twitter facebook stumble upon rss

12 Ways New Dads Can Save Money

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Guest Blogger Paul Starke: It used to be that whenever I'd be watching TV, and I'd see a story on the economy -- I'd change the channel. I didn't get it, didn't care, and would much rather be watching "SportsCenter" anyway. But since I became a Dad, that's all changed.

Dad holding goft box.

I still don't fully understand what's been going on with the economy lately, but I do believe that there's a good chance we're all royally screwed. With that in mind, here's this week's Daddy Dozen: "12 Ways New Dads Can Save Money."

1) Make your own formula: The formula we use smells and tastes like wet garbage. Why not secretly replace your baby's formula with rich-tasting Folgers Crystals?

2) Don't buy anything for yourself: Sorry guys, no new gadgets or clothes. I own underpants that have now reached the legal drinking age.

3) Exploit your baby: Odds are, your kid's pretty cute. Go get some head shots taken, send her out on modeling shoots (Those Huggies kids must come from somewhere) and let her support YOU.

4) Teach your baby how to grift: that way, he can grow up to be an adorable Dickensian street urchin/pickpocket.

5) Anything can be a toy: I put some pennies in an empty Sprite can; my son loves it.

6) Make your vacations local: Forget Disneyland. You'll find way zanier characters at the DMV... plus, it gives you a great excuse to do #7.

7) Never visit your in-laws: If ever there were a silver lining to an economic disaster...

8) Replace your diapers with a ShamWow.

9) Combine Valentine's Day/Your wife's birthday/your anniversary into one day: Instead of stressing out over three pricey, last-minute gifts for your wife, save money by combining them all into something extra special. Love Day? That's catchy.

10) Scale down your kid's parties: Our son was born April 15th (tax day). We'll be holding his 1st birthday party at H&R Block. The presents will be tax deductible.

11) Go green: Instead of electricity or even solar energy, perhaps there's a way to power your home on the volume of your baby's crying?

12) Get rid of non-essential items, like cable TV: Well, that's just crazy talk. I refuse to raise my child in a world where he can't watch a "Real World" marathon.

Paul Starke Paul Starke is an Emmy-winning TV producer, and a co-writer of the #1 New York Times bestseller, An Inconvenient Book.


next: Plaster Your Kid's Ass
2 comments so far | Post a comment now
V October 3, 2008, 2:04 PM

Ha! I love this guy’s humor! It kills me!

Ten Tees January 8, 2011, 2:36 PM

Nice article. Good and fun reading. There’s a single point to give about shirts.


Back to top >>
advertisement