twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Filthy Rich: Permission to Cheat?

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Momlogic's Jenny: The idea of infidelity has always seemed inexcusable to me, until I saw "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" ...

rich wife covering eyes from cheating husband

I'll admit, I'm the jealous type. I have very little tolerance for tales of relationships gone awry due to infidelity, and have always said that I would leave my husband in a heartbeat if I found out he was having an affair. But as I sat glued to the television, watching the uber-glamorous cast of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" show off their palatial estates and over-the-top lifestyles, I had a change of heart: If we were that rich, I might be able to turn a blind eye.

We've all heard the rumors and stereotypes about how athletes cheat on their wives and how the wives stay with them anyway because they are all so filthy rich. When Kobe Bryant had that scandalous and supposed "one-time" extramarital affair, many people, including me, could not believe that his wife Vanessa chose to stay with him. But as I watched "TRH of Atlanta," with every new scene and shining example of financial freedom, I kind of understood it. Everything in their life seems easy and effortless and it's all due to MONEY. I mean, if I could just buy a $3000 purse whenever I felt like it, or get my hair done by my personal hair stylist in my personal, custom-built beauty parlor in my new custom-built 15,000 sq. foot house, or host a game night in a two-lane bowling alley IN MY BASEMENT, I might not care if my husband (assuming he was an NFL or NBA player) indulges some lucky fan when he's on the road.

Obviously, not every athlete cheats when he's on the road, but "women are vultures," according to one of the stars of the show Lisa Wu Hartwell, who is married to NFL player Ed Hartwell. Lisa said that "even though they know he's married, these crazed fans will go after him even more. They're at the hotels waiting for them." But Lisa thinks that it comes down to trusting that your mate will do the right thing. "There are lot of women that I know that don't trust their mates and have caught them cheating," she says, "and it comes down to deciding whether you will tolerate that behavior or not." Lisa feels blessed for being married to someone who is so family-oriented and says she wouldn't stay married just because of their lifestyle. "You have to have your own identity," she says. "And I believe that women that are too dependent on their spouse will tolerate a lot of things."

Angela Wilder, ex-wife to famous Laker basketball star James Worthy, knows all too well what it's like to "tolerate" a cheating husband. After her husband was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, Angela tried to stay and save her marriage, which ultimately ended in divorce. In her book, "Powerful Mate Syndrome," she writes, "I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king's subject." Well, in my mind, this makes total sense. Just look at Queen Katherine who was married to Henry the VIII. She knew damn well that he was having an affair, and madly in love with Anne Boleyn, but she fought until the day she died to stay married to Henry anyway. Um, can you say crown jewels??? Hello! (BTW, "The Tudors" on Showtime ... love! Cannot wait for season 3!)

The point is, while I don't condone cheating, I can totally understand why these crazy rich women are staying in marriages knowing that their husbands have been unfaithful. And honey, if you read this, while I know you'd love to be a professional baseball player, can I just say: I'm sooo happy you're not.

Watch the second episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," tonight at 9PM ET/PT on Bravo.

next: Want an Abortion? Meet Your Baby First
127 comments so far | Post a comment now
Aph October 14, 2008, 4:17 PM

As a random historical note, Katherine believed in maintaining her marriage to Henry VIII because divorce was a mortal sin to a Catholic woman of her time, not for the money.

Richard October 14, 2008, 4:21 PM

There are more important reasons for a woman to allow her man to stray from a relationship other than material gain. There are plenty of single women in our society that may never have a mate-those women are the ones who target married men and ruin families. Intelligent societies understand how detrimental these women can be and ‘allow’ men to take on more than one wife. These women break up families-displace children, and undermine ordrely societies. Those of you who think that it is a luxury to have more than one wife should try it-you’ll see that it is more work than it’s worth. It’s double the responsibility and the perceived payoff (sex) pales is comparison to the price. With that said, we would have less divorces, more intact, family oriented households. Children would have a variety of people looking after them than would be the case in a single or two parent household. It amazes me how, with all of the drawbacks involved, we see nothing wrong with children being raised by a single parent, but find so much (perceived) fault with them being raised in a home where there may be two or sometimes 3 mothers and 1 father to care for them.

To allow your husband to cheat because you want to live in a gated community and purchase $3000 purses is extremely selfish and contributes nothing to bettering our society. Also, let’s do away with the word ‘cheat(ing)’. Solomon of the bible wasn’t ‘cheating’ and God saw no fault with him for having more than one wife.

Jess October 14, 2008, 4:34 PM

I never would have thought I would agree with this, but I do PART of it. Not really the money part, but a woman who depends too much on her man… for anything… lets him get away with more. My ex husband cheated on me so I left him. My current fiance is the father of my child and I need him in my life. He lied to me BIG TIME twice, I got furious, and I got over it and I’m going to marry him. I dont want to go through another separation. He is it for me and I’m not letting him go.

jeremy October 14, 2008, 4:43 PM

hey to all the broke men out there and gold digger women. i can use myself as an exampel, i am a nice loking 35 year old guy. in all my years of studing women it pretty much goes like this. more cash = more women. i cant wait to get rich so i can have the women i cant have now because i dont make enuf $$ to get them. its sad to say this but im looking foward to having other chicks. so realy its the women that give men the power we just use it.

