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Married Women Hate Sex

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Sexless marriage: Millions of moms are in one, yet it's taboo to talk about it. Momlogic asked 2,500 married women to reveal the dirty details about their sex lives after marriage and we were shocked by what we found--half found sex to be a depressing, embarrassing or a hassle! PLUS: Three moms and a deprived husband share their stories of sexless marriage. AND: Expert advice for spicing up your relationship.


The most eye-opening findings:

50% of women find sex either depressing, embarrassing or a hassle: We also found out that although 77% of the women claim their sex life is somewhat to very important to them, 54% of married women admit they're the ones who don't want to have sex.

According to 29% of married women, they're just too tired:Not too surprising--at least to those of us with young kids-- that this was the main reason women say they don't want to have sex.

What would women rather do than have sex?
• 24% would rather take a bubble bath.
• 26% would rather read a book.

Also, according to our survey:
• 23% of the women who have sex do it because they love their husbands and want to make him happy.
• 49% of the women have sex because they want it.
• 26% of the women surveyed say their sex lives took a turn for the worst after they had children.

Even momogic contributor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Shannon Fox was surprised by the results of our survey. "It is sad to see that half of the women polled described their sex lives as depressing, embarrassing or a hassle. That is a lot of unhappy women! That means that even the women who are having sex more often aren't happy with the quality of the sex they are having."

But on the flip side, although things look bleak when it comes to married sex, Shannon Fox says, "77% say of the women say that their sex life is important. I've found that the husbands in sexless marriages are often shocked to discover that their wives think sex is important. Spouses in sexless marriages often feel neglected and that their desires are unimportant to their mates."

Shannon Fox adds, "It is not surprising to see that the frequency of sex decreased for many couples after the birth of their first child. Many women report less opportunity for sex, dislike for their post-baby bodies and sheer exhaustion as the main killers of their sex lives after children."

According to statistics, living in a sexless marriage is VERY common; however, for some reason, it is still one of the most taboo subjects around. But we found three moms who invited us into their homes (and marriages) and shared their own experiences of being in a sexless marriage. And it's not all what you'd think...

A deprived husband turns to momlogic to help save his sexless marriage. Keep reading for the complete interview.

Check out our gallery and spice up your life life with an aphrodisiac.
1 | 2 | 3

next: It's Official: Lap Dances and Kids Don't Mix
191 comments so far | Post a comment now
Gina T August 13, 2008, 1:42 AM

Ladies…all you who complain about no sex from your husband. Sit down by yourself and think. Is he messing around? Is he at least affectionate with you? If the answer is, yes and no, then if you’re stuck in the marriage, you go right ahead. No law says that you can’t have good, great sex. Just pick a guy like some of these (I almost said getting stiffed, LOL!) who love their wives too, so there’s no temptation on either part to break up an otherwise perfectly good marriage. That’s how they do it in France, and most of Europe as well. Divorce figures are very low over there, because the people are happy to keep their marriage contract alive for the sake of kids, family, etc—and because it’s totally understood that in each marriage, there is usually one person who wants sex more than the other, and there’s no reason why she can’t have it as long as she’s discreet and pays attention to her husband (on those rare occasions when he wants to, LOL!) because killing a marriage is hell on the kids, and lack of sex is so not a reason to divorce, not when there’s so many needy and cute people out there! There should be no such thing as a sex-starved wife or a sex-starved husband, and with a little bit of care, all can be happy!

Bob August 13, 2008, 1:52 AM

Sex which is spontaneous with few inhibitions is usually forbidden fruit which means neither party is looking for commitment only the gratification.Marriage changes the concept as it makes the sex a part of normal accepted behaviour in the minds of both men and women.It becomes a job and the spontaneous combustion is gone then as neither is seducing the other only going through the motions associated with marriage.Familiarity creates complacenty if you are not careful and that leads to seeking what your imagination and exuberance of youth told you was the ultimate thrill.

fred August 13, 2008, 2:17 AM

its been so long sence i had sex, i forgot who ties up who.

cathy August 13, 2008, 2:21 AM

Yes it is ok to do it for your partner once in awhile.. even if you don’t want to for what ever shows your love, that is what marriage is about and there are reasons it is called ‘making love’ some time you have to ‘make’ it for it to happen

Disappointed August 13, 2008, 2:21 AM

These comments give me no hope.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years now, in which sex has only recently been involved (few times). We always talk about marriage and how great the future will be, and this is just depressing.
I just hope that sex won’t be the determining factor of our marriage and that he will need to find some OTHER woman to satisfy his “needs.” The woman and the man are both at fault here, they just need to figure out how to make each other happy.
God, it’s so sad. :(

ellie  August 13, 2008, 2:32 AM

Seriously, why is it the woman that has to practically change her frame of mind in order to be satisfied in her marriage. Last I checked, marriage was a partnership and both parties should work just as hard to reach any goal. I think there are many women out there that are tired, stressed, and under-appreciated. I think that if these are the issues preventing a woman from pursuing or even desiring sex the man in the relationship should take note and do things that will ease her life a bit. Also, like someone said it is such a huge turn off when your husband just grabs your boob or butt. To me, that just reminds me of someone else wanting something from me. It does not INSPIRE me to want sex.
Now what should one do if your husband doesn’t want sex? Does that give me the right to “roam?”

