
  • "I don't love the idea, to be completely honest. Of course I am not going to tell him not to go, but the visual of him getting a lap dance or getting turned on by another woman kind of makes me ill. Someone grinding on my man? No thanks. I'm OK with him looking, but please don't touch my man, you gnarly bee-yatch (whoops)."
  • "I have no problem with my man going to a strip club. If another woman wants to dance in front of him naked -- by all means, go for it. That just means I won't have to do it later! As long as he is coming home to me, I'm fine with it."
  • "I trust him -- it's not off limits. He loves me and we are faithful to one another. Having fun with single guy friends or him going to a strip club for a bachelor party is just that -- fun with the guys."
  • "No guy wants to be the only one who can't go because his girlfriend/wife won't allow him -- otherwise his friends will tease him relentlessly. It's not cheating, in my opinion. But no, I'm not crazy about someone dancing all up on my guy."

What would you do if your man was going to a strip club?

next: Divorcee: A Social Outcast
27 comments so far | Post a comment now
Sandra September 8, 2008, 5:34 PM

I was never thrilled about it but many men do it and hopefully get it out of their systems eventually.

As far as “letting” them go,that’s probably part of the reason they do it. Rebellion & they won’t all run home and tell you where they have been.

Renee September 8, 2008, 5:38 PM

Maybe this “free” attitude is what is wrong with marriage and why there is soooo much divorce? If a man cannot respect his wife and not worry about being teased by his friends? What is this high school? Sow your oats before you get married and think about what your marriage vows were. You can’t be happily married unless a strange woman is rubbing her nasty stuff on you and 50 other men? If my husband were to spend our money there instead of investing the money for our son I would be pissed. It is a BIG waste of money. If you have to, rent a video for God sake.

Natalie September 8, 2008, 6:30 PM

Well, I have no problem with it. I’d even happily go with my husband! I think that if you have no trust in your marriage, then there’s nothing there. If I can’t trust my husband around other women, then why am I married to him? I understand that for some people it’s a moral thing, but for the rest of us, it’s no big deal.

jackie September 8, 2008, 6:53 PM

I completely agree with Renee-i think it’s in very poor taste actually. I think it is disrespectful to the woman you love, and it’s just juvenile. Just because “all men do it” doesn’t mean your man has to. I am all for getting sexed up in the bedroom, going to a stripclub and especially a bachelor party is just backwards. Is marriage that bad that you need to rebel before you do it? I think it’s such an old school way of thinking..
If the guy wants to go I think he’s making a poor choice. and if the guy can’t stand up to his friends about his morals, that’s just as bad.

Dionna September 8, 2008, 9:23 PM

To me, if my husband went to a strip club it would be the same thing as him being unfaithful to me. Being faithful and pure to me means not just being loyal with your body, but also with your eyes and your hands. And most importantly, with his thought life.

I want my husband visualizing ME, thinking of ME, remembering ME, and touching ME. Not someone else.

Marriage is a sacred union. That goes both ways and I hold myself to the same standards. I want our marriage to last - strip clubs for married men (or any man for that matter) is just dynamite in my opinion that will lead to future and deeper problems.

Jenny September 8, 2008, 10:58 PM

Well put Jackie, Renee and Dionna, I couldnt have said it better myself!

Maureen September 9, 2008, 7:52 AM

My husband knows how it would make me feel if he went-sad, undesirable, truly upset. So no, I don’t think he would go.
I think a marriage is meant for 2 people. NOT 2 people plus a few others thrown in the mix to make it interesting. His eyes are meant for me, mine for him. I know that people look, but why put yourself in a situation where you can’t help but look? It IS a form of cheating.

pixie September 9, 2008, 8:16 AM

I have rules if he goes. He only goes for bachelor parties but he can not tip or have a lap dance. If he’s going to be putting dollors down someones g-string, it best be mine!!

Linney5680 September 9, 2008, 9:53 AM

first, i would NEVER tell my husband “NO” he is not going. just like he wouldn’t tell me “NO” i couldn’t do something. you just “i’d rather you not go” anyhow…i wouldn’t want him to go either….just the thought of someone else rubbing on or trying to turn on my man makes me sick to my stomach, just as it would him if it were the other way around. but if other couples are okay with it, more power to them.

ame i. September 9, 2008, 10:07 AM

Heh, I don’t freakin’ think so!
I would NOT have married a man who still felt the need or desire to go to a strip club. No married man has any business putting dollar bills into the g-string of a stripper, I don’t care how much money he makes. Very few households make “too much” money these days. That dollar is much better spent elsewhere or saved.
My late husband never went to strip clubs. My current husband was a bachelor until we married when he was 46. He had plenty of time for that kind of crap before he became my husband and the step-father to my daughters.

Allison September 9, 2008, 3:20 PM

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, I would be pissed if he went behind my back, it makes me nervous with bachelor parties as well. I just wouldn’t want my daugther to find out his dad went to a strip club, I want her to know her father respects women.

