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Filthy Rich: Permission to Cheat?

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Momlogic's Jenny: The idea of infidelity has always seemed inexcusable to me, until I saw "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" ...

rich wife covering eyes from cheating husband

I'll admit, I'm the jealous type. I have very little tolerance for tales of relationships gone awry due to infidelity, and have always said that I would leave my husband in a heartbeat if I found out he was having an affair. But as I sat glued to the television, watching the uber-glamorous cast of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" show off their palatial estates and over-the-top lifestyles, I had a change of heart: If we were that rich, I might be able to turn a blind eye.

We've all heard the rumors and stereotypes about how athletes cheat on their wives and how the wives stay with them anyway because they are all so filthy rich. When Kobe Bryant had that scandalous and supposed "one-time" extramarital affair, many people, including me, could not believe that his wife Vanessa chose to stay with him. But as I watched "TRH of Atlanta," with every new scene and shining example of financial freedom, I kind of understood it. Everything in their life seems easy and effortless and it's all due to MONEY. I mean, if I could just buy a $3000 purse whenever I felt like it, or get my hair done by my personal hair stylist in my personal, custom-built beauty parlor in my new custom-built 15,000 sq. foot house, or host a game night in a two-lane bowling alley IN MY BASEMENT, I might not care if my husband (assuming he was an NFL or NBA player) indulges some lucky fan when he's on the road.

Obviously, not every athlete cheats when he's on the road, but "women are vultures," according to one of the stars of the show Lisa Wu Hartwell, who is married to NFL player Ed Hartwell. Lisa said that "even though they know he's married, these crazed fans will go after him even more. They're at the hotels waiting for them." But Lisa thinks that it comes down to trusting that your mate will do the right thing. "There are lot of women that I know that don't trust their mates and have caught them cheating," she says, "and it comes down to deciding whether you will tolerate that behavior or not." Lisa feels blessed for being married to someone who is so family-oriented and says she wouldn't stay married just because of their lifestyle. "You have to have your own identity," she says. "And I believe that women that are too dependent on their spouse will tolerate a lot of things."

Angela Wilder, ex-wife to famous Laker basketball star James Worthy, knows all too well what it's like to "tolerate" a cheating husband. After her husband was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, Angela tried to stay and save her marriage, which ultimately ended in divorce. In her book, "Powerful Mate Syndrome," she writes, "I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king's subject." Well, in my mind, this makes total sense. Just look at Queen Katherine who was married to Henry the VIII. She knew damn well that he was having an affair, and madly in love with Anne Boleyn, but she fought until the day she died to stay married to Henry anyway. Um, can you say crown jewels??? Hello! (BTW, "The Tudors" on Showtime ... love! Cannot wait for season 3!)

The point is, while I don't condone cheating, I can totally understand why these crazy rich women are staying in marriages knowing that their husbands have been unfaithful. And honey, if you read this, while I know you'd love to be a professional baseball player, can I just say: I'm sooo happy you're not.

Watch the second episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," tonight at 9PM ET/PT on Bravo.



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127 comments so far | Post a comment now
Liz October 14, 2008, 5:49 PM

I guess people will think twice once your cheating mate brings you back an STD! Money or not, nothing is worth that when it comes to your health because a disease is for life!

EILEEN October 14, 2008, 5:54 PM

women you need to be ladies, get some education become doctors and lawyers, what you need is to buy yourself respect.
Other wise these men are brut with their honesty..Elect Sarah.. we are treated second class, that part of why you do what you do bad girls

Estella October 14, 2008, 5:58 PM

WELL MY LOVES I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR THEM ALL BECAUSE COME TIME TO FACE GOD HOW ARE U GOING TO SAY IS THIS YOUR HUSBAND ARE YOUR MAN,GOD FORGIVES EVERYONE FOR THERE SINS BUT ITS A LIMIT TO WHAT HE FORGIVE FOR.IF YOU WILLFULLY SIN AND KEEP SINNING AND ASKING GOD HE’S GOING TO LET YOU GO AND DESTROY YOUR SELF.MEN CHEATING I’VE LIVE THAT LIFE TRYING TO STAY TO RAISE MY CHILDREN.GUEST WHAT THE ONES GOT HURT THE MOST WERE THE KIDS OF COURSE YOU WILL TO BUT U NEVER GET OVER THOSE THINGS BUT YOU CAN MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE THRU CHRIST THAT STRENGHTEN YOU. BUT CHEATERS NEVER WIN MAYBE IT LOOKS LIKE THEY DO BUT IN A LONG RUN THEY TOO WILL TELL THE STORY BEFORE THEY LEAVE THIS WORLD EITHER TO SOME ONE OR WRITE A BOOK THATS PUBLISH AFTER THEY ARE DEAD AND GONE.BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO MEET YOUR MAKER COME RAIN OR COME SHINE SO IF YOU LOVE YOUR SELF AND GOD LEAVE ALL THAT CHEATING TO SATAN I LEARN THE HARD WAY STILL LOOKING FOR MR.RIGHT AT MY AGE MAY GOD BLESS ALL THE CHEATERS SO THEY MAY STOP.MONEY CAN’T BUY LOVE IT CAN’T EVEN BUY THE HOLY GHOST.SO ALL THOSE CHEATING WIVES AND CHEATING HUSBAND THINK HOW YOU REALLY FEELING INSIDE.YOU WANT SEE IT WHILE U HAVING FUN BUT YOU HAVE A MIND TOO.

