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Dad Banned from Mommy & Me Group

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Rick Kaselj, a part-time stay-at-home dad, wanted to join his neighborhood's Mommy & Me group so his baby son Cole could be around other infants. But when he tried to participate, the  group apologetically informed Kaselj via email that more than half of the members want the group to be for mothers only. "I hate to discriminate," the email went on, "but hope you can understand when it comes to the security of our children."

Do you think dads should be able to join Mommy & Me groups?

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13 comments so far | Post a comment now
JLCoburn October 19, 2008, 11:47 AM

Ouch. I’m a full-time SAHD and I can imagine exactly how he feels. I know the trend of SAHDs is growing but it just goes to show its not as acceptable as everyone likes to believe. What hurts/insults the most is the ‘for the safety’ comment…I don’t think I can articulate how angry and upset if someone told me that.

Renee October 19, 2008, 12:04 PM

Being a man does not make you a bad person. I bet some of those mommies aren’t so safe.

Jac October 19, 2008, 12:42 PM

I don’t see the big deal about a dad going to a Mommy & Me group. It’s aupposed to be about the child anyways.

Natalie October 19, 2008, 2:40 PM

That’s nuts, and very VERY hurtful. Definitely not right.

nicole October 19, 2008, 3:15 PM

dad’s are less caddy, my mom’s group is all inclusive, it’s great, those ladies are missing out and snubbing a child in the mean time too

Me October 19, 2008, 4:27 PM

I would sue!

Tammy October 19, 2008, 4:43 PM

Are you kidding me? That’s wrong, wrong, wrong. Because the “moms” don’t want him in he can’t bring his child to a group? That’s just ridiculous. Yes, it would take me a bit to get used to having a dad in the group but if the situation were reversed, my husband would have done the mommy and me groups and I’d be angry beyond belief if no one would let him in. I’d do something to make this come to light, I would not sue, because that’s a bit extreme but I might write the local newspaper. I hope this dad finds a group that will accept him and his little boy.

Derek October 19, 2008, 11:47 PM

“I hate to discriminate, but…”

Aren’t we over the “all men are scary” idea?

Kudos to the dad for even trying to join, for trying to build community for his child!

C.I. October 20, 2008, 12:54 AM

I believe this happened in the town I live in. I remember seeing this on the news. It’s pretty sad. My husband is a stay-at-home dad, and there is nothing out there for him and other father’s. The “mommy-and-me” groups should not discriminate, it’s more like discriminating against the kid because his care-giver is the wrong gender.

Sarah October 20, 2008, 1:49 AM

We have a father in our “mothers group” as it is called here in Australia. We don’t have a problem with it as the groups purpose is so the children get to interact with other children. The father loves it too as by the time he heads home at the end of the 2 hours his daughter is absolutely buggered and sleeps for a couple of hours.

The view by this group that shunned the male is very one sided as the majority of child abuse we hear about in Australia is carried out by the mother.

Aubrey October 20, 2008, 11:18 AM

As silly as this situation is, it’s happening everywhere. For whatever reason men are not seen (Generally) as being the caring, loving and constant guardian of a child. The “for the security of our children” bit, though…one would think that being as the male’s role (again, generally speaking) is that of the “Protector” of the family.

I think that communities should make an effort to gather as many STHD’s and start having “Daddy and me” groups in areas where the women folk are to close minded to welcome them in. Come on, ladies. We can invade the men’s territory by becoming strong in the workforce, but we can’t let them in on the joys of being a stay home parent?

Absolutely ridiculous.

Danielle October 21, 2008, 3:38 PM

Okay, I could understand if it was just because they want a “girls day out” kind of vibe or whatever but “..the security of our children”?? Yikes, poor guy definitely did not deserve that slap across the face. Perhaps he should create a “Daddy and Me” class that even allows working dads to bring their children to on the weekends or something…think about it!

LA March 26, 2009, 5:54 PM

I teach and coordinate a mommy & me program at a local parish/school on Long Island. It is an OUTRAGE to discriminate against a parent or anyone else who wants to join the group. After trying to change the program name, I went back to calling it Mommy & Me. I will definitely be changing the name since I have stay-at-home dads, moms, grandmas, and even babysitters who bring the children.

You could join my group anytime.

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