The Cat's Meow September 9, 2008, 4:30 PM

This is disgusting! I would never accept my husband doing something like this and I agree with a few others here. It is the SAME thing as cheating. The mind, body, and soul are impacted by pornography and not just with the one partaking. It is cheating, betrayal, and degrading of marriage, women, and men! We all need to recognize the danger of the lie in society and that satan’s throne is on earth. Revelations 2:14-15; Numbers 22-25; Revelations 2:16 Are we accepting that which is against God’s standards? A season of all going well may be God’s patience, not God’s blessings. Revelations 2:21-23

mysteryman September 9, 2008, 4:32 PM

I remember the first time I told me now X-wife that she could not go to the Cornet Club in Atlanta where male and female entertainers dance 100% naked. She replied, “what am I your property? WHo the Hell do you think you are telling me I cannot go?!?”

Life is a two way street so its all fair in love and war!

I have been invited by women to go to a Gentlemens Club while living in Dallas Texas. It was an interesting date. As it was explaiend to me she did not have to worry about another guy hitting on her while with me at a Gentlmens club because its all about being entertained and not about picking up on women.

If a man wants to go to a Strip Club/Gentlmens Club then let him go. Most likely nothing is going to happen unless you got problems with your marriage and are not willing to deal with that problem.

You have to remember the dancers/entertainers are there to make money, not go ut on dates with guys who want the fantasy to continue. Because the job is to create a fantasy, “sell the Sizzle, not the steak!”

Does it ever happen that a guy gets a date with a stripper, of course it does just like a guy gets a date with a women at a coffee shop who served him coffee and a piece of pie. Get real its life.

Oh an Phelps was not even in a strip club he was in the Playboy Club at the Palms which the dancers do not take off there clothes nor do table dances, its nothing more then a Nightclub. So once again the media is wrong and misleading.

Irene September 9, 2008, 10:42 PM

I went looking for my husband one night and found him in one of those places.I also think of it as cheating.I was leaving him already.My 16yr.old daughter and 23 yr old daughter were with me.They said to teach him a lesson .I left the house for 2 days and stayed at my daughters.And when I get angry I waste alot of money.I took $200.00 from him and wasted it.I prefer using it instead of those trashy whores.

Jas September 12, 2008, 12:16 PM

I have no problem letting my man go to a strip club. It’s not like he’s going to sleep with one of the dancers. He is going to come home to me.
But there is a higher chance of me going with him than of him going alone. I have no problem looking at naked women. It’s entertainment, that’s all.

Ck1 September 12, 2008, 5:01 PM

My first husband loved going to strip clubs. He was a cheater. Always found phone numbers in his pockets, strange women called the house, etc. He is now married to the “last” affair he had when married to ME. God help her. HaHa!! My second husband, who thinks strip clubs are for single people, is a loving faithful man. We’ve been married nine happy years. If you’ve got a guy that likes going to strip clubs and can’t respect the fact that you don’t like it, then he AIN’T WORTH STAYING WITH. Trust me, I know.

Be Realistic September 17, 2008, 5:49 PM

Most of you are living a fantasy land and are just plain unrealistic. If you tell your husband he can’t go to a strip club, you’re asking for disaster. You’re essentially telling him that you don’t trust him and showing him no respect. You either trust him or you don’t. Most of you are likely just insecure.

A man who is going to cheat is going to do it whether you “allow” him to go to a strip club or not.

My wife and I have a wonderful marriage based on us having complete trust in one another. She has no problem with me going to strip clubs because she knows I am faithful to her. She also has been with me to several different strip clubs when we leave town and thoroughly enjoys herself. The dancers love us because there are is no insecurity/jealousy.

We’ve been married over 12 years, have three kids and couldn’t be happier.

Jen September 18, 2008, 10:30 AM

The people who are saying “I know he comes home to me” or “every guy goes to strip clubs” or “it’s just entertainment” are worrying me. These are people who just eat up whatever the media throws at them, sex is entertainment and vice versa and nothing else. Seriously? I could never even think of a strip club and not want to be sick. It’s pure exploit. For him to go to a place like this or for me to go is an exploitive of our commit to our relationship. My husband knows and respects this and feels the same way. He’s never been to a strip club, and like me, does not have the desire to. We don’t believe that it’s a “relief” to have “someone else take care of” the other. That’s just pitiful, that you are tired of your mate and want him to go to a strip club so you don’t have to be naked in front of him. It’s not normal, no matter how many people want us to believe it, to go to strip clubs. It cheapens everything.

Robyn September 26, 2008, 6:50 PM

I say sure, go with them its alot of fun and you get first hand insight of what turns on your man which can be very useful later. As long as its a decent strip club and they don’t have any “back alley” things going on.

annie September 28, 2008, 10:19 PM

My name is annie and i am a producer with a national morning show. i am working on a segment on this topic and i am looking for guests..
Does your significant other go to strip clubs? Do you go to strip clubs with your bf/husband? Or have no problem with him going on his own? Maybe every big argument you have is over strip clubs… Whatever your point of view, we want to hear from you- a national morning show is looking for people on both sides of the issue who are passionate either way!

This segment is for Wednesday, Oct 1. The show will cover travel to NYC.


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