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Men Who Date "Real" Dolls

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If you thought "Lars And The Real Girl" was pure fiction, think again. You may remember Ryan Gosling's Oscar-nominated role in the film about a lonely man who sends away for a RealDoll. He makes her a part of his family, brings her in public, dresses her and essentially loves her. This scenario isn't exclusive to the movies. We spoke to men who actually date these dolls as if they are real companions. These are not your average blow-up dolls. The men we spoke to spent from $500 to $9700 on their dolls. Before you judge them, check out their stories ...

"Pit Viper" is a 45-year-old Internet security specialist at a large company in Rhode Island. He is a divorced father of two adult sons. He says he initially got his dolls for snuggling purposes. The fact that he could have sex with them was secondary. He says that the biggest misconception about doll owners is that they are pedophiles, rapists, sick, twisted, perverted or worse. He says they are basically just regular people who happen to like dolls as companions. His sons do not know about his dolls, but his girlfriend does. When momlogic asked him if he loved his dolls, he explained: It's the same kind of love a man would have for a motorcycle.
"Friend" is a 30-something virgin who has never even kissed a girl. He actually spoke to us through one of his dolls, Vanessa, who refers to him as "Friend." He learned about RealDolls from watching TV. He was lonely and wanted a girlfriend -- a real girlfriend -- but it didn't look like one was in the cards. So he figured that by getting a RealDoll, he'd get to have both sex and companionship, two things he wanted badly -- but not badly enough to settle for the wrong person. He was forced to tell his mother because, like any son, he wanted to share his girlfriend with his family. She actually loaned him over $2000 for the purchase of his "companion." She, of course, would like him to date a real-life person. When asked if he's less lonely now that he has the dolls, Vanessa told us that "Friend" is still lonely, but feels less desperate. He is finishing up his studies to become a biologist.

Alex is 30-year-old computer specialist. Also a virgin, he was forced to move out of his mother's house once she learned about his desire to own a RealDoll. He also only spoke to us through his doll, Jenna. She told us that because of her, he is less desperate for sex and to find a girlfriend. She is a not a substitute for the real thing, however, that's something he still wants.
Momlogic spoke to Amanda Thompson who is the Media and Public Relations Coordinator for RealDoll ...

Momlogic: How many RealDolls are ordered a year?
Amanda: We sell about a doll a day, give or take. There are roughly 4000 dolls in existence at this time, and at any given time we have between 80 and 100 orders in the queue.

ML: Who is your typical customer?
Amanda: We do not keep demographics such as age, sex, race, or job title of our customers. That being said, we also have a very broad spectrum of clients from all walks of life and a wide range of ages from early 20s onward. We believe our primary age range of male clients to be between 55 and 65 but this is an estimation.

ML: How much do they cost?
Amanda: Standard dolls cost $6,499 plus shipping (between $500 and $1050 depending on final destination). Upgrades are available (eyes, hair eyebrows, custom skin tones, etc.) A single doll can end up costing $10,000 depending on the level of customization, and a purely custom doll not based on any of our standard options starts at $50,000.

ML: Do you think RealDolls are helping people?
Amanda: Absolutely. These dolls serve many purposes, from allowing socially awkward men to have relationships within their own comfort zones and establish all the rules, to acting as a stepping stone for people interested in experimenting with new activities without the risk of disease, to acting as photography models (and not sex objects at all.) I'm sure there are many other uses as well. I have a doll myself, that lives in my office. I use her as a life-size Barbie -- I change her outfits at least once a week, and it's a lot of fun. I would never use her for sex though.

ML: How much of this do you think is sex and how much is companionship?
Amanda: This varies from person to person. I know some of our clients just want the dolls for sex only -- they do not give their dolls names (to them the dolls are elaborate masturbatory toys and nothing more) and others create intricate backgrounds for their dolls that include names, personalities, and even histories. Some doll owners have created online journals told from their doll's perspective (I've done this too on my blog.)