God October 14, 2008, 4:44 PM

I hope this is a joke. Sad.

Anonymous October 14, 2008, 4:49 PM

lol this article shows how worthless women are

mary October 14, 2008, 4:49 PM

Entertainers and sports figures don’t have to be rich, just famous for them to cheat and use their celebrity in order to have women throw themselves at them. Just the fact that they are talented is all that is necessary for them to get away with just about anything that they want to and the women are more than eager to get to know them. I have recently witnessed such a happening and it happens over and over again. This celebrity doesn’t have a pot or a window for that matter, but, is a very talented entertainer.

Betty October 14, 2008, 4:50 PM

John in Delray on October 14, 2008 2:26 PM wrote:
Your honor is a gift that you give to yourself.
Your honor is all that you have when you are alone with G_d.

AMEN, you said it right. The only thing you take with you to your grave is your good reputation.

Mary October 14, 2008, 4:52 PM

Men are able to do the job and walk away, unlike women who get so emotionally attached. If you truly love someone cheating should not be any part of the equation. I personally could not knowingly be married to someone who cheated on me money or not!

Denise October 14, 2008, 4:53 PM

So , basically you trade in your self esteem and your values for a dollar bill. If you can tolerate your spouse cheating on you, possibly contacting a STD or even worse, HIV, then be it. What kind of example will you be setting for your children, staying with a man for money. Eventually there will be more then one woman, and there is a chance he might leave you for one of them. Just because a man provides a good living for you, doesn’t give him a license to cheat. If you divorce him , you get your self esteem back and possibly a good settlement. With the money you get from the divorce , you can start your own business. Once you are married and you take your vows, cheating is not the right thing to do. Especially with all the STD’s and HIV going around.

Anonymous October 14, 2008, 5:07 PM

We tend to accept the men with no money when they cheat, why not accept the men with money that cheats. Oh really!!! Matters of the heart has no price. When you are hurt, no money or no words can soothe the way you feel when you are cheated on. It gives total distruction to the relationship, and after accepting it, trust me, it will continue. Leave him, and pray, that GOD takes over that spot that he once had.

Ed October 14, 2008, 5:08 PM

Why is it that classless whores rule in the media? And we wonder why our little girls turn out like miniature sluts because these are the examples they’re shown by “modern free-thinking women”?

Feminists sold you a big lie by telling you you can be just like men. Instead of taking positive attributes from men, many women (not all) have taken the negative ones. You’re foul-mouthed, slutty, tattooed, materialistic, shallow, and have no self-respect or morals. Men no longer respect you, and we don’t have to commit because you can get the cows for free. You’ve made your bed so enjoy it.

Cissy October 14, 2008, 5:11 PM

I have been in a relationship with a wealthy man and he never cheated, he just wanted to have relationships with other women in front of me. At first I said that would be ok because I loved him and had been cheated on and didn’t want that to ever happen again. Now it makes me sick to think about that kind of lifestyle and why I could even consider such an option. You either want ME or you don’t.

DALLAS October 14, 2008, 5:12 PM


lesa October 14, 2008, 5:15 PM

there doesnt seem to be very much real about these women. trying to understand or justify how they are portrayed seems ridiculous. couples set their own ground rules for what works for them. some people dont put a high price on fidelity.what eva!

pcd October 14, 2008, 5:21 PM

My ex wife was and is a cheating sack of dung.

Jenna October 14, 2008, 5:25 PM

I would take the $$$ - so long as he doesn’t bring home any funcky disease(s)! As a woman, if I were in this boat, I figure I could have BOTH…”What’s good for the goose is just as good for the gander”. I would have “my cake & eat it too”!
If men can do it, then women can too. It doesn’t mean were “easily bought”, but some just get tired of dealing with the one-sided bulls#$% that men get away with. Both parties come out satisfied.

Paul October 14, 2008, 5:33 PM

I happened to stop briefly on that show last week while channel-surfing. What a bunch of vapid narcissists. Ignorant, classless and tasteless trailer-trash that has stumbled into money by marrying an athlete, and will be broke within 6 months of him being cut from the team. God help them all.

julie October 14, 2008, 5:34 PM

so you are saying that as long as he is rich you would turn a blind eye towards the cheating…..why can’t you get a divorce and invest or create your own riches? why does a women’s value at that level only go as far as her husband’s value? what kid of crap is being sold to our young daughters? “hey giiiiiiiirlll as long as he is rich you better shut up and stay with him” is that what I am supposed to teach my nieces? sorry ladies I have to much pride, dignity, and self worth for that Sh*t!f*ck Kobe that stupid chic should have taken her half and found herself another young buck..from the looks of this editorial I guess women still feel it is ok to not be rich or financially comfortable and to find your self worth in a man…i’ll be dammed the day i fall into those stilletos

J Waugen October 14, 2008, 5:46 PM

Your alternative to cheating is being poor, Which is not neccesarily the case. I took an oath when I married my wife and I stood by it, not only for her sake but for my own honer. We are pushing sixty years of marraige.

Back to top >>