twitter facebook stumble upon rss

I Told My Husband to Get a "Happy Ending"

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

I don't consider it cheating -- and when he finally got his "massage," I was happy for him!

husband excited to get a happy ending massage

Guest blogger, Gina: About four years ago while my husband and I were out to dinner with friends, the subject of "full service" massages came up. My husband said he had never had one and the men at the table seemed surprised -- apparently men get them at least once before they get married. Anyway, I told him that if he had any interest that I wouldn't mind if he went for it. Ever since that day, my friends and I had been wondering when he would actually go through with it.

About every other month, he went for a massage. Sometimes to places that seemed on the up and up and sometimes to places that you think may offer the full rubdown. Every time he would come back I'd ask, "Well?" He never could get it done -- and we continued to razz him about it. We all knew he wanted to do it and it was pretty adorable to see him try and fail.

Then one day, he traveled to Asia for business. He and his friends went to a massage parlor. Apparently over there, the menu is more blatant. They even offer "full service" -- and they mean it. He opted for partial -- hands only. He proudly called me up immediately after to tell me all the details. When I answered the phone he said to me, "Fresh Pepper?" I knew exactly what he meant and we laughed for about 60 seconds straight. He told me that when some of his co-workers opted out because they were married, he bragged about the fact he had permission.

Call me naive, but I think his honesty is because of my open-mindedness. I mean, is he really going to run off with a happy ending masseuse? And if he does, do I want to be married to him anyway? I'm not sure if he'll do it again, but I think the whole thing is a testament to our connection and of course, makes a great story. So, ladies -- I recommend the happy-ending-go-ahead. I've never trusted my husband more.

David Duchovny Jim Bakker

next: Rebecca Romjin and Jerry O'Connell Prep for Parenthood
173 comments so far | Post a comment now
Everyone Listen Up December 19, 2008, 10:45 PM

Nor do you have the right to slander possible situations or people and take stab at how they want to live their life, or what they believe/don’t believe in.

Evolution has spoken.

phil February 13, 2009, 1:48 PM

Here’s a guy perspective. If my wife were to give me the sexual green light, I may think about it but never really do it. Life gives us enough problems without adding this on top of it. I also believe there are a lot of guys, in the world, that would do the same thing. Like the ‘Sienfeld’ episode our brains would finally over rule our penis’. The right to choose is one of life’s absolutes. Anyone can choose what to do but sometimes we may not like the consequences of the those choices. My position is that marriage is the greatest trust relationship we will enter into in this life. If trust is thrown around carelessly, it is very difficult to regain. My best wishes to this couple and their relationship. Hope everything works out for the best.

Diana March 15, 2009, 4:52 PM

To those of you who don’t recognize the behavior, Tiffany seems to be a swinger. From those I’ve talked with in my practice, these women and their mates tend to get bored with what the other can provide. Therefore, they do not practice sexual exclusivity. They want the stability marriage provides but look for a mate who is willing to allow this outlet. Sometimes this is achieved by finding a partner without parity or who fears losing them. Other times, each partner is somewhat narcissistic and shallow. They don’t tend to consider it cheating if the other is informed of their intention to have sex with others. They may also be voyeurs who like observing their partners “getting it on.”
The majority of Americans seem to regard their behavior as deviant, hence they tend to be secretive about satisfying their wants.
The original poster here is probably moving in their direction which is probably something Tiffany recognizes. In fact, she would probably help the OP transition to that stage given the opportunity.

amy April 13, 2009, 9:17 PM

Ok so I’m a bit late but after reading this i had to have my two cents worth. I don’t think its considered cheating if you say to your husband go nuts have fun, I mean you cant get pissy about it afterwards if you say do it. Its sort of like a threesome. But for those women out there who dont say its ok and there husbands do it IT IS DEFFINATELY CHEATING no question about it. If my partner said to me I’m going to the strippers and getting a lapdance I’d probably end the relationship, fact of the matter is if my partner wants another girl to rub him up or rub her junk all over him, regardless of whether or not he would leave me for her, its wrong to me. It would be just like if he met a girl and he let her play with him or had a girl take off her clothes and dance on top of him…just because they pay for it doesn’t mean its not cheating.

Mark May 8, 2009, 2:10 AM

Since I’ve been married I’m not even very comfortable being in the same room alone with a woman. It’s a discipline not to go to strip clubs and all the rest, since I travel alot. I have never done so, and the benefits in our marriage have been fantastic. After 14 years I’ve never been so attracted to my wife and the sex just gets better and better. A little exlusivity & discipline helps you love your wife even more. In my experience and in the experience of plenty of people like me through history: I’m getting a much “happier ending” than your husband is. You’re both settling for second best instead of committing to each other.

