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Married Women Hate Sex

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Sexless marriage: Millions of moms are in one, yet it's taboo to talk about it. Momlogic asked 2,500 married women to reveal the dirty details about their sex lives after marriage and we were shocked by what we found--half found sex to be a depressing, embarrassing or a hassle! PLUS: Three moms and a deprived husband share their stories of sexless marriage. AND: Expert advice for spicing up your relationship.

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The most eye-opening findings:

50% of women find sex either depressing, embarrassing or a hassle: We also found out that although 77% of the women claim their sex life is somewhat to very important to them, 54% of married women admit they're the ones who don't want to have sex.

According to 29% of married women, they're just too tired:Not too surprising--at least to those of us with young kids-- that this was the main reason women say they don't want to have sex.

What would women rather do than have sex?
• 24% would rather take a bubble bath.
• 26% would rather read a book.

Also, according to our survey:
• 23% of the women who have sex do it because they love their husbands and want to make him happy.
• 49% of the women have sex because they want it.
• 26% of the women surveyed say their sex lives took a turn for the worst after they had children.

Even momogic contributor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Shannon Fox was surprised by the results of our survey. "It is sad to see that half of the women polled described their sex lives as depressing, embarrassing or a hassle. That is a lot of unhappy women! That means that even the women who are having sex more often aren't happy with the quality of the sex they are having."

But on the flip side, although things look bleak when it comes to married sex, Shannon Fox says, "77% say of the women say that their sex life is important. I've found that the husbands in sexless marriages are often shocked to discover that their wives think sex is important. Spouses in sexless marriages often feel neglected and that their desires are unimportant to their mates."

Shannon Fox adds, "It is not surprising to see that the frequency of sex decreased for many couples after the birth of their first child. Many women report less opportunity for sex, dislike for their post-baby bodies and sheer exhaustion as the main killers of their sex lives after children."

According to statistics, living in a sexless marriage is VERY common; however, for some reason, it is still one of the most taboo subjects around. But we found three moms who invited us into their homes (and marriages) and shared their own experiences of being in a sexless marriage. And it's not all what you'd think...

A deprived husband turns to momlogic to help save his sexless marriage. Keep reading for the complete interview.

Check out our gallery and spice up your life life with an aphrodisiac.
1 | 2 | 3


next: It's Official: Lap Dances and Kids Don't Mix
191 comments so far | Post a comment now
Suzanne Eller October 6, 2008, 10:39 AM

I think this shows that sex in marriage is an important topic. I’ve been married for 29 years, and we have great intimacy, but we work at it. We have special nights that are date nights, even if that means watching Survivor, ordering in pizza, and dancing to Fleetwood Mac after. Taking time for each other started years ago, when our home was filled with children and we didn’t want to lose the “we” part of our relationship. There are many things that can rob a couple of sexual intimacy — lack of knowledge, pain due to hormonal changes, fatigue, not taking time to meet both needs, and so much more. Sounds like a great conversation to have here on Momlogic.

Anonymous October 14, 2008, 1:15 PM

I don’t know who they chose for this study or who they spoke with for this article but Women, married or not DO like to have sex. Period.

It is the circumstances that change the way people look & feel about sex and it affects how often they want to have it or not with their partner.

Men may forget women have a way of viewing and imagining how sex will be and men many times just want to go through the motions. We don’t mind having quick sex once in a while but we love romance and details. Remember it normally takes longer for us to get there because our sexual organs are internal. Men get there quicker because theirs is external.

When people are together for a long period of time they get comfortable with each other regardless if they are married or not and things cool down eventually.

This is why experimenting and working on it are crucial to any relationship.

Matt October 14, 2008, 2:56 PM

I can hear the wives now. Why would my husband cheat on me?? Boo hoo.

Mark October 14, 2008, 5:09 PM

You weren’t married to MY wife!

gautam November 22, 2008, 2:54 AM

saali aurat sabse bada dhoka hai

Anonymous January 14, 2009, 7:56 AM

wow all you peopel are sad!

