Guest blogger Dani Klein Modisett: I didn't have sex with my husband last night. Not news really, except that I intended to. Earlier in the day I put on some jeans that fit and brushed my hair and thought, "Gee, we should have sex tonight!"
I caught up with a friend on the phone (both our children started kindergarten this week) after making dinner and feeding everyone, then walked my 13-month-old around the block 10 times to get him to sleep and came home and sat on the couch. I drifted off somewhere between Sarah Palin lambasting Obama and The Daily Show. My husband refuses to take advantage of me when I'm not awake, so no sex was had.
We had sex last week because I got back from a 10-day trip without him and even though I was more tired than when I left for this "vacation," he looked cute and was so happy to see me and we were lying on the bed after the kids were asleep and what started out as hand-holding...escalated.
It's not like we never have sex, or even have sex bi-annually, which I hear can happen. But most of the time, given my druthers, I'd rather pull a big soft pillow next to me and pass out. I guess my husband was sharing this painful reality with a female co-worker who has two small children and she said,
"Sure. Don't you know? Sleep is the new sex."
Tod came home and told me this and I felt much better.
As long as we are being chic in our waning intimacy, we really can't complain.
Dani Klein Modisett is the mom of two boys, and the creator/producer of Afterbirth...Stories You Won't Read in Parents Magazine.