cmc October 14, 2008, 6:01 PM

Cheating is wrong It is a deal breaker and if my husband cheated he would be gone And probably the lawyers would have the money but I would have my self-respect Respect is number one!!! Character and dignity and your moral fiber is clear to everyone the minute you consider yes even consider cheating

Anonymous October 14, 2008, 6:03 PM

Plain and simple, if you allow your husband to cheat because of money, you are just hore, and should be treated like one.

MRAMERICA October 14, 2008, 6:04 PM

***********SECRET MUSLIM MAN************

THERE’S A MAN WHO PUTS US ALL IN DANGER.
HE GIVES US BULLSHIT AND REMAINS A STRANGER.
HE’S CALLED THE OBAMA MAN,
AND HE’LL TAX US ALL HE CAN!
THE ODDS ARE HE’LL SCREW UP THE WORLD TOMORROW!
SECRET MUSLIM MAN! SECTET MUSLIM MAN!
THE NAME’S BARACK OBAMA, COMMUNISM IS HIS GAME!

HE’S CAREFUL NOT TO LET HIS BACKGROUND SHOW.
AND THE HOLLYWOOD HOMOS SHOWERED HIM WITH DOUGH.
OUR ENEMIES ARE HIS FRIENDS
THIEVES AND CRIMINALS HE DEFENDS.
THE ODDS ARE HE’LL SCREW UP THE WORLD TOMMORROW.
SECRET MUSLIM MAN! SECRET MUSLIM MAN!
HIS NAME’S BARACK OBAMA, COMMUNISM IS HIS GAME.

BEWARE HIS SMILING FACE FOR YOU WILL FIND
THAT A SMILING FACE CAN HIDE AN EVIL MIND.
HE’LL TAKE YOUR GUNS AWAY
AND REPARATIONS MAKE YOU PAY
THE ODDS ARE HE’LL SCREW UP THE WORLD TOMMORROW!
SECRET MUSLIM MAN! SECRET MUSLIM MAN!
HIS NAME’S BARACK OBAMA, COMMUNISM IS HIS GAME.

Sandy October 14, 2008, 6:09 PM

Adultery is adultery. It is not permitted by God through the Ten Commandments. Have we forget about those? Being rich is not right in the eyes of God. We are to live modestly and give to the poor. Those who are rich have their glory and treasures here on earth and they should be gathering their treasures in Heaven for their eternal life. It is easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

KG October 14, 2008, 6:10 PM

Angel(page 1) I can see where you are coming from. I don’t see what you mean though by not letting one moment of weakness ruin your marriage. Doesn’t the fact that someone DID let the one weakness happen matter? I don’t agree. I think it takes alot to cheat. Its not weakness, its absolutely unforgiveable. Sleeping with someone is a very conscious motion. That being said. I would leave if they were filthy rich and cheated. However I would take some $$ with me.

cs October 14, 2008, 6:11 PM

My ex cheated on me and I forgave him because I loved him. Now that it happened again, I feel like a fool, I thought I was happy in this relationship, until I found out. Men will cheat regardless of their station in life. If he had money, I would feel better about being with him for so long.

Sophie October 14, 2008, 6:12 PM

These women willlook back when they’re 70 (for fear of looking in the mirror instead because THAT picture is not going to be pretty with years of surgery and botox!) and realize that 50 years after they’re gone, NO ONE WILL KNOW THEIR NAME. They accomplish nothing and have no dreams, no plans, no goals. They ARE depressed and keep occupy to stay in denial. That, and Prozac! They live in the shadow of men, the rest of us live to make our own place in the sun. IT’S THE JOURNEY THAT MATTERS! I DON’T WANT IT HANDED OVER!

Angiebaby October 14, 2008, 6:13 PM

If you’re in a marriage for money, then anything goes! But in a marriage based on love, trust, partnership, commitment, and mutual respect, then cheating is a no-no. Now, if we have a long term marriage and he screws up, the choice to save the marriage is a personal one. Why throw away 10 good years and a healthy family with 3 kids for a moment of indiscretion? But if it happened again? To hell with him. She can have him because he isn’t the man I fell in love with and married any more. And the lovely trappings of wealth become a guilded cage.

Anonymous October 14, 2008, 6:20 PM

Being in the lime light as an nfl,nba,
or baseball player you are more subjective to more women than you can handle cheating is very wrong to do on
your spouse there are not to many perfect relationships these days even with all the money you may have at the end of the day make the wright decision to keep your family together thats most important for you.