Steve February 8, 2009, 2:03 PM

Ladies this is very, very disappointing.

VanBurenMom March 10, 2009, 5:30 PM

As a Married Mom of 2, most nights I am just to dam tired to do anything other than crawl in bed and go to sleep. Hubby is often tired too. Occasionally he will get all annoyed because I have not been in the “mood” for a bit, so I tell him I am more than willing to lay there and have sex, just dont ask me to move, and forgive me if I snore. Than he will REALLY look at me, see that I am just worn out by the kids, and than he will tell me to flip and he will give me a nice back rub… and honestly the back rub can be such a turn on that he gets what he wants anyway!

Buster Smith March 17, 2009, 3:34 PM

I have been married for almost 10 years. For about 9 years I have tolerated a sexless marriage. Meaning sex about once bi monthly. I am usually asked why I am irritable and cranky. I feel like I am starved out by the time I get a little. By then I am so horny that sex last about 2 minutes. Then she is upset that I cant hold it longer. so I use porn to suppliment the pleasures of sex. Then I am made to feel guilty for using it also. What gives here. For Gods sake I am a person that is sexual. I am not 88 years of age. Come on. I am too tired blah blah blah excusses and more excusses.

AL April 27, 2009, 3:12 PM

Well a lot of these women may have valid excuses for not wanting sex with their husband when he needs it. But I think my wife is lacking in that department.

We have been married for 4 years. Our kids are grown and out of the house. We both work outside the home. When we are home I do most of the cleaning of the house, dishes, laundry. We both ahare in the cooking duties 50 /50.

She is quite a bit overweight. She was that way when I married her and I told her she was hot all the time then and i still find her just as attractive and I tell her quite often that she is hot these days.

During the time we lived together before getting married she wanted sex a lot and probably for the first year or 2 it was that way.

Lately the last few years she is not interested at all. It is always something. She is too tired, she is sleepy, she has a headache, she would rather finish reading her book. She says she is better with sex in the mornings. So when I tried to start somthing before getting up to go to work, she says NO that it relaxes her too much to drive to work. I wait for weekends and try to get something started in the evening or morning, NOPE. She always has a reason.

Several times I have suggested to her that some of the medications that she is taking may be impacting her sex drive. Her response was “well if I can remember I will ask the doctor the next time I see him”. That did not go anywhere.

I have suggested spending the night in a hotel to get her mind off of things around home but NOPE she needs to be there for her dogs.

I used to bring home erotic stories that I would write about her during my lunch hour. That worked for a while but that stopped working.

She suggested two months ago that since we never had time for sex, we should hava Date Night which would be Friday Nights. That worked for a couple of weeks as we would watch a movie with her dogs constantly interrupting us hugging and holding hands to receive attention from her. After the movie we would go to the bedroom and do our thing. During the last month or so she just wants to watch the movies and nothing else.

I love her and I want to make love to her and only her BUT I have needs too. I am beginning to think that my needs do not matter to her. When she was married to her other husband he used to tell her that she loved her dogs more than she loved him. She says that is a lie that he was just jealous BUT I am beginning to think that he might have hit the nail on the head.

An example is Friday night we watched a movie and nothing else. So Saturday night I tried to get something started but she said that she had a headache and just needed to sleep to make it go away. Fine. BUT about 30 minutes later some of her three dogs started whining. It was only raining outside, NO THUNDER. So she gets up to see what the problem is. She was gone until 1:30 or 2:00 A.M. Turns out that she felt sorry for them and sat on the sofa with them while she watched a novie or two and the dogs slept on the sofa and floor.

So I guess that puts that dogs needs before mine in her world.

I am starting to feel like my only purpose that my wife has for me in this marriage is to keep our house clean so she don’t have to, to make sure that the martgage is paid on the house so that her and her dogs will have a safe, warm, comfortable place to live.

I am beginning to think that the only reason she used to have sex with me so much was so that I would marry her.