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43 comments so far | Post a comment now
Fine with me October 17, 2008, 3:50 PM

They aren’t hurting any body. It’s fine by me.

she October 17, 2008, 3:51 PM

WHAT THE F?????

mama_chita October 17, 2008, 4:38 PM

What will I do if my son grows up and decides he wants one of these?
Good thing he’s only three. :)

Idieh74 October 17, 2008, 5:11 PM

I think maybe we should introduce these weirdos and the weirdo ladies who play with dolls. Oh wait they would probably fight over them. Nevermind.

trisha October 17, 2008, 5:15 PM

I think this could inhibit men from finding and seeking out a real live relationship in the long run.

Trisha
momdot.com

Beckie October 17, 2008, 5:32 PM

I don’t see any problem with it, it doesn’t hurt anyone. But asking your mom for the money?? WTF? That’s nuts! If you can’t afford to move out of mommy’s basement, you can’t afford a $6,000 sex toy.

bigwally October 17, 2008, 6:47 PM

i love my doll. she doesn’t cry when i smack her around, or give me lip when i ask her to do things!

Pit_Viper October 17, 2008, 6:53 PM

I think the article touched on the basics, but there is a whole other story to it.

Trisha - I tend to doubt that owning these will inhibit any guys (or women for that matter) to seek out a live relationship. On the contrary, many people (myself included) have girlfriends or wives. Sure, some use these dolls as a gap to fill in for a live relationship, and there are indeed some that do not want a live relationship and instead have one with a doll. It’s a very diverse group of people we’re dealing with.

Fine by me - Absolutely is correct. It hurts nobody. Somebody in the community made a comment that “We did not invent masterbation, we just improved it somewhat”. Some simply use these for that purpose. Others use them for photographic work. Others keep them as works of art. And those practices hurt no one.

mama_chita - The fact that your son is three, by the time he gets to be my age, dolls would have evolved so advanced and possibly become mainstream that almost everyone will want one. Eventually, they may be endorsed as a viable option to prevent the spread of STDs, law enforcement may endorse them as a deterrent to sex crimes, endorsed by phycologists as a means to treat people with disorders (like in Lars, as an example) There are many possibilities. Like people, years ago, were in the closet simply because they are gay, now can stand there and tell me “I’m gay”, and I’d respond back “So?” Before, society would have stigmatized that. Now they are accepted. This will eventually happen to doll owners.

Idieh74 - This comment speaks of total ignorance on the subject. “Wierdo” is hardly the word I would choose. But then again, to the uninformed, we’re also known as “Ppedophiles, potential serial killers, rapists, necrophiles, etc”. Yes I own two, but that does not compel me to rape a women, start a killing spree in town, or dig up a corpse to have sex with. People who have a fear of something new, or cannot open the mind to new possibilities, often attack in this way because it is hard to comprehend, and the only way of defense is to make uninformed claims. I find that the community, by and large, are just as normal as you are. They just happen to have a unique hobby.

And Beckie, what makes you assume that the dude “lives in mommies basement”? And even if he did, so what? What does that have to do with the article? In fact, given the s**t economy we have, bordering on depression, you’re going to see a lot more young adults living in “mommies basement”.

And BTW, my youngest son still lives with me, and he hardly lives in a “basement”

With that, the article was pretty good, although it only taps a small portion of, to paraphrase Paul Harvey, the rest of the story. By and large though, what you see are people who happen to have dolls, for various reasons, who are not sick, twisted, perverse, or on a non stop killing spree.

You see regular people. Welcome to Planet Earth.

With that, stay safe.

- Pit_Viper
Reply © Moonport Productions

Jennifer realdoll October 17, 2008, 10:37 PM

Beckie, with all due respect but if there’s people who dont want or can’t be with a realgirl your suppost to ask why not?. Not judge them for something they probbably have a reason for doing.

i used to be with RG’s because i thought they care about how i feel the same way i care about how they feel. now i have a RD because she looks good.

one of the above is a illusion, the other is not.

people commenly say i’m suppost to be with a RG to have sex with but at the same time i’m suppost to not trust her.

if i ever figure out how to have sex with a RG and not care about her i’ll dump the RD and give it a go, till that time you clean up your own mess and not look for the fools who care more about you then you do to do it for you living in a illusion you can use sex as the means to dragg them into your problems.

if you aren’t afraid to have to take care of your own, then i’m not sure why you bother responding here for anyways.

if you can’t realise the difference between a RD and a RG i think i’m the one who should feel sorry for you, not the other way around.

i wonder, why do you have such a low selfasteam for anyways ?

