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Men Who Date "Real" Dolls

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If you thought "Lars And The Real Girl" was pure fiction, think again. You may remember Ryan Gosling's Oscar-nominated role in the film about a lonely man who sends away for a RealDoll. He makes her a part of his family, brings her in public, dresses her and essentially loves her. This scenario isn't exclusive to the movies. We spoke to men who actually date these dolls as if they are real companions. These are not your average blow-up dolls. The men we spoke to spent from $500 to $9700 on their dolls. Before you judge them, check out their stories ...

"Pit Viper" is a 45-year-old Internet security specialist at a large company in Rhode Island. He is a divorced father of two adult sons. He says he initially got his dolls for snuggling purposes. The fact that he could have sex with them was secondary. He says that the biggest misconception about doll owners is that they are pedophiles, rapists, sick, twisted, perverted or worse. He says they are basically just regular people who happen to like dolls as companions. His sons do not know about his dolls, but his girlfriend does. When momlogic asked him if he loved his dolls, he explained: It's the same kind of love a man would have for a motorcycle.
"Friend" is a 30-something virgin who has never even kissed a girl. He actually spoke to us through one of his dolls, Vanessa, who refers to him as "Friend." He learned about RealDolls from watching TV. He was lonely and wanted a girlfriend -- a real girlfriend -- but it didn't look like one was in the cards. So he figured that by getting a RealDoll, he'd get to have both sex and companionship, two things he wanted badly -- but not badly enough to settle for the wrong person. He was forced to tell his mother because, like any son, he wanted to share his girlfriend with his family. She actually loaned him over $2000 for the purchase of his "companion." She, of course, would like him to date a real-life person. When asked if he's less lonely now that he has the dolls, Vanessa told us that "Friend" is still lonely, but feels less desperate. He is finishing up his studies to become a biologist.

Alex is 30-year-old computer specialist. Also a virgin, he was forced to move out of his mother's house once she learned about his desire to own a RealDoll. He also only spoke to us through his doll, Jenna. She told us that because of her, he is less desperate for sex and to find a girlfriend. She is a not a substitute for the real thing, however, that's something he still wants.
Momlogic spoke to Amanda Thompson who is the Media and Public Relations Coordinator for RealDoll ... 

Momlogic: How many RealDolls are ordered a year?  
Amanda: We sell about a doll a day, give or take. There are roughly 4000 dolls in existence at this time, and at any given time we have between 80 and 100 orders in the queue. 

ML: Who is your typical customer? 
Amanda: We do not keep demographics such as age, sex, race, or job title of our customers. That being said, we also have a very broad spectrum of clients from all walks of life and a wide range of ages from early 20s onward. We believe our primary age range of male clients to be between 55 and 65 but this is an estimation. 

ML: How much do they cost? 
Amanda: Standard dolls cost $6,499 plus shipping (between $500 and $1050 depending on final destination). Upgrades are available (eyes, hair eyebrows, custom skin tones, etc.) A single doll can end up costing $10,000 depending on the level of customization, and a purely custom doll not based on any of our standard options starts at $50,000. 

ML: Do you think RealDolls are helping people? 
Amanda: Absolutely. These dolls serve many purposes, from allowing socially awkward men to have relationships within their own comfort zones and establish all the rules, to acting as a stepping stone for people interested in experimenting with new activities without the risk of disease, to acting as photography models (and not sex objects at all.) I'm sure there are many other uses as well. I have a doll myself, that lives in my office. I use her as a life-size Barbie -- I change her outfits at least once a week, and it's a lot of fun. I would never use her for sex though. 

ML: How much of this do you think is sex and how much is companionship? 
Amanda: This varies from person to person. I know some of our clients just want the dolls for sex only -- they do not give their dolls names (to them the dolls are elaborate masturbatory toys and nothing more) and others create intricate backgrounds for their dolls that include names, personalities, and even histories. Some doll owners have created online journals told from their doll's perspective (I've done this too on my blog.)

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43 comments so far | Post a comment now
noquiexis October 18, 2008, 5:31 PM

People always fear what they do not understand. We at the Doll Forum are working to educate people to remove fear and anxiety, and to replace that with understanding.

Doll ownership is a lot of work. The dolls can do nothing for themselves, and often require maintenance and cleaning. The skills needed for doll care include, but are not limited to wardrobe and dressing, hairstyling, makeup, and photographic skills (everything from posing to set design).

Add to that some of these dolls could weigh well over 100 pounds, and it is the same as caring for a quardrpalegic human, as midiman stated above.

