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Married Women Hate Sex

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Sexless marriage: Millions of moms are in one, yet it's taboo to talk about it. Momlogic asked 2,500 married women to reveal the dirty details about their sex lives after marriage and we were shocked by what we found--half found sex to be a depressing, embarrassing or a hassle! PLUS: Three moms and a deprived husband share their stories of sexless marriage. AND: Expert advice for spicing up your relationship.

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The most eye-opening findings:

50% of women find sex either depressing, embarrassing or a hassle: We also found out that although 77% of the women claim their sex life is somewhat to very important to them, 54% of married women admit they're the ones who don't want to have sex.

According to 29% of married women, they're just too tired:Not too surprising--at least to those of us with young kids-- that this was the main reason women say they don't want to have sex.

What would women rather do than have sex?
• 24% would rather take a bubble bath.
• 26% would rather read a book.

Also, according to our survey:
• 23% of the women who have sex do it because they love their husbands and want to make him happy.
• 49% of the women have sex because they want it.
• 26% of the women surveyed say their sex lives took a turn for the worst after they had children.

Even momogic contributor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Shannon Fox was surprised by the results of our survey. "It is sad to see that half of the women polled described their sex lives as depressing, embarrassing or a hassle. That is a lot of unhappy women! That means that even the women who are having sex more often aren't happy with the quality of the sex they are having."

But on the flip side, although things look bleak when it comes to married sex, Shannon Fox says, "77% say of the women say that their sex life is important. I've found that the husbands in sexless marriages are often shocked to discover that their wives think sex is important. Spouses in sexless marriages often feel neglected and that their desires are unimportant to their mates."

Shannon Fox adds, "It is not surprising to see that the frequency of sex decreased for many couples after the birth of their first child. Many women report less opportunity for sex, dislike for their post-baby bodies and sheer exhaustion as the main killers of their sex lives after children."

According to statistics, living in a sexless marriage is VERY common; however, for some reason, it is still one of the most taboo subjects around. But we found three moms who invited us into their homes (and marriages) and shared their own experiences of being in a sexless marriage. And it's not all what you'd think...

A deprived husband turns to momlogic to help save his sexless marriage. Keep reading for the complete interview.

Check out our gallery and spice up your life life with an aphrodisiac.
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next: It's Official: Lap Dances and Kids Don't Mix
191 comments so far | Post a comment now
M September 5, 2008, 10:41 PM

I’m very attracted to my husband. I love him very much and I want to have sex with him as much as possible, but unfortunately, I don’t. Why? Because he makes me do things that are degrading, disrespectful, and uncomfortable psychologically. I am not shy or embarassed, but he forces me to please him in ways that I wouldn’t dare to mention here. When it comes to pleasing me, he doesn’t want to hear about it and tells me its not lady-like when I ask him to please me. Instead, I should be begging to please him. He doesn’t kiss me, he doesn’t touch me, he has never pleased me orally. I have to do all the work. I cry every day because I’m perplexed and hurt. Everytime I bring this up, we get into an argument.

Yeah September 5, 2008, 10:57 PM

How can a woman be too tired for sex. Obviously a tired excuse cuz all u gotta do is let the man pump away while u lay there.

Wat? Too tired to have an orgasm?

The result of the will put u in some much needed sleep, seems to me they’re a little selfish

Kdawg September 6, 2008, 3:20 AM

WOw this is a whole lot of propaganda…men have higher sex drives than woman?? That’s what they keep telling us, but…bs. My sex drive is through the roof..going without it for months due to his deployment has been driving me insane…I have not cheated on him, though I have had strong moments of temptation…even a few of the women on this video clip came across, to me, as if they were acting…I don’t really care if they are or not…women do everything these days…supermoms, expected to work and clean and bear and raise children and still look sexy and stunning and well, honestly, sex and dressing up is the fun part…but I feel that these days, men have it easier and are so spoiled..and NO I do NOT believe the lies and the cliches fed to us…that men’s sex drives are higher than women’s…”Boys will be boys” etc, etc…so that I’m not being a liar, I will elaborate…I did “cheat” on him 2 previous times in our marriage, and he found out and I told him about it…we later reconciled, but I meant that I have not cheated during his deployment, nor have I cheated since we have reconciled…it is not ok, what I did, I’m not saying that, but however wrong it was, there was a reason I did it. Yes, I know there is reported science of biolgy supporting that men’s sex drives are higher, as in the hormone testosterone which men have much more of than women…but scientist don’t know everything and there are not only direct actions/responses of hormones, but hormones which affect other hormones to amount to an overall effect, moreover there are other reasons for sex as well, such as emotional reasons, etc. well, when he comes back, hopefully I’ll be getting busy instead of posting a long paragraph on one of these subjects, at 1220am…