Midiman October 17, 2008, 10:42 PM

In over two years of close contact with many owners and more than 20 personal interviews, I can say that Pit Viper’s reference to ‘cars’ is not too far off. What a great hobby for the wannabe fashion photographer, or salon worker. Also, when evaluated without the influence of religious and social indoctrination, the dolls are a very logical device for emulating sex. But there are as many owners and reasons for owning these dolls as there are for cars. Within the demographic of doll owners there are married, single, doctors, authors, unemployed, minimum wage earners, those with social disorders, and those with strong libidos, couples where dolls compensate for unbalanced libidos, caused by an illness, disability. There are those that have them for fantasy play, photography, cuddling (70% of Teddy Babe Owners). There are also male dolls which are predominantely owned by males and also a small percentage of females owning female dolls. The percentage of Lars type personalities amongst this group extremely low. Most know exactly what they have. Most have peaceful loving non-violent personalities. Many would make an excellent and understanding companion for a quadrapalegic as the demands of living with an 80 to 110 pound doll are not unlike those of living with a quadrapalegic, but much less rewarding. One almost universally agreed on fact…Most doll owners do desire to have relationships with human companions.

Only in rare cases would the dolls actually hinder an owner’s ability or desire to seek human companionship, and in many cases reduce anxiety by helping to reduce sexual frustration or as one owner, a middle aged doctor stated, “allow me to get the sex out of the way so when I go out on a date, sex isn’t foremost on my mind. I can concentrate more on the interaction and social compatibility.”

Let’s face it, if a woman feels threatened by an inanimate surrogate female companion that can neither initiate nor interact, it is more likely she is suffering from low self esteem or reacting more from social or religious conditioning. And if the dolls do provide comfort to those who own them and help them to lead a happier life with or without human companionship, is this not better than the alternative?

And speaking of social impact, or feeling threatened, the ‘Goons’ from Something Awful.com have already picked up on this thread. Some have taken it upon themselves to beat on, chastise tease, harass and if possible, ‘rid the world’ of these ‘Dollfu#kers’ as they have labeled them. You have to ask yourself, who is more a threat to society - peaceful, non-violent doll owners or sociopathic bullies that seek out anyone who does not fit their ‘master race’ model and use that as an excuse to inflict pain and suffering.

And back on the subject of cars for my parting remark…perhaps with escalating fuel costs the dolls provide a ‘ride’ at a much better bargain AND some much needed exercise. “Use it or lose it!”, my wife has always said :) Go Green!

Cheers,
Midiman





Playtime. October 18, 2008, 3:21 AM

G’day everyone,….

After reading this artical that dose’nt even cover the tip of the subject I have to agree with Pit_viper and Midiman here.

I find it interesting that the reaction most who don’t know anything about this subject seem to voise a negative reaction rather than do any reserch and educate themselfs on the subject.

I see no problems here and find the dolls realy beutiful myself.

What an interesting item to have around the house as a novelty or as art.


Playtime.

ashley October 18, 2008, 8:51 AM

I’m just curious, what do you mean in the article where it said you talked to one on the men through his doll?? I don’t get it????

Pit_Viper October 18, 2008, 9:29 AM

Ashley, basically what that means is they intervewed the individule, but the “doll” was talking. Just as people have nicknames on forums, blogs, etc, the individules nickname happens to be their dolls name. Basically speaking in the “third person” perspective.

RealCurious October 18, 2008, 11:49 AM

Jennifer realdoll - Speaking of “cleaning your own mess,” how do these owners clean their dolls? Do they shower with them - and more specifically, what about orifices?

