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Fear is Not for Mommies!

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Mom Logic's Jenny: Yes, it's true. I have a fear of birds. But thanks to my 13-month-old, fear was not a factor during a recent trip to Hawaii ...

mom afraid of a flock of birds

I hate birds. I have hated them for 32 years and have never, I repeat never, felt the need to conquer the fear. However, considering there are already so many things due to genetics that we pass on to our kids that are out of our control, I feel the need at least to try not to be the crazy mom that passes my irrational fears on to my children. Especially now that my son can actually say the word "Bird" (well, it sounds more like "burr"), I feel like I have to stifle my desire to scream and run when those nasty little creatures fly by or land near me. When I was in college, I baby sat for a little boy and every afternoon, I would take him to this playground which was constantly bombarded by pigeons. Panicked, I would shoo away the birds and mutter something probably very inappropriate for a three-year-old to hear under my breath. One day, the birds started to hover near his stroller and on cue, Z said "Go 'way birdies. I don't wike you." Uh oh. I said, "No, you can like birds. You like birds. IIIII don't like birds." "No!" He said, "I don't wike birds. Go 'way!" And that was that. I created a monster.

Determined not to make the same mistake with my own child (ha ha), I mustered up a lot of courage (mostly due to the constant flow of Pina Coladas and other umbrella-laden drinks), and endured the insane amount of bird presence at the hotel we were staying at. There were birds, there were parrots, there were flamingos, there were swans. There were even penguins. (And no. Just because sappy documentaries have been made about their sad little lives, I still don't think penguins are cute). We even ate breakfast at a restaurant called Swan Court (yes, literally, it's a f***ing court for swans. Die.), and the "burrs" were flying around like it was a Hitchcock film. I wanted to scream and shoo them away with my napkin, BUT I DIDN'T! Instead, I pointed them out with enthusiasm like a good mommy. I even turned a blind eye for a half a second when he threw a piece of food on the floor purposefully so the birds would come and eat it (OK, it wasn't completely blind. I had my foot nearly up the birds beak ready to kick it the f*** away if it got any closer). The point IS, because my baby is using his words and identifying things and even composing sentences like "bye-bye burr," I have no choice but to chill out.

But it's a damn good thing he doesn't know how to say "germs" and "plane" yet. Because I don't know just how much "chilling" I can do...


next: Work Off Those Halloween Calories
3 comments so far | Post a comment now
ashley October 24, 2008, 8:17 AM

I hate birds too. My mother in law raises and sells parrots. She has like 250. She has a huge barn for them and in the almost 8 years we have been together I have been in the barn maybe 5 times and only because I had to. They are filthy, disgusting, and noisy creatures when they are caged up. UUUGGGGHHH!!!! Anyhow, I recently had to get over my fear of rollercoasters. I was always terrified of them. So recently, my husband, our 6 year old and I went to our local amusement park. I had to ride the rollercoasters. We dont want our son to be afraid of them too. According to my hubby these are pretty tame. So I rode, and our son rode and I actually loved it. So now I am over my fear but now he is scared of them.

Anonymous October 24, 2008, 4:16 PM

There was a woman on Maury Povich’s show who had a fear of aluminum foil.

Anonymous October 24, 2008, 10:37 PM

This made me laugh because I have an absolutely ridiculous fear of bees. My daughter loves that they make a bzzzzz sound. I just break out in the sweats and tremors and smile.


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