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Filthy Rich: Permission to Cheat?

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Momlogic's Jenny: The idea of infidelity has always seemed inexcusable to me, until I saw "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" ...

rich wife covering eyes from cheating husband

I'll admit, I'm the jealous type. I have very little tolerance for tales of relationships gone awry due to infidelity, and have always said that I would leave my husband in a heartbeat if I found out he was having an affair. But as I sat glued to the television, watching the uber-glamorous cast of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" show off their palatial estates and over-the-top lifestyles, I had a change of heart: If we were that rich, I might be able to turn a blind eye.

We've all heard the rumors and stereotypes about how athletes cheat on their wives and how the wives stay with them anyway because they are all so filthy rich. When Kobe Bryant had that scandalous and supposed "one-time" extramarital affair, many people, including me, could not believe that his wife Vanessa chose to stay with him. But as I watched "TRH of Atlanta," with every new scene and shining example of financial freedom, I kind of understood it. Everything in their life seems easy and effortless and it's all due to MONEY. I mean, if I could just buy a $3000 purse whenever I felt like it, or get my hair done by my personal hair stylist in my personal, custom-built beauty parlor in my new custom-built 15,000 sq. foot house, or host a game night in a two-lane bowling alley IN MY BASEMENT, I might not care if my husband (assuming he was an NFL or NBA player) indulges some lucky fan when he's on the road.

Obviously, not every athlete cheats when he's on the road, but "women are vultures," according to one of the stars of the show Lisa Wu Hartwell, who is married to NFL player Ed Hartwell. Lisa said that "even though they know he's married, these crazed fans will go after him even more. They're at the hotels waiting for them." But Lisa thinks that it comes down to trusting that your mate will do the right thing. "There are lot of women that I know that don't trust their mates and have caught them cheating," she says, "and it comes down to deciding whether you will tolerate that behavior or not." Lisa feels blessed for being married to someone who is so family-oriented and says she wouldn't stay married just because of their lifestyle. "You have to have your own identity," she says. "And I believe that women that are too dependent on their spouse will tolerate a lot of things."

Angela Wilder, ex-wife to famous Laker basketball star James Worthy, knows all too well what it's like to "tolerate" a cheating husband. After her husband was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, Angela tried to stay and save her marriage, which ultimately ended in divorce. In her book, "Powerful Mate Syndrome," she writes, "I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king's subject." Well, in my mind, this makes total sense. Just look at Queen Katherine who was married to Henry the VIII. She knew damn well that he was having an affair, and madly in love with Anne Boleyn, but she fought until the day she died to stay married to Henry anyway. Um, can you say crown jewels??? Hello! (BTW, "The Tudors" on Showtime ... love! Cannot wait for season 3!)

The point is, while I don't condone cheating, I can totally understand why these crazy rich women are staying in marriages knowing that their husbands have been unfaithful. And honey, if you read this, while I know you'd love to be a professional baseball player, can I just say: I'm sooo happy you're not.

Watch the second episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," tonight at 9PM ET/PT on Bravo.



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127 comments so far | Post a comment now
cali October 14, 2008, 2:48 PM

most men are gonna cheat anyway so if you get a rich man and if he cheats on you so freaking what, what are you gonna do, leave him and keep leaving them because most are gonna cheat anyway so if you get a filthy rich celeb hubby well if you leave him, what are you gonna do, go with a less sucessful man who may cheat on you anyway?

Lilith October 14, 2008, 2:50 PM

I’m one in a million, NOT one of many. I am single and I am not hurting any.
Can you say “Glorified prostitute”?!? Any man who embarasses me will find himself shamed and kicked to the curb.
You just cant buy some things and I’m one of those things.

cali October 14, 2008, 2:50 PM

well as long as he doesn’t keep affairs, there’s a big difference between having a one night stand and having an affair, one is sex, the other is emotional love. you can’t be go hoeing around either, if he cheats a like a few times a year oh well, as long as its not every freaking week with every freakin woman

independent October 14, 2008, 2:57 PM

What good is the money if you are shopping and he is somewhere spending on vacations and taking someone else. Those are memories you will never experience. It’s like he is the boyfriend that comes over and gives the woman’s kids a dollar to get lost. He gives the wife a credit card to get lost and goes off and has fun with someone else. I take the dignity and respect and I would want to be spending that time with him and really being the wife and friend I signed up for, not being treated as the old lady and some chick on the side being treated as the queen. If you divorce you will still have money because you can demand half and then you can work on self respect.

hank October 14, 2008, 2:59 PM

Simple, just don’t get married unless so orded to by said agent to improve your overall positive family portrayal to your adoring fans.Its strictly business, plus pinch out a few pups to carry on the male gene. Or stay single and bang away on the sluts!! Woohoo!! Works for Johhny Depp!!

Greg October 14, 2008, 3:02 PM

Like some others before me, I think that the only reason NOT to cheat is that you gave your word. Remember? The wedding vows? THAT’s the big deal. In today’s world as in the past, money buys privilege. What makes it wrong is that you gave your word. Money NEVER allows one to break a promise. If you know you’re gonna cheat, ask first; be let out of your promise. Then both partners can know about it, and can modify their agreements to one another. Men, be prepared to be served. Ladies, some of you will be shocked. The rest, good luck adjusting to something that’s just hard to adjust to for most of us. Me? I cheated on my fiancee ten years ago. It was opportunistic, it wasn’t worth it, and I doubt I’ll do it again. I can’t promise right now because I am not married. Ask me when I am; but if I know myself well, I won’t marry someone I would cheat on.