Jay October 14, 2008, 6:26 PM

The old story, would you do it with a complete stranger for A million dollars. Why yes , she says. Would you do it with a complete stranger for a dollar. No she screams, what do you think I am. Madam, we’ve already determined what you are, now we’re just argueing price. Paint it anyway you want , there’s the truth, period. end of discussion

Donna October 14, 2008, 6:32 PM

Prostitution is the oldest profession and that is exactly what these women are. Married or not, sex for money is prostitution. All that money isn’t going to make you happy. Growing old with somebody that you love will. I guess it will pay for a nice nursing home someday when their husband has left them for another young, stupid girl.
And to the men, lots of us have self esteem and don’t sleep around for money, just because these tramps do it doesn’t mean the rest of us are that way. Most girls would pick a real husband over a cheating rich guy.

Janine October 14, 2008, 6:34 PM

Let me reason this out. Two things the article made clear:
1) Rich men in sports have no honor.
2) Women married to same have no pride.

That being said, you can live a very pleasurable life without either trait, as long as you can face yourself. It’s strange, but I personally think that if I could reconcile myself to the lifestyle of such a wife, all would be well as long as he ceased having sex with ME. I don’t think I could ever do it with him again. On the other hand, what should he care? He has a wife to show the world, and plenty of lovers for his own private life.

I don’t know if I’d have a lover or not…that’s academic. I guess I’d amass a fortune, for both practical reasons and for revenge, then leave & find a real relationship with a guy I could trust. But I wouldn’t marry again. I’d keep myself free.

res October 14, 2008, 6:36 PM

Barack is not a muslim. You must be a racist if you believe that.

star October 14, 2008, 6:37 PM

I know men that cheat and they don’t have a dime and women stay for love not for money. So now she is in this relationship, In love, he’s disrespectful and he has the nerves to be broke or not as fortunate as the other players. Let’s all think clearly, you don’t have to be rich to cheat and most men cheat (not all) but most. Love alone never pays the bills (mom always said). So what is it that you want a broke cheater or a rich cheater. LOL Smile!

Lissa October 14, 2008, 6:41 PM

I’m confused. Everyone here says that either “A” or “B” is wrong. Can’t we take into account that people are different … that some actually get MORE joy from having children, and others from buying thousand dollar leg warmers? That just as long as we’re not hurting anyone … well … we’re not hurting anyone? Don’t tell me how I should feel about my family, my husband, or my spending habits, and I won’t tell you how I think YOU should feel about being so completely “brainwashed” into the “Being a Mommy is the only worthy goal women can have” concept.

N.G. October 14, 2008, 6:43 PM

Sadly whether you are rich or poor there is always the possibility that your man might just be swayed by that vixen that pushes all the right buttons.

The fact that you are rich doesn’t really make it hurt any less. It’s just that the trophy wife feels that, at the very least, they are getting something out of the deal for their trouble. In retrospect, the poor women whose man cheats on her is left with nothing but heartache. She doesn’t even have the luxury of a shopping spree or spa getaway. I say if you’ve got to be sad, it’s probably a little easier if you can direct someone else to bring you a drink, prepare a nice dinner and keep the kids at bay while you sulk and regroup. In either situation the children are always the real victims.

Celebrity wives come into their relationships with the same love as anyone else if they meet their husbands while they are in their formative stages. The women who meet men who are already successful probably don’t feel the same “genuine” love for the man, as much as his assets.

If I were married to a rich man I think I could forgive him once, but if it became a recurring thing where his respect for the relationship and me were just non-existent, I would leave and take a sizeable chuck of his dough with me.

My mother always told me to marry for love. She said that if you marry a man for his money, he’ll most assuredly make you earn it. I think she was right. Nevertheless, if the right guy dressed me in high couture clothing and blinged out my ears, neck, hands and wrists, I might forget all about dear old mom and her sage advice and go along for the ride.

Just keeping it real!

Janine October 14, 2008, 6:48 PM

To RES: While that Obama poem is totally out of place and irrelevant here, it doesn’t make the poet a racist. It must be obvious that you can dislike Obama’s (or McCain’s) policies intensely because they will disadvantage you, or because you think they’re not good for the country in general. It’s a bad idea to throw around words like racist, sexist, etc when the person is discussing policy.

Re Islam: disliking Islamists isn’t racist. Many Islamists are white as snow, like the Albanians. Many Christians and Jews are black. You can dislike Islamists because you dislike Islam. So you still don’t have a racist in that poem.

Islam is one of the most extreme religions going. There are good reasons for Westerners to distrust it. For one thing, the system is theocratic. To be judged b/c you broke a law that applies to everyone is one thing. But to be judged b/c you broke a religious law in this day and age is barbaric. The relationship between a person and their religion should be private.


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