SAnity October 18, 2008, 2:18 PM

These doll owners have taken over the comments here. They always get indignant when a truthful article is written about them and want to get their biased say in.
Midiman is the owner of a company that sells plush dolls for sex so he’s just trying to get a good word in for profit
Don’t listen to anything they say. They’re a bunch of pathetic lonely men. Pit_Viper is the chief among these. He films children and has a perverted love for child-like dolls.

SAnity October 18, 2008, 2:20 PM

By the way, Playtime is a dollowner too trying to pretend like he is impartial and just agrees with Midiman and PV. They are all actually good friends on thedollforum.com.

Leesa October 18, 2008, 2:28 PM

The assertion that a woman who feels “threatened” by one of these sex dolls must be suffering from low self-esteem is bizarre.
The man who prefers one of these things is much more likely to have low self-esteem, and be unable to deal with a woman or carry out the negotiation, compromise, and mutual respect and understanding required of a good relationship.
He may be timid and retiring, and somewhat endearing—or he very well may be a bossy, domineering, quarrelsome, self-centered and selfish jerk, hostile to and resentful of women. He prefers his toy Stepford wives that he can control totally to the real women in his life, who have their own identities and wills.
He is as much an omega male as the shy virgin, because he lacks the strength of character a real man possesses to establish a partnership with a strong, independent woman that is based on empathy, understanding and respect.
As mothers, we need to encourage our sons to be achievers, to have self-confidence based on successful performance in all areas, especially including interactions with women.
A capable young man, content with himself, will attract capable young women with whom he can deal with as equals.
If we perceive that our son as he enters puberty has emotional difficulties or perhaps exhibits signs of high-functioning autism, we should seek professional help to alleviate the problem, rather than wait for the day he grows up to a life of dysfunctional relationships with women, ending up expending his emotional energy on a piece of plastic junk.

Leesa October 18, 2008, 2:29 PM

The assertion that a woman who feels “threatened” by one of these sex dolls must be suffering from low self-esteem is bizarre.
The man who prefers one of these things is much more likely to have low self-esteem, and be unable to deal with a woman or carry out the negotiation, compromise, and mutual respect and understanding required of a good relationship.
He may be timid and retiring, and somewhat endearing—or he very well may be a bossy, domineering, quarrelsome, self-centered and selfish jerk, hostile to and resentful of women. He prefers his toy Stepford wives that he can control totally to the real women in his life, who have their own identities and wills.
He is as much an omega male as the shy virgin, because he lacks the strength of character a real man possesses to establish a partnership with a strong, independent woman that is based on empathy, understanding and respect.
As mothers, we need to encourage our sons to be achievers, to have self-confidence based on successful performance in all areas, especially including interactions with women.
A capable young man, content with himself, will attract capable young women with whom he can deal with as equals.
If we perceive that our son as he enters puberty has emotional difficulties or perhaps exhibits signs of high-functioning autism, we should seek professional help to alleviate the problem, rather than wait for the day he grows up to a life of dysfunctional relationships with women, ending up expending his emotional energy on a piece of plastic junk.

Caligasti October 18, 2008, 3:26 PM

To RealCurious: You can see in some threads on dollforum.com how these people clean various dolls. Some have drains, many have “vaginal inserts” that may be removed and rinsed out. A lot of them claim to use Femdoms (female condoms), and a few even re-use those. Yeah.

Just to be clear, I am indeed a member of Something Awful, that group “midiman” is speaking of. If anybody wants links to forum threads and information about these doll owners I am willing to provide.

SAnity: That’s right. “playtime” is a prevallent member on dollforum and dollchronicles. He only just became a doll owner, though. After years of wanting one he ordered it a few months ago and has possibly gone and picked up the crate in the last few days. He certainly doesn’t just want to admire it as art.

Magnolia October 18, 2008, 4:25 PM

Hmmm…..and we already know that many men have a hard time with intimacy.

And this is going to help?


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