Guest blogger Dani Klein Modisett: I'm completely depleted, exhausted most of the time, and can't stand the DD breasts I am toting around. And even though I just went to the doctor yesterday and he suggested I start to wean my 15-month-old, I still don't want to do it. Dr. Chin calmly told me the baby is fine, that he can get nutrients from food now and I have to consider my own health. But I don't want to.
I am starting to feel like an addict. Every morning I tell myself, "Today we will only nurse twice." Then around 10 in the morning, Gideon gets fussy and doesn't like his sippy cup and after all, I'm right here, what's the big deal? He's not going to breast feed in college for god's sake.
Then this morning I remembered what Chin said, "I think that's why they invented chocolate milk, frankly. Breast milk is sweeter than cow's milk, so the baby is never going to be the one to stop it. It's up to you. Unless you want him unbuttoning your blouse and saying, 'Mommy I want boobie!'" He didn't say that last line about boobie. I don't know what he said because I stopped listening. I don't want anyone telling me to stop even if it is killing me. Of course it's not killing me, but it is sucking the life out of me -- pun intended.
And just like an addict, I'm afraid to stop. Breast feeding is the only experience I can have with my baby that no one else can. I'm afraid if we stop, I'll be just another grown up who hugs him.
Maybe my husband should do an intervention. Boobie Anonymous? Anyone?
|Dani Klein Modisett is the mother of 1-year-old Gideon (pictured) and 5-year-old Gabriel. She is comedy writer/creator/producer of the show "Afterbirth...stories you won't read in Parents magazine." An anthology of stories from this show will be published by St. Martin's Press, in stores in May 2009.|