The care that doll owners put into their hobby gives them a greater understanding and appreciation for the needs of real people, especially for people who are unable to help themselves.

Some use dolls as a substitute for real people, and there are couples who use them to augment their relationship. Some doll owners have increased confidence in themselves, and have moved on to better relationships with real people. The ownership of dolls has brought some people together who would otherwise have never met in real life.

Not everyone will accept dolls or doll owners without some reservations. Not everyone accepted the horseless carriage when it first appeared! :-)

My advice to those, “Don’t knock it until you have tried it!”

By the way, I have two identical inflatable dolls, and they make excellent models for my studio! I look forward to the day when I can afford a high end silicone doll.

Pit_Viper October 18, 2008, 5:48 PM

SAnity - Seems to me you have a big problem. Perhaps it was you that kept crank calling midiman and proclaimed over the telephone that “All dollf**kers should be exterminated”

Just to give the future readership here a heads up on SAnity and Caligasti. These guys are nothing more than trolls (Caligasti being the bigger offender) who go to various doll related sites to steal posts, pictures, and cause general trouble on these forums, then go back to their own forums and post bits and pieces of information they gleen off these sites for use in slander.

These are the people that are refered to in the article, regarding people who think a person who owns one is a serial killer, gay, necrophile, pedophile, etc.

They also troll the web looking for trouble (and here is no exception). That snipe from SAnity is just a small example. These people either suffer from a serious phobia in dolls, or simply cannot afford one of their own so they bash those who do.

It’s such an extreme that midiman, who owns a production company, started receiving crank calls throughout the day and night. In another case of an owner, who was moving to a new home, they were planning on disrupting the move. In one case, said that we should all be exterminated, and even to the point that these people are trying to find my R/L address, phone number, etc, for the express purpose of either harrassment, or in the worst case, possible bodily harm.

These two are an example of an extremest group. Just like the KKK who hates anyone who’s African American, or the Nazis who hate the Jews, these guys have some irrational, deep biting hatred for people who own one of these things. Most normal people with a thought process of their own would either say “The guy owns a doll? Thats weird” or “Guy owns a doll? So?”. Unfortunately, these people don’t have an independent thought process. They follow the Internets version of “mob mentality”.

For the most part, we do not expect the world to accept people who owns these things, and that is fine. To each their own. However, when it escalates to the point of a mob group who would either like to see harassment or bodily harm inflicted on a group of people this article pertains to, then that extremism.

And now they come forth to spam the comments on this article. Was to be expected.

geen October 18, 2008, 6:22 PM

lol! the doll owners are soooo defensive! have fun doing sick things with ur dolls! since you can’t get the real thing.

Caligasti October 18, 2008, 7:23 PM

Whatever, Jimmy-boy. It seems you don’t recall that it was “midiman” who came onto OUR forum, stuck his nose in, called US names, threatened US with lawsuits, and then demanded that we make fun of HIM. Then YOU got involved, did much the same kind of thing (and continue to do so), and you don’t even seem to realize that it was through YOUR own posts and websites that what information we have about you was discovered.

Keep on with your persecution complex, though. It’s very amusing. You almost seem to WANT concentration camps for doll-diddlers constructed.

packie October 18, 2008, 7:43 PM

I personally thought this article was interesting. However, while I admire these guys interviewed for their strength in being able to talk openly about such a subject, I also feel sorry for them. Not sorry for them in regards for what they have chosen, but for having to be subjected to the hateful and nasty comments some of you have left. Shame on you. Id expect such comments from children, but not from mature adults, but maybe the few of you in question fall quite short of that definition.

I can see the virtue of something like this, as was explained in a few of the comments. Just as long as some of these folks dont slip into a virtual world with these realdolls and lose all touch with reality. That would be tragic.

One thing that did bother me somewhat were those whom were said to have “spoke” through their realdoll. Why not just speak as yourself or use a fake name or something?

When all is said and done, If it makes them happy, and they are not hurting anyone else, seriously….whats the big deal? Like you all dont have a vibrator or a dildo or something equally as scandalous hiding in your night stand!

tina6723 October 18, 2008, 8:01 PM

I read the article and the comments. Interesting lifestyle to say the least. Going through the comments though, was more disturbing than the article. It really does seem that there are people so close minded that they need to resort to personal attacks. My suggestion to those is get a life.

I agree with packie. What is really the big deal? It may seem a bit wierd, but as long as nobody is getting hurt, and they are happy, I dont see a problem.

