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Daddy Dozen: 'I Better Get Credit for This!'

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Guest Blogger Paul Starke: I love my wife, Melissa. She is beautiful, hilarious, sexy, brilliant and a wonderful wife and mom. She can also be batcrap crazy sometimes.

man watching tv

This morning, she got angry with me because -- without being asked -- I put away the baby's laundry. I thought I was doing her a favor, but apparently, I put the laundry away INCORRECTLY. Guys who read this: I know you can sympathize with me. How does this give us incentive to do any chore if we're just going to catch hell for it? Plus, why is it that all of our good deeds go unnoticed? So, for my wife, here are "The 12 Awesome Things I Did This Week (and got no credit)."

1. I cleaned up the cat's vomit: Yes, you change the majority of poopy diapers, but cat puke makes baby poop look and smell like cotton candy.

2. I changed the light bulbs: Even the ones where I had to get on a ladder. I did this for you, because I could easily live in complete darkness for days.

3. I put "Made of Honor" on our Netflix queue: Who loves Patrick Dempsey movies? I don't!

4. I Tivo'd "Grey's Anatomy": Who loves Patrick Dempsey TV shows? I don't!

5. I didn't bother you for sex: Not one shoulder-tap in the middle of the night.

6. I cleaned up all the baby's boogers: I don't know why, but I get a thrill out of bagging one with that little squeezy-thing. Now I know how hunters feel.

7. I bought you that Stella McCartney handbag for your birthday: Sure, your birthday was three weeks ago, but still...

8. I agreed to go to your high school reunion: Even though I'll surely get punched in the face by one of your ex-boyfriends.

9. I got the right humidifier for the baby: I didn't get the cheap one, with the asbestos tank.

10. I took down the recycling: We live in a 3rd floor walkup! Plus, I did this during the hockey game.

11. I'm taking care of the baby tomorrow night while you see your girlfriends: When do I ever ask to hang out with MY girlfriends?

12. I told you how pretty you looked in your blue dress: You always look beautiful, though.

See? I'm not so bad! Surely all of these make up for the fact that you get up with the baby every night, right?

Paul StarkePaul Starke is an Emmy-winning TV producer, and a co-writer of the #1 New York Times bestseller, An Inconvenient Book.

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10 comments so far | Post a comment now
mama_chita October 17, 2008, 4:32 PM

This was funny. I cracked up at #3 and #4.

And my husband could totally relate to ‘putting the laundry away incorrectly.’
I know we’re a pain in the a$$, but seriously — you *don’t* know how to do it right. LOL.

Cindy October 17, 2008, 7:57 PM

I have to agree with mama_chita, we are nagging and PITA’s, but you love us and can’t live without us. We love Patrick Dempsey because his characters that he plays are endearing to us women.
and…. men NEVER put away laundry right. They don’t do it right, they don’t put it away right. Its a fact. But we have you figured out, we know you do it that way (the WRONG way) so we don’t ask you to do it. ;0)

ashley October 18, 2008, 9:10 AM

Paul-You sound like a very sweet man and your wife is lucky to have you. Don’t feel bad about the laundry, I won’t let anyone fold or put away my laundry. I fold certain things a certain way and put things in certain places and drawers. I am very ocd when it comes to the laundry.

Katie October 18, 2008, 8:11 PM

We ALL have a certain way to do and put away laundry :) It’s a woman thing.. that’s why we don’t ask you men to do it. Most of the time.
But my hubby does fold the laundry… and put away HIS own laundry. But I am guilty for giving him crap for putting the baby’s laundry away wrong… or folding MY clothes wrong…. or loading the dishwasher wrong. If you are reading this… I’M SORRY HONEY! :)

Anonymous October 19, 2008, 12:26 AM

This was a cute blog! I don’t complain when my dh does chores even if he doesn’t do it the way I would have done it. My cousin gripes about her hubby doing things wrong and I told her hey at least he did it! LOL!

Anonymous October 19, 2008, 11:09 AM

I don’t say a word to my husband if he does the dishes differently than I would do them or do the laundry different. I’m just glad he helps out as many men do not. :)

Why sweat the small stuff?

Sharon October 20, 2008, 9:04 AM

I really enjoyed this one! Great job Paul, I’m sure your wife has similar praises for you that you did for her. LOL

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