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Single Sex School's Fine for Girls, Not for Boys

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Momlogic's Yvette: Let me start by saying I'm all for all girl's schools -- I happen to be the product of one. Sure, I hated the uniforms -- but there's no doubt in my mind that my all girl's education helped made me who I am today ... strong, confident and competitive (sometimes too much if you ask my husband).

high school girls

That said, my plan is to have my daughter follow in my kilt-clad footsteps. I know the experience will empower her and help her grow into an amazing and exceptional young lady. Well ... that and the fact that she won't be distracted by horny and hormonal pubescent boys in the classroom.

Now my little guy ... not so much. Call me sexist, call me old-fashioned, call me crazy -- but for my little man, it'll be a co-ed education all the way. Every time I say this out loud, people give me the evil eye -- as if I just took feminism back 50 years or so. Let's get one thing straight -- this has nothing to do with feminism or favoritism or any other -ism you want to throw at me. This is about a mom who wants the best possible education for her children -- both inside and outside the classroom.

I happen to feel that girls can benefit greatly from a single sex learning environment where they can focus more on their work and less on that cute football player in algebra. These schools help girls work together and bond instead of inciting competition for that same cute football player's attention. I feel it's important for these girls to be socialized outside of the classroom -- just not in it.

Now boys (on the other hand) are an all together different story. I grew up with a brother and dozens of friends who went to all boys school. While they're perfectly charming adults -- all mostly married and gainfully employed, I can't help but think they all would have benefited from having girls around a bit more. I want my son to excel in school, play sports and yes, even share jokes and locker room antics with his buds. But I also want my son to respect girls and see them as friends, not just objects to oogle and brag about. That element, sadly, is what I fear is missing in many all boys environments.

So you see, while my plan is to educate my kids differently -- in the end -- I want the same thing for them. To grow into the amazing, strong, self-confident and kind young adults I know they'll be.

next: It's a Girl for Joely Fisher
22 comments so far | Post a comment now
samantha September 30, 2008, 2:39 PM

i totally agree with you! this makes perfect sense — but im not sure yet what im going to do with my kids

not logical September 30, 2008, 2:57 PM

Why is your son going to learn to respect girls in a coed classroom, but other boys in coed classrooms are horny and hormonal? That doesn’t make any sense. Sounds like you’re teaching your kids that there’s a pretty big difference between girls and boys, and what your girl will take from that is “I have to wear a uniform but my brother doesn’t!”

janet - September 30, 2008, 4:02 PM

totally agree!! I can’t imagine my son in a single sex school but if I had a daughter I think I’d love to see her in an all girl’s school.

anthony September 30, 2008, 5:40 PM

This is a typical feminist philosophy: Boys, by nature, don’t respect girls. Respect runs both ways. I know plenty of women that don’t respect men and consider them all domestic abusers and potential rapists. Its becoming obvious our co-ed system has been failing boys for years. Boys generally read at a lower level, are less likely to enter college, and their natural behaviour is seen as dysfunctional which usually results in Ritalin. Single sex classrooms seem to help boys learn more efficiently and is gaining widespread popularity. Feminist groups like NOW and the AAUW are fighting this trend because they don’t want to give up their educational advantage. They use the same excuse: single sex classrooms will prevent boys from seeing girls as equals. Its apparent that a boys education is secondary to their hyper-sensitive mentality that woman are victimized by the evil, sexist, patriarchy. You know the women’s movement has gotten out of hand when they elevate the importance of one childs education over another. Suggested Reading: ‘The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Hurting Our Young Boys’ — by Christina Hoff Sommers.

Anna September 30, 2008, 11:05 PM

I am against the traditional school setting in the first place. All you are doing is having your kid learn bad habits from other students and an atmosphere that sufficates the learning envirement. This womans son is going to learn from his guy freinds to use expressions like “look at those coconuts” and an objectifying way of thinking about girls. Girls not being around guys makes them more shy… or more desperate for male attention… both are equally bad.

Carrie October 1, 2008, 12:03 AM

I find it ironically funny that you take the view that your daughter would excel in an all girls school, but your son needs to be in a coed school to excel. Apparently you have not seen recent statistics that support the advantage of boys attending all boys schools. I find it humorous that you would mention horny and hormonal pubescent boys as a distraction for girls. Because apparently, girls are never horny or hormonal and a distraction to boys? Now that is logic!

Rachel October 1, 2008, 10:28 AM

Women are still the inferior sex. We still face glass ceilings and earn less than our male colleagues. Why not let girls thrive in an all girls environment before they set off into a world where it will be tougher for them than boys? I went to a coed school, but have many girlfriends who went to all-girl schools and they are just such strong and smart and self-contained women. If I had a girl, I would send her to an all girls school.

