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Dear Andrew,

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A letter from proud parents Lisa and Frank Demarco to the son they lost in June to SIDS after only three weeks.

DeMarco family

Our Beloved Andrew,

The day of my 20-week ultrasound when they told us you were a healthy baby boy was one of the happiest days of our life. Dad had the son he always dreamed of having. Boy, did you make mommy sick though. I barely made it home from work from the nausea. Daddy would have a gourmet meal set in front of me to make sure I was in taking all my vitamins but all I wanted was a grilled cheese and ice cream. From 22 weeks on all you did was kick. We never imagined a baby could be so active. Alexa, daddy and I would lay in bed at night and put all our hands on my belly. One night Daddy thought your entire hand came out. Every night Alexa would pick out one of her baby books to read to you. She was always talking to my belly and telling you to come out. One day she said, "Baby brother come out so you can come to the playground with me and we can go down the slide." She couldn't comprehend that you were going to be such a fragile little thing.

The day you were born we felt such an overwhelming feeling of happiness. We were all so blessed to have such a beautiful strong baby boy. Every one of your features was perfect. It was the best birthday present mommy could ever imagine. It was love at first sight ... my handsome little man. Dad joked with me that the man in my life was replaced.

The three weeks that you blessed us with your life were some of the best days of our lives. You were such a happy little boy. I know they say it is usually gas at this young of an age but you always put a smile on our face. We thought since you were such a big boy you would sleep longer but you were up every 2 hours eating like it was your last meal. You had an appetite like your dad and sisters. Your favorite position was fetal position, nuzzled in our necks. Alexa would always help me change your diaper. You hated it and would scream throughout the whole process. A couple of times you got back at me and peed all over me. Your strength was amazing ... if you wanted to eat you would thrust your whole body to my breast. Dad (of course) kept talking about what a great football player you would be when you did it

Your sister loved you so much. All she did was try to protect you and love you. She wouldn't even let mommy run upstairs to get dressed if there was a peep out of you in the swing. Every morning when she got up, the first thing that would come out of her mouth would be, "Where is Andrew ... I want to kiss him and cuddle with him." When she saw you, her little voice would get high and say, "Sweetie, I love you" and she would give kisses all over your body. She actually has still been asking for you and wants Dad and I to go to heaven and bring you back. Her innocent little mind says, lets just bring him to the doctor's. We know you are her guardian angel now.

Your dad and I feel an overwhelming need to apologize to you. I am so sorry we couldn't protect you from SIDS. I am sorry you were cheated out of a lifetime with our family. I am sorry you will never get to grow up and get to know your precious big sister. I am sorry we will miss a lifetime of loving you.

Because of you we will stop to appreciate how fragile life is. You gave such a precious gift to all of the lives you touched. No one knew at the time, but God had very special plans in mind for you when he sent you here to be with us. Who would have ever thought that someone so small would accomplish so much so quickly? Your time on this earth was so short -- but even though that time has ended, you continue to shine your light down upon all of us. You have brought us all together to cling to one another for comfort in times of pain and hardship. We remember your life and all the love and beauty you brought into the world with you. You left us too soon, but the time we did have with you was filled with love, family and plenty of sweet breast milk because I loved my chocolate so much. All you knew in life was how to be loved.

Remember always that you are immortal in our memories that have been etched so deeply upon us all. You will never be forgotten. Our beloved Frank Andrew, you will be in our hearts forever.

Love always,
Mom and Dad

October is SIDS, pregnancy & infant loss awareness month. To donate to in honor of Frank Andrew Demarco, click here.


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21 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mary M October 1, 2008, 4:50 PM

This is beautiful.

Natalie October 1, 2008, 4:53 PM

That made me cry! How hard it must be to lose a brand new baby like that. I just can’t imagine! Thank you for sharing this with us.

Vita October 1, 2008, 4:54 PM

That is so heartbreaking, I am sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks, my prayers are wtih Frank’s famly and may God hold him in his arms forever.
May he rest in peace.

Vita October 1, 2008, 4:56 PM

That is so heartbreaking, I am sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks, my prayers are wtih his family and may God hold him in his arms. He will be their guardian angel forever.
May he rest in peace.

foxymama October 1, 2008, 5:00 PM

I am beyond moved by this letter, by this family’s love - by its support of one another. What a terrible loss, but what a great thing they are doing sharing their story. God Bless them!