Deacon Blues October 18, 2008, 8:20 PM

Midiman is trying to build himself a business based on taking advantage of the doll owners. Anything he says should be taken with very small grains of salt. He is also suspected of abusing his daugthers. Pit_Viper is a known pedophile and internet tough-guy who has been retained by Midiman to help push the Midiman agenda. It is yet unknown if this retention is based on filthy lucre, the promise of such, or an exchange of favors.

That being said, men who “date” inanimate objects are broken humans, but mostly harmlessly so. That is, if you think men that like to have sex with representations of children as harmless.

Keep that in mind, parents!

Pit_Viper October 18, 2008, 8:39 PM

Packie - In reference to talking through their dolls and not use a handle,they did use handles. They just happen to also enjoy speaking “through” their dolls, but not in the litteral sence. The names of their dolls also are their internet nicknames when they work with sites that deal with this subject matter. Some people do, some don’t.

And for the majority of folks, they have not lost touch with Reality. For the most part, it’s a fun hobby for many (mainly photographic work believe it or not, not for sex)

And packie and tina6723, unfortunately with any sector of society, there will always be hate groups against them. Gays have hate groups against them, blacks have hate group against them, jewish people have hate groups against them, choose any religion has a hate group against them, list goes on. Not surprising to find that the doll owner sector of society also has one. It stems from ignorance and social engineering, that if enough people say something, it must be true, even if it’s a bold face lie. That’s what keeps hate groups alive.

Stay safe

Pit_Viper October 18, 2008, 9:26 PM

Not sure if the last comment made it or not.

Just to bring you up to speed on Deacon Blues. He’s yet another one of those people mentioned in the article. Decon, along with him chum Caligasti seem to have this cyberstalking campaign going on trying to find my identity, and searches far and wide to find every post, article, story, etc, I am involved with.

Deacon bases his “pedophile” accusation on a Youtube video shot two summers ago that shows me and my crackhead neighbor going through a verbal altercation. They were well known by police because the cops almost every night were there, and they called almost everyone in the neighborhood a “pedophile”. During the altercation, he yells “Why are you taping little children for?” when, in fact, there were no children in the area and I was taping his face so I could give the video to the cops as proof of their harassment to the neighborhood. Cops arrived, heard one say “Not this sh*t again”, saw the video and I gave them a copy of it for future use and they proceeded over to the neighbors house.

My neighbors were habitual drug users who has had many run ins with the child protective services and the police. Twice they lost their children because they were being neglected.

Now Deacon, in his non stop quest to gather as much “evidence” as he can find, found the video and called it “proof”. No other evidence to back the claims, just a video of two neighbors arguing.

Seeing that the contents of the video could be distorted and twisted totally out of context in the wrong hands, I temporarily restricted access to it.

Basically, your usual person who thinks it is weird for someone to own a doll would just post a comment, and be on with themselves. Not this group though. For literally months, they have this campaign going. They actually “go out of their way”, if you will.

it is one thing to call us weirdos. It’s another to form a hate group over it.

darleen October 18, 2008, 9:43 PM

So do you guys like, take these dolls out to differnt places?

Its so sad to see that some people are so hatefull. If they are not hurting anybody, let them have theyre dolls

tina6723 October 18, 2008, 9:59 PM

decon, those are pretty strong accusations to be making here. I believe this pit viper guy is making his points valid. Granted he has a doll, and yes I do think it’s a bit weird, but to call this person a pedophile and claim that sombody else abuses their kids is a bit harsh, and uncalled for unless you can show us proof to this.

Tim October 18, 2008, 10:28 PM

Wow, I don’t know what is more entertaining to read, the article, or the comments.

Regarding the article, it seemed to short and disjointed, especially for the type of subject introduced. It appears to me that in this particular lifestyle, more research is needed to create an more accurate and detailed article. Interviews with 4 people does not seem enough.

The comments, however, read like a comic book. One side, we have the doll owners, the other side, we have internet trolls who have this thing for doll owners. I wonder which side will come out on top? LOL

Personally, while I do not own a real doll myself, I would if I could afford one. I have heard so much about them.

