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Filthy Rich: Permission to Cheat?

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Momlogic's Jenny: The idea of infidelity has always seemed inexcusable to me, until I saw "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" ...

rich wife covering eyes from cheating husband

I'll admit, I'm the jealous type. I have very little tolerance for tales of relationships gone awry due to infidelity, and have always said that I would leave my husband in a heartbeat if I found out he was having an affair. But as I sat glued to the television, watching the uber-glamorous cast of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" show off their palatial estates and over-the-top lifestyles, I had a change of heart: If we were that rich, I might be able to turn a blind eye.

We've all heard the rumors and stereotypes about how athletes cheat on their wives and how the wives stay with them anyway because they are all so filthy rich. When Kobe Bryant had that scandalous and supposed "one-time" extramarital affair, many people, including me, could not believe that his wife Vanessa chose to stay with him. But as I watched "TRH of Atlanta," with every new scene and shining example of financial freedom, I kind of understood it. Everything in their life seems easy and effortless and it's all due to MONEY. I mean, if I could just buy a $3000 purse whenever I felt like it, or get my hair done by my personal hair stylist in my personal, custom-built beauty parlor in my new custom-built 15,000 sq. foot house, or host a game night in a two-lane bowling alley IN MY BASEMENT, I might not care if my husband (assuming he was an NFL or NBA player) indulges some lucky fan when he's on the road.

Obviously, not every athlete cheats when he's on the road, but "women are vultures," according to one of the stars of the show Lisa Wu Hartwell, who is married to NFL player Ed Hartwell. Lisa said that "even though they know he's married, these crazed fans will go after him even more. They're at the hotels waiting for them." But Lisa thinks that it comes down to trusting that your mate will do the right thing. "There are lot of women that I know that don't trust their mates and have caught them cheating," she says, "and it comes down to deciding whether you will tolerate that behavior or not." Lisa feels blessed for being married to someone who is so family-oriented and says she wouldn't stay married just because of their lifestyle. "You have to have your own identity," she says. "And I believe that women that are too dependent on their spouse will tolerate a lot of things."

Angela Wilder, ex-wife to famous Laker basketball star James Worthy, knows all too well what it's like to "tolerate" a cheating husband. After her husband was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, Angela tried to stay and save her marriage, which ultimately ended in divorce. In her book, "Powerful Mate Syndrome," she writes, "I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king's subject." Well, in my mind, this makes total sense. Just look at Queen Katherine who was married to Henry the VIII. She knew damn well that he was having an affair, and madly in love with Anne Boleyn, but she fought until the day she died to stay married to Henry anyway. Um, can you say crown jewels??? Hello! (BTW, "The Tudors" on Showtime ... love! Cannot wait for season 3!)

The point is, while I don't condone cheating, I can totally understand why these crazy rich women are staying in marriages knowing that their husbands have been unfaithful. And honey, if you read this, while I know you'd love to be a professional baseball player, can I just say: I'm sooo happy you're not.

Watch the second episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," tonight at 9PM ET/PT on Bravo.

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127 comments so far | Post a comment now
anonymous October 14, 2008, 6:50 PM

I am one of those rich ladies who had a husband cheat. I suspected something was up when i went out of town so i came back early & found evidence. I confronted him w the condom to which he said he didnt know how it got there. YA RIGHT!! I was so stunned & hurt. I had a special needs son & several other kids. I didnt know how i would manage & my hubby was the love of my life. I cherished him even after 20 yrs. I went into depression…struggled for 3 yrs to make our marriage work. I finally realized he didnt love me i just thought he did. He was catholic & would never divorce me. He got into porn then escorts which i discovered by snooping thru his computer & again he denied it. I moved to another bedroom & asked for a seperation & counseling which didnt work because he denied he had any problems.He still denies it to this day.I filed for divorce when i found out he was seein escorts because i hid a recorder in his bedroom to record his conversations with his friend who also was cheating when the guys went out of town.It was final evidence for me to hear his own words..i still couldnt believe this was the man i loved & cherished…he was really someone i didnt know. I am still fighting for half of everything…I am one who will not stay married for the money i just had to have time to accept my marriage was over & how to justify divorcing for my happiness when i knew it would hurt my children. I finally could not live in the situation even to save my children from the pain. I am losing the big house, expensive cars etc but the worst thing was losing the man i would have loved forever.I never had his affection ,conversation ,love etc I just thought i did. I was just his wife & i served him.It has taken many yrs for me to “WAKE UP” I was gentle in telling the kids & yes they were hurt. They are doing ok so far. So to all who think rich women stay for the money its not true. I am leaving hopefully to find true happiness & freedom.

star October 14, 2008, 6:51 PM

N.G. You really keep it real…thumbs up!

Mel October 14, 2008, 6:58 PM

Well hey, the woman has so much money because of her husband, she can have fun cheating on him too. Hee, hee, hee.

Mike October 14, 2008, 7:01 PM

I agree, after watching some of these women, I would want to somewhere for sex too. The women don’t care, they have the lifestyle they want and who cares what their husbands does or who he does, just keep the money coming honey. I am sure they do not believe in God, because just like a Doctor if there is a God and you have to have a little chat with him someday, that behavior might be a little difficult to explain.

Mark October 14, 2008, 7:12 PM

Camels won’t ever make it thru the eye of a needle and all these people are going to hell so who cares what they do

Bob October 14, 2008, 7:13 PM

A prostitute by any other name smells just as bad

kindns October 14, 2008, 7:20 PM

Why do people get so crazy when it comes to sex?

Sex and love are not the same thing, although we do seem to prefer it when they happen to go together.

If someone loves you enough, whether rich or poor, to take on the hardships of just facing a lifetime together…..well THAT is a much more tangible proof of LOVE than whether or not they occasionaly knock boots with someone else.

