Momlogic's Melissa: What the f*** is wrong with men that they can't do more than one thing at a time?
When I first had my son there were many a day when you could have found me strolling the aisles of Target, pushing a shopping cart, talking on the phone, following a list I had written, WHILE breastfeeding. Yes folks, WHILE breastfeeding. Now, for all the women (in particular moms) out there this comes as no shock, no surprise and might even elicit a "big deal!" from some. Why? Because we can do more that one goddamned thing at once.
We can drive AND read a map at the same time (and pass snacks into the back seat if needed). We can make sandwiches WHILE we talk to the gas company on the phone and -- miracles of all miracles -- we can actually think AND respond to questions at the same time.
Why is it then that men (my husband in particular) behave as if their heads are going to pop off if they have to do two things at once?
Last night my son's little car rolled under the TV and he asked my husband to get it. Slightly annonyed that he had to get on all fours to get it in the first place, you can imagine his reaction when I dared, deigned, had the sheer audacity to ask him a question when he was "doing something." "WAIT!!!" he half-yelled, "I can't do two things at once!" WTF??? Was he joking? Had the blood rushed to his head while bending down and he no longer knew what he was saying? Sadly the answer was "no."
At first I was mad -- but then I got sad because I realized how far my beloved husband had actually fallen; he could not longer do something AND talk at the same time. In his youth my husband was a male multitasking machine -- he could walk AND talk at the same time, he could have a conversation while watching TV and once in a very blue moon he might even have answered my question WHILE talking to someone else on the phone.
But alas, those days are over and now I quietly dread the day when he announces that he can't answer the question I just asked him because he is too busy breathing!