Anonymous October 14, 2008, 3:03 PM

Ok here is my two cents about this topic. Women who only date men because they have money are called gold diggers. So for the people who say cash= a woman’s soul, no it’s a gold digger’s soul! For the women who let their men cheat and stay with them because of money then your shallow! I would not put up with my husband/boyfriend cheating. He obviously doesn’t respect you! I am an independent woman who makes good money. I don’t want or need to depend on a man. This is what I think if you have to depend on a man and he knows it, he might go out and cheat, knowing that you NEED him for financial support or etc.

Nikki October 14, 2008, 3:04 PM

My theory is given the opportunity and annonymity most (not all) guys will cheat. Who are we kidding? It’s it their genes. We already know they can separate sex from love so why do we believe they’ll stay faithful. So under the circumstances I’d rather be rich and cheated on than poor and cheated on.

caryl October 14, 2008, 3:05 PM

I really feel sorry for these shallow, zero self esteemed women. Very insecure to think they would turn an eye to cheating. Who knows what diseases they bring home? Would they want their daughters treated this way as long as there was cash? Look at these times, people, when the cash is gone, then what do these idiots do for themselves? This materialistic attitude is ruining our world, and fast!!!

Freddie Stevens October 14, 2008, 3:06 PM

I am female contrary to what the name implies and cheating only adds another problem to an already sinking ship but if that is what the individual wants, have it, you pay for it because it is morally wrong no matter how you justify it, IT IS WRONG, but if you want to cheat, or put up with it, go ahead but you will bear the consequences.

Den October 14, 2008, 3:07 PM

Ladies are missing one point when they say they will turn a blind eye. Alot of times you might turn a blind eye because you are materialistic, but do you ever think about when he puts something in you where has it been the night before? Money doesn’t always wash away the filth! And then of course typical women will say “he gave me something that I didn’t ask for, how could he”, then take him to court to take everything he has but it was your stupidity and indulgence that got you into the predictament, but yet the man has to pay! Whatever happened to morals; period. I guess it’s like saying if you can’t be with the one you love, give her money to cure the bobo…. It’s amazing how much a piece of paper with an amount printed on it can actually be worth more than a human life. Money Money Money.As Chris Rock said America will go to hell because they’ve taken God off and out of everything except the only thing that man praises…”money, it clearly states and has yet to be removed… in God we trust”

Marianne October 14, 2008, 3:10 PM

If he is that rich, get a lawyer,
take 1/2 the money, shake the girl’s
hand,”Congrats, He’s all yours” and
walk out the door.

Hubert October 14, 2008, 3:12 PM

Rich people don’t marry for love. They marry for materiial things…. bigger and homes, cars, drugs, jewelry, sex,
etc. They are like movie and TV stars.

Kat October 14, 2008, 3:16 PM

While I do not condone cheating. There are much worse things that can happen in a relationship. Statistics show that a large percent of spouses do cheat from time to time. The majority do not get caught. So all you people out there that are so smug about your so-called faithful parter, better take another look. You never know what secrets they are hiding. You will probably never know.

Stuart October 14, 2008, 3:16 PM

Well it’s like I was told some years ago by my father..Women, he said, are Preditors and they are territorial.

Rachel October 14, 2008, 3:19 PM

Crap like this is exactly what’s wrong with the world today. Very sad

Carmella October 14, 2008, 3:24 PM

It amazes me how many women up here can say that infidelity is ok if the bank is right. A woman who can deal with that must have low standards for herself. A Chanel bag is definitely not worth your soul. It’s even more amazing that this thought is backed up by what was saw on a television show. Did any of you dare to think that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Television shows thrive on ratings from you. Meaning that the writers of these shows aren’t going to show the dirt or the real reality of what these woman go through. To get better ratings and fill the heads of the average woman with thoughts that the lavish life is worth the surrendering of their morals so they can live “comfortable”. I am that average woman. Happily engaged,well-educated, financially stable, with a head on my shoulders that’s headed in the right direction. I’m happy and no man’s infidelity or riches got me where I am.

ken October 14, 2008, 3:26 PM

The question was put whether cheating is ok for the rich. In no freshman philosophy class would the question, “Are ethics situational regarding the wealth of the perpetrator?” receive a single positive response. AOL needs to raise the bar.

Jae October 14, 2008, 3:29 PM

Look at John McCain. He met Cindy when he was still very married to his other wife and mother of his children. The poor woman almost died in a car accident while he was held captive and when he came home and found out that she was now handicapped, he dumped her after meeting Cindy at a party. He claims “it was love at first sight” and they tell the story of their meeting as if it should be celebrated.That is one of the things that makes me look at him in a not so positive light. Cindy was younger and much richer so we are supposed to be happy for them?

JMichaelIsbell October 14, 2008, 3:31 PM

Right on Sara, it really can be that simple and easy to understand.


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