Mark October 14, 2008, 7:45 PM

Money is the root of all evil. It’s too easy to overlook that one important fact.

oasis October 14, 2008, 7:46 PM

I am very well to do and would not even think of cheating. The great
relationship I have with my wife can never be replaced with guilt or money.
people who do are empty, shallow , hollow shells of people wiht no prupose in life BUT make the MONEY there morals and GOD.Americans are so pathetic to feel this entitled, its SICK.

judy October 14, 2008, 7:48 PM

In the ‘real world’ MEN cheat, rich or not!!!!

Sondra October 14, 2008, 7:53 PM

I agree with what Jayne said, “if you don’t believe in God then I guess ANYTHING GOES.” That’s what happened in sodom and Gomorrah and look what happened to those two cities. Besides being a biblical truth here is something else to think about. It is sort of like being pregnant…you are or you are not! Cheating within a marriage means that either party cheats on many things in their lives. It is just not specific to adultery. So how do you communicate, have a companion. and or build a future together with someone if it is based on lies and cheating. I was married for 33 years and my ex finally admitted to more than 13 affairs during that time. It finally ended up that he beat me up and left me on the floor of the garage. I guess I finally hd to have the truth physically beat into me. I filed for divorce 2 days later. It has now been 8 years and he has taken my son away from me in 2 custody battles. So since my son was 9 years old he has been raised by a paid maid. The only one who suffers is my son. I am still single, but looking, and I would not trade one breath to my body to go back and to live with all the amenities and car dealerships that we owned for one second. Been there, done that and it is a more than empty existence. I now use my experiences to counsel women and men to give their union of marriage everything they have, especially when there are children involved. The GREATEST gift a man can give his children is to love their Mother and visa versa. Good luck to all those who cheat because they are only showing the world that they have no character and no integrity. Do they have money and are rich? And… what!

Jane October 14, 2008, 8:00 PM

My girlfriend was open minded and allowed “limited” extra fun and games in the beginning of their marriage. Unfortunately him desires for more fun and games increased and his respect for her (his wife) decreased. First he was physically abusive. When she had him arrested (stood up for herself) the emotional abuse began. She loves him dearly but now realized she made a horrible mistake in the beginning. She also realizes that he probably hates himself that he can not accept the love from his devoted, wonderful and attractive (former model) wife. She has turned to counseling and support groups. He also has an ego and depression problem and refuses to get help. So gals, love and respect yourself and men will treat you like a Queen because your WORTH IT!!!!

LAURA October 14, 2008, 8:25 PM


Ky October 14, 2008, 8:26 PM

Well, in general, I consider cheating a symptom rather than a disease and I’d probably try to salvage the relationship, if the cheating was a one-time deal, by finding out what the disease was and curing it. However, that said, you forgot the best option - divorce the slimeball and with a good attorney, keep the money anyway. He’s the one that risked the relationship by cheating, let HIM be poor!

LAURA October 14, 2008, 8:31 PM


Keith October 14, 2008, 8:34 PM

Think people ,think !Any currency the world over is only accepted as having value, if people or countries value it. When all is said and done, it holds no everlasting value.Can these rich men or women with money barter their way out of death with that currency?Every rich person dies.One event to all of humanity.Death comes for all.We are all finite.Name one rich person who payed the grim reaper and received a death reprieve?All have gone into a whole in the ground and returned to dust.Vainly we all imagine and give money a greater power than it should have,Would you trade any monetary amount for the life of one of your children?I witnessed my Son come into this world and no amount of money, gold,silver ,diamonds,etc could ever be paid to me that would equal that event.I have a beautiful caring wife, whom I trust, that no mountain of gold could be offered to replace her.I had opportunities to be with all kinds of beautiful women,but I was looking for more than appearance.i was rejected by a great number of women because I had no “real money”.I hope all those women that rejected me found what they were looking for and the “real money” loves them and keeps them warm at night.Look at our current World.The U.S. Government is having to bail out a broken monetery system.To the tune of 700 Billion dollars.Cross the Atlantic Ocean and the Europeon are bailng out their broken finacial system to the tune of over 2 Trillion dollars.A Nations money holds worth as long as other countries view it as having value and it holds value within its own country of origin.Inflation can cause any currency to be of less value than the paper it is printed on.In Nazi Germany at the end it took hundreds of thousand of Germanys’ eqivulant of our dollar to purchase a loaf of bread.Have any of you ever seen a amoured car loaded with money following a funeral procession to the grave yard? Great Kings in Egypt tried to take some of their wealth with them.What happened to it?Grave robbers got the majority of it.

Marla October 14, 2008, 9:33 PM

May I remind you that Kobe Bryant did not have an “affair.” He raped that girl in Colorado.

CF98 October 14, 2008, 9:43 PM

Correction he was accused and then charged of raping the girl in Colorado it was never proven either way since there was no trial. Then of course she dropped the legal case and filed a civil suit before hand so she can collect her paycheck.

But back to the topic at hand, I have a hard time feeling bad for women who marry into money. You married the bank account not the man deal with it. Now if you married the man on wanting him to be faithful etc then yes I can understand the betrayal however how they handle it is their business. If they want to stay despite it fine if they don’t that’s also fine. Its their life after all.

Dva October 14, 2008, 10:50 PM

Correction: It is the LOVE of money that is the root of all evil…

Wilma October 15, 2008, 9:17 AM

So if you are married to a rich guy for the money, and you don’t care if he cheats, aren’t you just a high-priced prostitute?

You marry for love. If you marry for money, you are nothing more than a prostitute.

You don’t have to marry a rich guy. Go out and become rich yourself instead of relying on a man…

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