bill September 6, 2008, 3:26 AM

This is not meant as an excuse or an incentive, but only as an observation—a truism: Someone who does not take responsibility for his or her spouse’s sexual gratification will eventually lose control over it.

I have never understood how sex with one’s chosen partner could be so intolerable that one would instead choose the risk of divorce or adultery.

cleo September 6, 2008, 6:14 PM

Wow there are a lot of unhappy men and women out there. I can’t imagine my marriage without sex at least once a week. Excuses about being too tired or too embarrassed is just pathetic. Even an occasional b.j. makes my husband happy and I’m 9 months pregnant. Sex is part of being married. Sex also is natural and no one who is married should be ashamed to have it…

John858 September 7, 2008, 9:17 PM

Very nice site!

John1245 September 7, 2008, 9:18 PM

Very nice site!

CK1 September 8, 2008, 4:45 PM

Polly Are you serious? What is the point in being married if you are cheating on your husband? You are committing adultery and that is wrong. Sorry, but there is no excuse for cheating on your husband. If you don’t want to be in a one on one relationship with your so called husband then get a friggin’ divorce. You are not in LOVE with him. When you LOVE someone you are totally devoted to them. GET REAL POLLY! If that works for you to cheat on your husband that’s great for you but don’t tell other people to do it. That’s not right! Thou shall not commit adultery…does that ring a bell…probably not, right?

Anonymous September 9, 2008, 11:28 AM

JAN I WISH WE CAN TRAD PLASES

DEBBIE September 10, 2008, 12:04 PM

After 25 years together, we can’t get enough of each other! My husband and I make it our business to get together. We are always intimate, hugging and kissing each other, especially when we greet each other. Our kids often tell us to “get a room”. We tell our kids we prefer hugs and kisses to punches!

The Dude September 10, 2008, 3:43 PM

Sex stopped after we had kids. Yeah, it happens, enough blame on both partners. Don’t get depressed, check out this website and have some laughs:-)

www.nothavingsex.com

Amanda  September 10, 2008, 9:39 PM

I think that there is such as stereotype that the women in a marriage loses their sex drive after a while but in actuality I think the men stop trying to please the women (like the little things here and there) which would stimulate her to want to be more sexual. With work, kids, sports ect ect you need a little something here and there to say I love u, your beautiful, your sexy whatever for both sides. It is very common for women especially to lose theirselves in their kids lives or the monotony of everyday life all together. Light some candles, bring out the lotion, high heels, dirty movies whatever it takes. Personally my husband and I have no problems there and fortunately have a wonderful sex life but we also have a wonderful relationship. I am not saying it’s always easy and no issues but sometimes a little fighting is good cause after is the make up sex and we ALL know how good that is. But the bottom line is you have to finesse your woman or your man…work at it. With a little effort you would be surprised how aroused you will make each other.

Christie September 12, 2008, 12:57 PM

As a mother, I get tired too, but 95% of the time, I can muster up energy to have sex with my husband. Are there actually women out there who don’t want to? After a big fight I will not, but if we are getting along , why not??? :)

Ingmar Buttlepumper September 12, 2008, 7:21 PM

60% of women polled are unhappy with their sex lives.

Key phrase: women polled.

That’s why they’re on this site, they aren’t getting laid.