Chase August 13, 2008, 2:46 AM

Men need to blow a load on a daily basis!

Carol August 13, 2008, 2:51 AM

In my opinion, men love nothing better than oral sex. A well timed blow job gets you most anything you want and if he feels deprived, nothing is sexier than a woman who loves to do this for her man. BTW - we have 5 children and 5 grandchilden between us and have been together 12 years.

Calla August 13, 2008, 2:56 AM

After 25+ years of catering to HIS needs, I’ve decided I’m sick of it. The guy still has sex like he is in the back seat of a car. He has never given me an orgasm and doesn’t give one whit about MY needs. It’s all about him…typical type A, self absorbed workaholic. No amount of communication has given the guy a clue. Believe me, I have tried everything. I love sex. Just not with him. I’m the one trying to change it up and keep it exciting. It’s always the same old same old. So I’ve cut him off…and I don’t feel the least bit bad about it. You can only give for so long and pretty soon there’s nothing even left of you.
It may be until death do you part…but until then I intend to keep having a fabulous intimate relationship with my right hand because real intimacy is something he can’t seem to grasp….not even for me.

Carol August 13, 2008, 3:03 AM

A well timed blow job can cure a multiple of problems. I very rarely have trouble getting my husband to help out since he knows a treat is waiting for him later. Works for us after 5 kids and 5 grandkids!

liam August 13, 2008, 4:00 AM

Polly Amory - what the hell did you get married for in the first place if you’re just going to carry on shagging around when you are married!!!??? I am a married man, and there is no way on this planet that I could accept the fact that my wife’s sleeping around and that i am doing the same, you should be ashamed of yourselves for breaking your vows, in fact you’re nothing more than a little slag, the pair of you. Marriage is a commitment between2 people to stay with one another and not to go shagging around with whoever, if you feel that it’s ok, then I wish you all the best in you life ‘together’, but if I found that my wife was cheating, I’d be out the door faster than you could blink!!

Jennifer August 13, 2008, 4:14 AM

I’m a 51 year old lady who has had several medical issues in the past decade. Although I’m in pain most of the time, I find that even if my husband and I don’t have intercourse, I get great satisfaction giving him oral sex. Needless to say, he loves it as well. It’s so important to feel the closeness. We also snuggle a lot. Hey it works for us.

Anonymous August 13, 2008, 4:17 AM

women just dont get it! For every woman that has a headache there are 2 that have a bottle of aspirin!

Dennis August 13, 2008, 5:27 AM

Been married 42 years now and its way too late to get sex back into our mariage now. After the first child, my wife really got 100% occupied with our daughter… and completely let herself and me go. At first I joked about the lack of intimacy and was ignored. Then I complained more loudly about celebancy and was told to quit being a sex fiend so I burried myself in my work and tried to believe it would get better later. Then the second child came along and she really went totally cold and grew even heavier. That is the point when I should have left to start over, but I couldn’t leave the young family then, Plus, I always thought that when the kids got older, she would become my lover again. Well, twenty five years of celebancy and it only got worse with each passing year. I firmly believe that a marriage with no sex and intimacy is just a shell of loveless cohabitation. Sex is the glue that not only holds marriage together, but also makes it better and stronger with each application. So I would say to any young couple just starting out, that if any signs of a sexless marriage surface, you had better rectify it right then and there… or walk away then, cause it ain’t gonna get any better later…. only worse, and it may be too late to start over then to find a happy marriage.

long dong silver August 13, 2008, 5:41 AM

how about some of these fat whiney women lose 5-10 or 70 lbs. ? and they wonder why their hubby’s don’t want sex with them….they’re unattractive , and can’t see that….

Anonymous August 13, 2008, 5:44 AM

men forget about romance its give me some or feel your boobsnot sharing or talking or sharing

Nikki August 13, 2008, 5:56 AM

I have been married for thirteen years and have six children.It may be difficult but my husband and I make time at least three to four times a week.If you try new things or places it isn’t boring and make sure you both get what you need.Our sex life slowed down after kids but never would we let it go.Keep your husbands or wives happy and yourselves and nobody will want to stray

Debbie August 13, 2008, 5:59 AM

Marital sex is not a job, it’s an adventure ! Communicate with each other to find out the problem and be honest. If it takes wearing a sheep’s costume and hanging from the chandelier, DO IT !Pre-sex “soft porn” is an awesome way to begin……..go out and buy “9 1/2 Weeks” with Kim Bassinger and Mickey Rourke. Good luck ladies !

Christi August 13, 2008, 6:05 AM

Married Women Hate Sex


Tuesday, August 12, 2008
filed under: momlogic investigates

Investigates WHAT? Stick to baby names and coupons, you obviously know nothing about marriage!

brenda August 13, 2008, 8:46 AM

you dont wanna take the time to have sex kids is just an excuse i have three kids all 4 and under and my husband works three jobs and we have sex almost everyday

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