Anonymous October 1, 2008, 11:23 AM

We are forgetting about one little thing…called parenting. No matter where you send your child, they will encounter children who are not fabulous influences. That’s where parenting comes in. If you teach your child right from wrong at home…then they will be stand up people no matter who they are around or what school they attend. Also, I went to a public school…with boys. I survived. I liked boys and dated boys…and got great grades. When they get into the real world they will have to deal with boys and focusing on work. That’s life.

Matt October 5, 2008, 11:57 AM

Let’s say all girls go to single-sex schools. Now how can boys go to coed schools if all the girls are in single-sex schools? But you say, not all girls will go to coed schools. So I guess I want to know if you think it’s good for your sons to go to a school where there are substantially more boys than girls? And can girls learn to live and work with boys when there are few or none around?

Red October 16, 2008, 3:14 PM

it doesn’t matter what kind of school you go to, kids are going to learn behaviors from their peers. and yvette you’re forgetting that there’s this thing called peer pressure that will come into play. yes, I’m male and I went to a public school, but I learned resepect for girls/women from my Grandfather who was old world Sicilian and he didn’t tolerate disrespect in any form, so your logic there is flawed as one previous poster commented, it’s about parenting and teaching your kids right from wrong. don’t play pass the blame from the parents to the school system. if you’re so worried about girls/women getting respect from us males maybe you should take it up with fashion designers too, since they make the clothes that parents buy their kids that make them look like something to objectify instead of like people. I have a son and he’ll go to public school, and when I have a daughter so will she…but I’m not going to let her dress like some of these parents let their girls dress, there won’t be any of these belly shirts and short shorts or skirts that fall just below the panty line for her…take a stand and don’t let your kids rule the house, be parents for crying out loud! oh, one more thing…it’s a skirt, not a kilt. a kilt is worn by the Scots and Irish and denotes Clan affiliation by way of the Tartan colors.

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Anonymous November 13, 2008, 10:45 AM

you want your daughter to go to an all girls school to protect her from the EVIL men that will corrupt her instead of teaching her about the real world. you want her to stay away from men for as long as possible, which makes you a straight up Sexist.

sgafg November 24, 2008, 6:27 PM

this is very idiotic and stupid

Jackie February 3, 2009, 3:03 PM

So what you’re saying is your definately not sexist but SOMEHOW Boys will distract Girls while Girls won’t distract boys because we all know that Girls automatically respect Boys and Boys automatically disrespect Girls.

I mean how dense can you get.

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Lord Quack June 14, 2009, 7:32 PM

So your saying that, with education of schools being where girls are alone which leads to guys being alone - your saying that only girls should get a good environment and guys should not? Only girls “benefit” and guys do not? You said “guys need girls around” or like that. Ya, nice plan there.

alec December 8, 2009, 10:39 PM

first, so you want to say that even though you know multiple people who are well adjusted and went to all-boys schools that’s not good enough for you? Second your telling your son, whether you see it or not, that he is inherently bad and that he has something wrong with him which needs to be cured by having a good influence around him. Third, so girls need to avoid the competition of dressing up for guys, yet the same problems somehow don’t exist for guys in a coed environment, have you ever watched a stereotypical high school movie? The guys that are bullies always do it when a chick is watching. Fourthly i have no problem with you sending your daughter to a single sex school, many of the most special people in my life went to all girl schools, but to assume that those same advantages aren’t there at an all boys school is ludicrous in almost an awe inspiring way. I went to an all-boys high school and found it to be an excellent experience for the same reasons you find the all-girl environment for your daughter to be the right fit. There are minimal distractions in the classroom, i was able to meet and learn to coexist with different cliches in place of competing against one another for girls attention. Finally respecting people (boys, girls, whatever) is up to the individual, because if you send your son to a public school, he won’t hear from his guy friends about those amazing relationships and open connectedness they feel with their girl friends, which you seem so desperately to be looking for, he is more likely to hear about the putang they got at a party the previous night, and how steve is banging rachel, but also just got it with jessica last week. Now the same thing does occur at an all boys-school, hell it appears anywhere where immature guys are gathered in a group and left to their own devices. So if you have a chance to send your son to an all boys school (this is in reference to high school, i was public until freshman year) that offers amazing educational opportunities, more so than the local public high school, just do it because the education he gains in the classroom will be worth far more than any perceived benefit you have conjured up in your mind to defend your thought process. Think about your experiences, and then look at the male examples you yourself gave, who were educated in an all boys environment, don’t cheat your son because you think he needs to be “socially adjusted” that comes in due time. So look past your own biases and towards the examples that sit in front of your very nose, or maybe get a little better grip on the reality within public schools, and what goes on within a teenagers mind.

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