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Hey, Honey, I'm Going to a Strip Club!

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With recent pictures surfacing of Michael Phelps touching a playmate in Vegas, we started thinking: How would we feel if our guys did that?

Michael Phelps inside a strip club

It's an age-old tradition: A guy goes to watch another woman take her clothes off and dance around a pole. Though we realize Phelps is a single, 22-year-old guy with a great pick-up line ("Hey, wanna look at my eight gold medals?"), the strip club issue got our office buzzing. Would you let your guy go to a strip club and, if so, how would you feel about it? Our answers were completely divided. Some moms frankly felt relieved someone else was taking care of their man for a few hours. For others, the thought of another woman on their man made them ill.

Here's what some of us had to say:

  • "I am confident that my man isn't leaving me for a stripper. Discouraging them really encourages them to rebel. In fact, at his own bachelor party I gave him permission to do whatever he wanted. He was excited for months but when it came down to it he 'wasn't able' to do anything."
  • "I wouldn't mind if my husband went to a strip club, but my husband would probably not want to go anyway. Ironically, I'd have to talk him into going. He's only been to one strip club in his life and apparently found it a sad, dismal experience -- maybe he didn't go to a good one?"
  • "In almost two decades of marriage, this has never come up with my man! I've been to Chippendales, mind you, but that isn't the same, is it? If he were invited, I actually think it'd be fun for him to go ... I'd be OK with it ..."
  • "I don't love the idea, to be completely honest. Of course I am not going to tell him not to go, but the visual of him getting a lap dance or getting turned on by another woman kind of makes me ill. Someone grinding on my man? No thanks. I'm OK with him looking, but please don't touch my man, you gnarly bee-yatch (whoops)."
  • "I have no problem with my man going to a strip club. If another woman wants to dance in front of him naked -- by all means, go for it. That just means I won't have to do it later! As long as he is coming home to me, I'm fine with it."
  • "I trust him -- it's not off limits. He loves me and we are faithful to one another. Having fun with single guy friends or him going to a strip club for a bachelor party is just that -- fun with the guys."
  • "No guy wants to be the only one who can't go because his girlfriend/wife won't allow him -- otherwise his friends will tease him relentlessly. It's not cheating, in my opinion. But no, I'm not crazy about someone dancing all up on my guy."

What would you do if your man was going to a strip club?

next: Divorcee: A Social Outcast
27 comments so far | Post a comment now
Pamela October 1, 2008, 1:46 PM

During the beginning of my former marriage my spouse would head out to the strip clubs once a month or so with the guys from work to “unwind” and shoot pool. I naively thought he would not join in since he had a beautiful, young, sexy wife at home. I didn’t want to be a prude or a nag and felt I could trust him. Of course being in a “wolf pack” changes a mans intentions and when I stumbled upon photos of my ex and his friends manhandling the star attraction (ms. lot of boobies…or something to that exent) well I felt foolish and worse realized I married a man that could be led into tipping the fine line of trust by his peers influence. Going to a strip club is not about a womans trust or not being labled a nag (or other lovely adjectives), its about a man being lost in the moment (a kid in a candy store) that will never admit to any wrongdoing (since afterall he loves his wife & would never want to hurt her) but for me, it should be the man being a man and saying that he’ll meet up with his guys after they leave the club or goes home before they venture there. Why risk losing the trust and respect of your wife for a momentary ego boost that you’re paying for about a nice round of golf instead :-)

summerhill ga January 8, 2009, 3:12 AM

you may not ever know if your partner visits an adult entertainment club..entertainment, not a date.

huntedhunter March 6, 2009, 3:36 PM

From the article I found a real big flaw in it. The comments from “some of us” mostly say “they” accept the fact that they allow their guys to go to strip clubs. In statistics this is really biased as it discourages women who have different opinions to express themselves (those who think their guys should NOT go to strip clubs), and encourages women who have the same opinion to express freely without fear of exclusion or harassments. This article is pathetic.

Sheila-ArmyWife April 2, 2009, 3:25 PM

I know my husband would not go. He has is own stripper at home…that’s me, his wife…lol.
I think it’s to each is own. If a wife does not mind her husband/BF going that’s their provocative. What ever helps them to sleep at night.
I would not want my Husband going anyway, because that’s MY shopping money and bill money he would be out spending on chicks.
I was a single mom for 12 yrs til I met my now husband of 8yrs Before we met, I used to be one of those girls(not stripping but I worked at a Lingerie Bar and I know how guys get.
I say keep the fire burning at home, role play with your husband. It’s fun and it’s between you and your husband, no one else and if he wants to pretend he’s at a strip bar, then let him put $100.00 bills in YOUR panties.

MarcomMom April 30, 2009, 2:20 PM

Just found this link seven months after the topic was hot. Sorry—not telling anyone else to do and I don’t tell my husband what he can and can’t do—but this kind of objectification of people as sex objects is disgusting. We all participate to some degree in making sex a huge, huge part of our culture and in turning ourselves into objects of attraction to get our kicks from admiration, but personally I just find male and female strip clubs degrading and sad.

Cathy May 8, 2009, 10:20 AM

Me and my boyfiend have been together for seven years and we have a daughter together we comunicate well and are totally in love with eachother we never fight about anything and spend alot of time together talking about theway we feel about things and this is what I have told him before: the topic of him or me for that matter has never come up, But I would be jeolous if he did deside to go and probably just because I’m insecure about the way I look and feel about myself and our sex life is not what I would like it to be I think thats what is most womens problems with strip clubs there own insecurities, I would never tell him no he would never tell me no, and I would also have rules as well as pixie, absolutely no touching lap dances or tips and only to go for a bachelor party or birthday party to have ”fun with the boys”. As for worrying that a stripper is going to steel my man I do beleive just like mysteryman they are there to make money at least most of them and that stealing our men is not there intentions, they make dates just like anyone else would they meet someone in a public place. And I do not think that a strip club can be classified as cheating either not unless your man is grabbing at the women and making comments to the women face to face. All men look at other women it is human nature, And all women look at other men, they don’t have to be good looking, all people notice other people good attractive or not your gonna glance. and everyone is going to have there own opionions and I will say that I respect everyones on here.

Christine December 29, 2009, 6:06 AM

I don’t know what all this talk of “As long as he comes home to me” has anything to do with commitment. My SO and I discussed limits and agreed after some time that it is perfectly acceptable for a man to go to a strip club with naked breasts, no touching, and only for special occasions. We came to this conclusion because I told him if he goes to a club for his party where the girls get completely nude, for my party I am going to an amateur night and taking my clothes off on stage for money and for “the last hurrah” of it. He wasn’t accepting of this scenario and so he understood how I felt about the nasty full nude whorehouses. Give them a scenario that they won’t like and watch how fast they recant, the whole thing is disrespectful, and honestly you weren’t single since we got together, there’s really no need for strippers having sex with each other in front of men, but it being ok, because we HAVE to be ok with it. It’s a double standard that should have been trashed a long time ago.

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