Sharkzz May 14, 2009, 7:37 AM

OK I reckon you wives should let us husbands have sex with another woman while you watch. AND you should be happy to send us to a “rub and tug”4
massage lady. Nude body slides are the BEST !! I KNOW that mostly ALL wives couldn’t be bothered to pleaseure their husband with a massage and a tug. TOO much effort isnt it ladies? My wife couldnt be bothered to so she said to me to go and pay for it. I said I would be happy to pay HER, my wife but she couldnt be bothered doing it to me. SO I go and pay for it . WIVES make their husbands go off and pay for sex, hands on feelies and and it makes us feel wanted .As I say, if you don’t provide it, then we have a right , as a human being who needs physical and feeling affection to go get it elsewhere. Most wives kill the fun in their husbands lives. SO EASE up ..

?? May 24, 2009, 10:11 PM

I think Kate is right , Why get married if you dont plan to be faithful I would of never got married if I dindn’t plan to be only with my hubby but not every body thinks the same way and for the ones that decide to have more than one person and are ok with that well its their life but as some one else said they place this on the blog so they made it public for others to give their opinion its not to judge just giving their point of view

Kags August 16, 2009, 8:41 PM

I’m not sure if I could tbh. Every time I think about cheating on my love… Just no. :/ Does that make me a pansy?

Kehcmara August 16, 2009, 8:43 PM

It may be fine for them,that doesn’t stop from thinking it’s rather disgusting.

I would never desire any other womans hands on me than my wife’s,nor would I give her the “go ahead” for some other man to masturbate her to orgasm.

I lament the death of intimacy and loyalty in this day and age.

Barnegat Blummis August 16, 2009, 8:45 PM

This is the first step toward divorce. You just don’t recognize it. Why are you married in the first place? Why not just live with each other and bring an occasional lover home to screw in the same sheets? What does commitment mean to you? Little by little, as you both begin to find your intimate enjoyments elsewhere, you drift away from each other. An ‘open marriage’ is simply a name for people who are on the road toward breakup. Face it. Give your husband the handjob he needs and deserves. And then insist that he reciprocate for you.

Warmlighting August 17, 2009, 12:48 AM

Well, I mean there are plenty of guys that actually go all out and have sex with other women… and don’t want to leave their wives, him running off after is almost a separate issue, some want anything but, they are hardset against having a divorce, but still have their hands in someone else’s cookie jar.
I guess it depends on what is important to you, what monogamy means to you and whether you want it. If you do not want your husband with another woman do not give your go ahead, same the other way around, if they do it, do you want to be with them anyway? If it works for you fine, there are plenty of “situations” that work for different people, and have since time.

Dean November 6, 2009, 2:41 PM

I do really admire your open mindness towards this situation, but I just wonder where you would draw the line. I mean how about if your husband just wanted to kiss his co-worker? I mean without intentions of running off with her. Whats your line?

happyman November 9, 2009, 3:24 PM

Thailand is the place to go. Don’t mess around in the states. Thai girls are true professionals at the trade.

Cathy June 28, 2010, 10:04 PM

Tiffany, would love to see where you and your hubby, and the author and her hubby are in 5, 10 yrs. This is such a sickening article, and shows just how naive and deceived some people really are. I’m thankful, too, that the majority are in favor of faithfulness and regard this as wrong.

bbeach September 7, 2010, 12:56 PM

Personally, I think monogamy (or the virtue of monogamy) in many ways is just an illusion. Sex is not immoral, you will never be able to convince me otherwise, as long as it is done safely. Having sex with many people is NOT immoral and you do not have better morals if you choose a mutually exclusive relationship. Some people are just NOT cut out for a 1on1 relationship 100% of the time and people need to realize this does not make them morally degenerate or “gross” in some way, it just makes them who they are.

At least this women has the satisfaction of knowing that her husband will TALK about it with her, suggesting an openness in their relationship that is nigh-unmatched. I have a feeling if this husband screws up, dialogue is his first option, with hiding being the last. Think about that.

bbeach September 7, 2010, 12:58 PM

Also, prostitution is not immoral. Women are free to do what they want with their bodies.

Buy Facebook Fan December 9, 2010, 5:06 PM

Hi,I love reading via your weblog, I sought after to depart a bit comment to support you and need you a just right continuation. Wishing you the best of success for your whole running a blog efforts.

online payday loan December 10, 2010, 5:29 AM

Certainly together with your thoughts here and that i love your site! I’ve bookmarked it to ensure that I am able to go back & read more later on.

payday loans online December 10, 2010, 6:08 AM

Kudos for posting a real useful weblog. Your blog isn’t only informative but very artistic too. There are often very few individuals who can write not so simple articles that creatively. Sustain the excellent writing !!

pay day loan December 10, 2010, 7:38 AM

Hi I ran across this great site in error after i was searching yahoo because of this issue, I must say your site is really helpful Also i love the theme, its amazing!. I dont have that much time to read your complete post at the moment but We have bookmarked it and in addition subscribed to your RSS feeds. I am the government financial aid a few days. thank you for a great site.

Back to top >>