Kristen October 1, 2008, 5:05 PM

My deepest heartfelt sympathies for your loss. Such a precious little life cut way too short.

Anonymous October 1, 2008, 6:04 PM

SO sad….as a loss mom, I can relate…my heart to these parents….

shanna October 1, 2008, 7:35 PM

What this heartfelt letter does, is reminds the rest of us to appreciate what we have…to put things in perspective and thank God for our children and hug them extra tight tonight. Thank you Frank!

Philip Townsend October 1, 2008, 10:25 PM

The universe has a plan for us. We get to decide the details, but ultimately we only have so much time. We don’t get to decide how much. I learned that as a thirteen-year-old when a police man came to my door and told me that my dad was dead.

Our choice is to do the best we can with the time we have. To live with integrity, dignity, and love. Obviously, the Demarco’s have, and will continue to do that. The best we can do is to enjoy the good times and build something positive from the bad times.

It is darkest before dawn.

Tracey Starr October 2, 2008, 11:14 AM

Not only did Andrew bless us with his short time here, he continues to bless us from Grandma’s arms!!!

Jennifer Lowe October 3, 2008, 12:34 AM

This letter is so touching. Thank you for sharing it.

Rikki October 3, 2008, 12:37 AM

My deepest sympathies go out to all families who have suffered such a loss. I could not even begin to fathom what these families go through…it makes me thank God even more for my son.
The fact that the mother apologized just tore at my heart…I sincerely hope she doesn’t think anything could have been done in her power to prevent this.
It may seem that Little Frank Andrew went “home” too early, but I believe God has a plan for everything.

Cheri Carlson October 6, 2008, 12:54 AM

Oct 28 it will be 18 years since I awoke to find my 3 month old daughter had died of SIDS. The scream that tore through me is still close by, but life has gone on. I have a 16 yo son who is wonderful and have dedicated my life to “random acts”, angel-inspired ways to help the community around me. Presently I am helping a single mom with 4 kids start a new life. Always I am involved in cat rescue and tnr and continuing efforts to provide wildlife habitat. Because of numerous community projects I have just been named Kiwanis person of the year. Always my motivation is to make my daughter proud. My 3 months with her were very precious, she has inspired me to be a better person.
PS, latest “project” is learning to fly a taildragger, what a great way to get closer to the angels, to fly!

chandra October 9, 2008, 9:31 AM

i know exactly how oy feel. it has been 3 years since i lost my son Marcus. so one parent to another our babies will always be in our hearts
god bless

Patricia Hurley-Carbone October 9, 2008, 2:53 PM

I can’t imagine what you must be going through. My thoughts prayers are with you for a lifetime to come. God Bless your family.

Darleen McAllister October 13, 2008, 11:05 AM

Your Family is always in my prays. I know the angels in heaven are holding him close and singing sweet lullabies in his ear and telling him how much his family misses and loves him down her on earth. Me & David Love you guys and we are always here if you need us.

Fuji October 13, 2008, 11:23 AM

Your story touched my heart. Your little boy is in heaven with all the other angels. I will remember him in my prayers every night as will I remember his family in my prayers too.Your little boy will be in your hearts forever.

Theresa October 29, 2008, 11:17 AM

I have never read such a Beautiful heartfelt letter in my life. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little angel. My heart truly breaks for you & your family. It is so obvious how much you loved him & He will forever remain alive in your hearts. You are in my thought’s & prayers. May God bless you!!

Tracy M November 10, 2008, 8:03 PM

I have only recently met you and sadly never got to meet your beloved Andrew. It has taken me so long to post a comment because sadly in these situations most people are at a loss as to what to say. Each time I see you I want to acknowledge your loss as I feel that acknowledging it keeps Andrews’ memory alive. I remember hearing about the tragedy around town…my heart broke for you. I see you occasionally and want you to know how much I admire your strength and your courage. To be able to fight for this cause in the wake of such a tragedy provides strength to us all. You are in our prayers.

May your beloved Andrew sleep peacefully in heaven.

-Tracy



Vikki November 21, 2008, 10:39 PM

To even imagine something like that is as heartbreaking as the real thing. I tell people everyday if i ever lost my 4 year old i would not be able to function. I would not be as strong as the Demarco family. My heart goes out to them.


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