Hope you all don’t think less of me for thinking about getting one. ;)

Dave Hockey October 18, 2008, 10:32 PM

Well, Folks, as I said in my first post…meet Caligasti…sometimes I call him Calghastly, the ‘Ringleader Goon’ that spends more time on doll sights than most of the comnmunity members. Also Sanity is another of the ‘evil’ horde that would use any excuse to use their ‘bully tactics’ to help boost their own self esteem. Special mention to Deacon Blues who has gone so far as to accuse David Hockey (my real name acquired from my production site) of being a pedophile and raping my daughters, having my first wife leave me to go out west with the kids to protect them from me. Truth to these people means absolutely nothing. I have a healthy relationship with both my daughters now in their 20’s and my exwife still comes to the family gatherings. They had absolutely nothing to substantiate their accusations. Also in the course of their attacks on another ‘challenged’ doll owner, they made it a point to poke fun at his physical deformities along with his doll fetish. Perhaps the most unfortunate thing about the internet as it can bring out the worst in some people allowing them to hide behind annonymous identites. These peopel would never say what they say if their identites were known. These are the same kind of people that attacked ‘women who posted a support website to deal with their miscarriages’ and posted ‘flashing animated gifs’ on the National Epilepsy site just because they could. They’ve made the news more than once. I must apologize as I did not want to railroad this thread, only insure it was an informed discussion. So I shall ignore any future ramblings of these social outcasts (not the doll owners,but the Goons) and elaborate on a few findings.

I admit, I do own the TeddyBabe Store (Canada), which I started within the context of the documentary series I am producing. The series is more based around social impact. More than 70% of Teddy Babe owners polled indicated that the primary reason for getting the Teddy Babe was cuddling, not sex. Many people just don’t like to sleep alone at night and a warm fuzzy companion in a humanoid form is just our childhood tedy bear brought into adult form. Check out some of the testimonials on the Teddy Babe sites and you will find some very logical statements from owners…perhaps a little sad as well in the case of an older man who had lost his wife of 25 years and just couldn’t sleep at night. In most cases the dolls have made owners’ lives happier. Profits from sales have gone into the giving of Teddy Babes to four people so far. One of these individuals, who suffered from depression and had given up on finding a matching partner, also owned a RealDoll. Through the course of his interview which included his new female human companion, they were both of the opinion that the dolls had helped him to ‘keep his heart open’.

One person here made mention to their concern of how some owners talk ‘through’ their dolls. If we look at this in context it is not as unhealthy as some may make it. Many people on forums adopted ficticious or fantasy characters and project through them. We also do this when we Role play in fantasy games as well as the most popular computer simulation to ever hit the industry - The Sims - where people create thier own alterego and live their life through the character. The more important observation would be ‘“what is the frame of mind of the individual who gave the interview via the doll?”, which was indeed the character portrayed in the forum. Was this person suffereing from a delusion or merely role playing. Does this person fucntion in the real world. It would appear that few of these questions have ever been addressed by those interviewing doll owners - perhaps owing to the sensatioanlization of the dolls. I have spent many hours conversing with Vanessa - one of the first encountered on the Doll Forum. She (he actually in reallife) suffers from no illusion. I won’t go into his personal story but only say he has had some traumatic moments in his life that have indeed effect his relationships. However, if he met the right woman (and she wouldn’t have to be a perfect 10 or not even an 8) he would likely enter into a loving relationship as would most ‘single’ doll owners. many ‘single’ doll owners are simply between relationships and the doll performs a surrogate role. From personal first hand experience, I found Bianca (my doll, one of the 4 form the Movie Lars and the Real Girl), to be almost therapudic in slowing me down. I work in a high energy creative environment and having to take time to brush the dolls hair and groom her, has proven to be a rather pleasant experience. I even found it both fun and informative experimenting with different wigs and clothes on the doll. I also can say for as much as I love the female of our species, I would not want to be … It is a lot of work :)

The adult doll market is a growing industry, for whatever the reason…even the medical industry is putting more weight in training parametics with these more realistic dolls as they more closely resemble a real human thereby having a greater psychological impact in the exercises.

So in closing, I will say, feel free to stop by the, or if you have any further questions as this is where you can talk to owners and admirers first hand. I hope most of you have a doctrine of live and let live, as the world surely needs more tolerance and less wars and descrimination.

I can’t help myself from making one final comment to the Goons that posted here. You will need more than just shallow ranting to win the support of the intelligent people here. These peopel, unlike yourselves, reflect more of the social norm in our society! They do not endorse violence and descrimination as you do. You need solid arguments that contain facts and substance to influence these people - something that in almost 100 pages of ‘Doll’ ranting on your appropriately named Something Awful website - you have failed to present!

Dave Hockey aka Midiman

Dave Hockey October 18, 2008, 11:11 PM

A couple more comments on Deacon Blues remarks. He calls anyone he doesn’t like a pedophile. He is the most hurtful, hateful and slanderous of the Goons. Deacon, be a good boy will you and present some of your evidence here - anything that would even remotely lead these people to suspect that I might have abused my daughters. Deacon, if it were possible to sue you for slander and damages I would do so, however the Internet, is a lawless frontier that it needs laws of accountability to protect people like me from people like you and to give recourse. The Internet needs laws that prevent cowards like you from hiding behind anonymity while using malice on tohers to elveate your own low self esteem.