Amanda  September 14, 2008, 8:22 PM

Hey Ingmar looks like your not getting laid either!! It doesn’t take all day although some of you men like to think so

von September 15, 2008, 2:34 PM

After reading the article and comments I’m even more thankful that I’m not married.

Sherrie September 18, 2008, 1:39 PM

I know from my life the reason that sex has no interest for me at all is that I am no longer me I am mom or slave. I work my butt off all day long cleaning, doing errands, grocery shopping, laundry, filling out paperwork for school, helping out at school, running kids to activities and on and on and on. My husband works, but he gets to talk to adults, he gets to go to lunch, he gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. He does not help around the house, he does not pay attention to the kids, if I do something once a year with a friend, it is a big production and I owe him big time. I see the same thing happening with 90% of my friends. The husbands say when the kids are moved out then it is their time to go and have fun. So why in the world would we even want to have sex with them??!! Us mom’s feel like slaves and butt wipers and any sexual desire has been flushed down the toilet. When my sex drive went away I tried everything to get it back. Turns out my testosterone level is like 5%, way too low. So I can use a cream, but it makes you angry and there is a change I could grow a small penis. I have tried herbal meidcations, but nothing works. Now do the men do anything to help the situation? Hell no, they go on doing the same stuff they always have. Coming home from working parking their butt on the couch or the computer thinking they are single. Forgetting they have kids. Maybe if husbands helped out and gave us breaks then maybe the sex drive would come back. As far as I know that will not happen until pigs fly. So you men that keep saying just do it and make us happy, how about YOU GUYS HELP OUT AND MAKE US HAPPY FIRST AND MAYBE WE WILL WANT YOU AGAIN.

katyschmidt September 23, 2008, 5:48 AM

dontbe dumb this si a totally untrue article. i am married and sex is a priority above everything except caring for the children and comes way before housework. i have a young child too who is only 7 months and only stopped having sex for 2 weeks after birth.

one of my friends was pregnant again accidently at the 6 week check up after childbirth as she couldnt wait for sex she is also married.

My mum and dad even have loads of sex (even though its not something i like to think about lol! and my mum has a bigger collection of sextoys and porn than me. they have been together 40 years. i ahve never met a married woman that doesnt love sex we obviously must be completely different in England, American woman sound like a bunch of prudes!

katyschmidt September 23, 2008, 5:51 AM

dontbe dumb this si a totally untrue article. i am married and sex is a priority above everything except caring for the children and comes way before housework. i have a young child too who is only 7 months and only stopped having sex for 2 weeks after birth.

one of my friends was pregnant again accidently at the 6 week check up after childbirth as she couldnt wait for sex she is also married.

My mum and dad even have loads of sex (even though its not something i like to think about lol! and my mum has a bigger collection of sextoys and porn than me. they have been together 40 years. i ahve never met a married woman that doesnt love sex we obviously must be completely different in England, American woman sound like a bunch of prudes!

Clifford Frelix October 6, 2008, 9:14 AM

My wife and I have ben marred for 15y we have ones Son togither she had one of here own and I have to from a prevues marriage. At fist we made Love may by 2 to thee time a week and if we mist out on doing it she wood make up for it. some times we wood do it so much I wood be sore and after a year or to it stop. now she do’s a lot for the family and she is the one how makes most on the money in are family and she is tiered most of the time so I fill that I don’t try to be to pushy a bout sex I try to watt until she is ready to have sex but she never is so than I get more more over wlemd with wonting it. sex some time I think a bout going out and getting sex elsewhere but I don’t; I fill what that writhe that wont held I don’t wont sex just to have it. I wont sex with my wife for love and I think she is so beautiful. I think she get tiered of me telling her how beautiful I think she is. But when we go to bed all she dose is rovoler to here side of the bed as like I’m not there. I cane see her not wonting to coddle some times but not all the time and its ben like that for about 11y now. I wont to talk to here about this but she as away of turning it a round on me like its all my fault. And may be some of it is and I don’t mind atmeting, But she as to take some of the blame on here self to so we can work it out it’s not just me its booth of us. I wont to stay with my wife for ever but some time I don’t for The Lake of sex we have I need it moor Than One’s ever other Month.


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