So I am starting to feel like if I can’t get it at home, I am going to find it somewhere. And if I do and she finds out, it will be ALL MY FAULT. But I don’t care anymore.




Al April 27, 2009, 3:18 PM

Part 2

After the movie we would go to the bedroom and do our thing. During the last month or so she just wants to watch the movies and nothing else.

I love her and I want to make love to her and only her BUT I have needs too. I am beginning to think that my needs do not matter to her. When she was married to her other husband he used to tell her that she loved her dogs more than she loved him. She says that is a lie that he was just jealous BUT I am beginning to think that he might have hit the nail on the head.

An example is Friday night we watched a movie and nothing else. So Saturday night I tried to get something started but she said that she had a headache and just needed to sleep to make it go away. Fine. BUT about 30 minutes later some of her three dogs started whining. It was only raining outside, NO THUNDER. So she gets up to see what the problem is. She was gone until 1:30 or 2:00 A.M. Turns out that she felt sorry for them and sat on the sofa with them while she watched a novie or two and the dogs slept on the sofa and floor.

So I guess that puts that dogs needs before mine in her world.

I am starting to feel like my only purpose that my wife has for me in this marriage is to keep our house clean so she don’t have to, to make sure that the martgage is paid on the house so that her and her dogs will have a safe, warm, comfortable place to live.

I am beginning to think that the only reason she used to have sex with me so much was so that I would marry her.

So I am starting to feel like if I can’t get it at home, I am going to find it somewhere. And if I do and she finds out, it will be ALL MY FAULT. But I don’t care anymore.

Denise July 28, 2009, 8:33 AM

This article is great..Most woman I know has a lover thats why she is not sleeping with her husband..Men are seriously kidding themselves if they think that their wives are not having sex..They are just not having sex with you Genius…

payday loans canada December 18, 2009, 2:13 PM

Good Day!!! www.momlogic.com is one of the most excellent resourceful websites of its kind. I take advantage of reading it every day. Keep it that way.

matt1941 February 14, 2010, 9:12 AM

My wife and I are great friends and partners. Last time we had sex I think was about 25 years ago. Were just not interested in sex, its a hassle,waste of time. And no where in the marriage vows does it say its a required subject.Were in our 60s now and just enjoying each other.

Tracey  March 10, 2010, 8:25 PM

www.momlogiic.com, how do you do it?

Melisa  March 11, 2010, 3:31 AM

Incredible. www.momlogic.com rocks.

Loretta  March 11, 2010, 3:51 AM

And this is the main reason I read www.momlogic.com. Killer post.

hesham July 8, 2010, 4:39 AM

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Tara August 28, 2010, 5:20 PM

50% of the men complaining about their wives not being interested in sex are cuckolds. Men rarely think there wives cheat on them - if she is not having sex with you even odds she is having sex with someone else. Almost never hear men consider the possibility, they think they are the only ones who stray and that woman find them irresistible. I guess it’s the fragile male ego. These articles are so biased, never a discussion about how lazy men get with sex after the wedding, talk about bait and switch, not worth the trouble. Men don’t look at themselves just how their wives have changed. He gains 80 pounds, gets bald, soft, sloppy, so out of shape he can only manage 5 min of bad sex. Yet he thinks the 20 yo behind the MacDonald’s counter who ask “can I help you?” wants him!! Admittedly, being male is not easy I guess the myth that 20 hot chick are ready to fall on him no matter how little he has to offer is compensation. Sexually frustrated, desparate, angry, men looking for a woman to meet their “needs” are creepy and a dime a dozen, not in demand except in the service industry.

Nat September 2, 2010, 12:32 PM

I’m 65 years old married 43 years and 30 years without any intimacy or sex.
This past 30 years have been great, no sex with my wife. I have E/D depression and high blood pressure and take meds. I couldn’t thank my doctor enough when he told me sex was and issue I wouldn’t be able to enjoy again. Now my wife enjoys sex and I don’t know how or care where shes had sex. That dosen’t bother me. I feel wife is boring, and just prudeish snob.


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