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Dear Husband: Watch Porn, Please

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Guest Blogger Mom De Plume, wonders, "Should I trust a man who doesn't like porn?"

My husband does not read "Playboy," "Penthouse," "Hustler," nor does he surf for porn on the Internet.

"He probably does, honey," I can hear you saying. "He's just doing it behind your back."

I wish.

For some reason my husband doesn't seem to have any interest in the things most men do: porn magazines, strip clubs, the two girls at once scenerio or movies with titles like "Pulp Friction."

Hey, maybe he's gay. But I don't think so considering he often wants sex more than I do. Scratch that ... he ALWAYS wants sex more than I do. Still, would a pile of girlie mags hidden under our floorboards be the only way to prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt his heterosexual status?

Is there something wrong with a man who isn't interested in all things pervy? Isn't porn like beer -- all men crave it? And it's not like I want to watch the porn with him. I don't. But if I were a GUY, I know I'd be watching it. Hell, I'd probably be going to strip clubs, have a subscription to the Playboy channel and during my single days have visited a hooker or two -- and why not?  It would be my right as a red-blooded American male. Why doesn't my husband want to exercise that right?


17 comments so far | Post a comment now
shanna September 18, 2008, 5:01 PM

omg, i can so relate to this!
My husband doesn’t either…and while I realize it’s one of his traits that makes him a good husband and dad, I really do wish he had a little bit of bad boy in him. Because that’d be sexy!

kay September 18, 2008, 5:07 PM

I only wish my husband wouldn’t like porn.My husband is addicted to porn on the internet.He tells me that it has nothing to do with me,that he has done this since he was a teenager.I have asked him to get help and he doesn’t want to.What has bothered me the most about this is it gives me a complex that I’m not sexy enough.My self confidence is low.I love my husband and I have to learn to live with this.Be thankful.

foxymama September 18, 2008, 5:53 PM

i’ve caught my hubbie indulging in a little after hours skinamax….it’s healthy…in small doses, right?

mccoy September 18, 2008, 6:10 PM

Personally I love the fact that my husband doesn’t look at porn, not to say that he never has, but he completely obstains now. Why would you want your husband fantisizing about another woman? That would make me feel horrible. In our faith we believe that if you have commited adultery in your heart its just as bad as doing the act. Not to say that haveing a fleeting thought is adultury, but dwelling on it is. I know my husband loves me and I trust him to stay away from that garbage.

Anonymous September 18, 2008, 7:26 PM

Can’t believe this is a serious ML article. If a wife is cool with a porn-addict husband then great - that’s what works for them. But to complain because your hubby has too much respect for women to waste his time with such nonsense is absolutely ridiculous. How lucky are you that when your husband wants to be aroused, he climbs into bed next to you?

And let’s not even get into the issue of how porn-addictions have led to serious marital problems, cheating, and even molestation.

Be grateful. End of story.

Anonymous September 18, 2008, 7:37 PM

I enjoy watching porn no and then but my husband doesn’t. I used to do it with old boyfriends. I wish I get get him to relax and enjoy it with me but it’s just not his thing I guess good Catholic boy that he is…

forgivin September 18, 2008, 8:23 PM

I can totally relate to this. My husband isn’t into any of that. He doesn’t even like sports. He likes cars though. I am very greatful that he’s not like every guy. I wouldn’t want him to be any different. I love my hubby!!

praying4baby#2 September 18, 2008, 10:25 PM

It’s totally normal for guys to watch other women. They can’t help it! That’s what they are bred for! It has nothing to do with the love they have for their wives!

We watch porn together. It just gets us in the mood. I’m confident enough to know that he loves ME!!

If your husband doesn’t watch porn, etc. than consider yourself lucky!

Suzanne Eller September 18, 2008, 10:31 PM

Having a husband whose heart and eyes for me only is not just beautiful after 28 years of marriage, it’s sexy.

Mandi September 19, 2008, 6:53 AM

What?! Maybe he’s GAY? How about, maybe he has enough respect for his wife to only have eyes for her! And of COURSE he will have a higher sex drive if he’s only getting sex from his wife and not “spilling his seed” (how’s that for old school?) over some nasty magazine or dirty movie. Yes, it’s “normal” for a man to be visually stimulated, but it in NO way makes it HEALTHY for him to be fulfilling his lust in any woman but his wife.

I’m very thankful that my man has put his blinders on and only has eyes for me - like Suzanne said above, “it’s sexy” ;-) and I find personal satisfaction in being the ONLY woman that “takes care of” my man sexually {wink} In fact, I quite enjoy it.

Patrick September 19, 2008, 12:34 PM

Maybe we should get a guys perspective…and I am one, so here you go ~
Guys DO NOT NEED IT. My desire is for one woman - my wife. While it is enticing at times, I do not look at any porn. I comitted myself to my wife when I married her - 100% and I am not going to break that comittment.

Anonymous September 19, 2008, 2:54 PM

As a guy I can say that it’s a slippery road. For some guys, porn can be the gateway to adultery. For others, it can be a great way to give the old bits & pieces their due maintenance when the wifey doesn’t want to. Everything in moderation is what I say. As far as lack of interest in porn meaning your husband is gay… well, that’s probably not the case. Finding another guy inside your husband is probably a good indicator that he’s gay.

Hmmm March 20, 2009, 3:48 PM

If he was gay, he’d have gay porn hidden somewhere. You’d probably caught him already.

Suzanne October 11, 2009, 6:42 AM

Hey Lady, Get a clue — A man who looks at porno is being UNFAITHFUL to his wife. If you’re worried about it, you can kill two birds with one stone. Go get some lacy lingerie, take pictures of YOURSELF, and present him with his own customized photo album of YOU.

And thank God for your blessings.

Mandy September 28, 2010, 12:53 PM

Where are you finding these men that don’t need porn??? Please point me in that direction!! Porn absolutely disgusts me but I can’t seem to find a man who isn’t obsessed with it!!!

Craig M. January 10, 2011, 9:55 AM

Personally I don’t understand how man do not want to watch porn movies. Very strange indeed… I am a man and I always watch porn movies, especially with Abbey Brooks. She is really a beautiful and sexy woman and I can’t understand how your husband don’t want to watch at such beauty. I think you should have a talk about it…

Abby March 26, 2011, 1:08 PM

I wish my husband liked porn or he was gay then I would know whats wrong with him. He has never been to a strip club, or even a bar. He has zip for friends, doesn’t go any where except doctors appointments, grocery store and occasionally the home center. We haven’t had sex, intimacy,love, date, a conversation lasting more than 4 words in 30 years. He built a small appartment for himself down stairs, and that is how we live. We can go for days and weeks at a time and not see each other. He always has projects hes doing and I’m not included in. I don’t wear a wedding ring any more and some of my friends don’t know I’m even married. A heck of a way to live. I’ve learned to hate and don’t trust men in general. I’ve found a girl friend to be with! We have no family kids or parents. My girl friend is some one I can talk to and cry with and hug.

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