Cheers to all the good citizens in our socity who would frown upon malicious bahavior and bullying.

Pit_Viper October 18, 2008, 11:38 PM

David - “A couple more comments on Deacon Blues remarks. He calls anyone he doesn’t like a pedophile. “

Maybe he was the crackhead neighbor I videoed and posted on Youtube? Explains a lot.

The unfortunate part of this type of behavior is that it will ultimately bring what you say, restrictions and regulations on the Internet.

It is indeed the unfortunate part of a group that cannot keep their diapers dry long enough when they sit in front of their keyboards, to screw it up for everyone else.

Darleen - I have yet to take Lisa and Lolly out and about, but many owners do. Mainly for photoshoots though. It’s a big process to to move these type of dolls from point A to point B.

tina6723 - I see you think it is “weird” that I own one, but that is OK, not everyone has the same mindset. The fact that you “called out” one of them to provide proof of one of the many accusations of a doll owner was a great thing to see. Thanks! :)

flowers12 October 19, 2008, 12:38 AM

great article! But sad to see the results in the comments.

As a mom, I would not have any problem if my son brought home one of those dolls. I would have no choice, he’s a Marine.

I would be more worried if I walked into my sons room and found drugs then if I walked in and found a blow up doll laying there on his bed. I found stranger stuff in his room in the past

Perfectly Normal October 19, 2008, 4:41 AM

I don’t find the article the least bit strange. I don’t find it unhealthy or abnormal for men or women to own sexdolls. To me, owning a rubber sexdoll is just as acceptable as a woman owning a plastic vibrator. Exactly the same thing. I see no difference whatsoever.

I do find the hateful replies to be VERY bizarre and abnormal and deranged. Clearly there is something very warped and perverted and insane about a person who feels so much animosty towards owners of sextoys. The hateful people are the really creepy weirdos.

R . Jimenez October 19, 2008, 6:24 AM

I think that you and your delights ,are, is somewhat differt to some ,and that cool and I like it too,but some thig is’t righ to me.At this time line.

SAlacious October 19, 2008, 7:15 AM

What these doll owners don’t want anyone outside their clique to see is the depth of their obsession. They disconnect from reality to the degree that they have conversations with their dolls, create webpages & post as their dolls, punish the dolls if they don’t get fully satisfied, and brag about how sexy the dolls are in their child-size XS panties.

There is one doll owner who posts proudly about neglecting his real, live, physically handicapped girlfriend in order to spend time with his “wife” - a chunk of silicone in a wig. He actually complained about not being able to put more dolls in his bed, because his “realgirl” wanted to sleep there!

Sure, there may be a few people who just use the dolls to cuddle with, or get their rocks off and put it back in the closet, but to many of them, the doll is a surrogate female that they can control completely. The implications are more than a little disturbing to anyone who digs a little deeper.

tdcwhiteknight October 19, 2008, 7:59 AM

I am a male doll owner.

I became aware of this discussion because I know Pit Viper, Friend, Alex, playtime, noquiexis, and Mr. Hockey from one of the doll forums. I have also been following the threads on SomethingAwful and can only characterize Caligasti and Deacon Blues as fact-distorting cyberbullies.

Prior to the posting of this article I had never heard of momlogic, but I perceive (so far) that it is a web site for mothers to learn about and discuss various topics. I am a parent and I appreciate the value of sharing information about “all sorts of stuff” that might be useful for parenting.

That said, I expect the “moms’” interest in this topic relates to how they can or should react to their sons’ (or daughters’) interest in sex dolls. I’m not going to go there, but instead will bring up one reason “older” men like me turn to dolls so the moms using this site might get a little perspective.

Some men are loving and loyal but have a threshold. This is a threshold of how many times, at what age, or for what proportion of their material and financial assets they can commit to a relationship that ultimately fails. I don’t want to argue about whose “fault” the failure is. But if the man feels that he has reached a point in his life where he can not “roll the dice” again to try to establish a relationship with a life partner he might just turn to a doll to simply enhance the experience of masturbation. Moms using this site may want to take this possibility into account when “judging” doll owners.

I’ve observed that the different groups in this discussion have very different takes on this point. The doll owners, who are a diverse group, simply “get it”. The SomethingAwful crowd, who may only be in it for the fun of bullying, react with ridicule. From the comments so far, it sounds to me like at least some of the moms have enough insight into how a “mature” man might react to his accumulated life experiences that, while they may approve, they can understand.

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