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Mom of Daughter Doesn't Have Penis Envy

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Momlogic's Andrea: I'm glad I have a daughter -- penises kind of creep me out.

I always wanted a boy. ­When I found out I was having a girl I must admit I was disappointed. But now I couldn't be happier. One reason for my delight: My daughter, thankfully, does not have a penis -- if she did this would be a quite different post. From what I understand from my friends who have boys, a penis is more difficult to deal with than girl "parts."

First of all, you have to decide within weeks of a boy's birth whether to chop part of it off. Yikes. Then during daily diaper changes, you are unexpectedly doused with urine. Ick. Then when you finally get to potty training, you have to teach them to "aim" so your bathroom won't end up smelling like a public restroom. Pee-Yew!

Nope, I'm not a big fan of the penis. I like them in theory but otherwise they seem, well, complicated. I know how to work a vagina -- I've had one for years 35 years to be exact. So taking care of my daughter's "wazoo" -- as my husband calls it -- is easy. If I had a boy, I wouldn't know what the heck is going on down there.

Yet, moms with boys often talk about how adorable their sons' "pee-pees" are --­ to the point of making me a tad uncomfortable. Should I be envious instead?

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7 comments so far | Post a comment now
ashley October 12, 2008, 9:45 AM

Ok so I have both. A 6 year old boy and a 16 month old girl. Actually it is a lot harder to clean poo out of her area than it was his. But yeah you don’t get sprayed by girls. My son has always had good aim when it comes to the toilet (better than his dad). But now he thinks it’s funny to run through the house and play with it saying it’s his guitar. And lately every morning at the breakfast table he tells me he has morning wood. So at least you won’t have to hear all that.

MaryEllen October 12, 2008, 11:31 AM

I have a son and daughter ages 17 and 16. When they were little it was so much easier to deal with my daughter. I suppose that was because of many of the same reasons you listed in your blog. However, all bets were off when she become a tween and a teenager. First periods, PMS, the fear or pregnancy….I suppose everyting evens out and comes full circle in the end.

Anonymous October 12, 2008, 7:07 PM

Ashley, thank you for your post that was the most hilarious comment I have read to date, I laughed out loud so hard!!

Kris October 12, 2008, 10:08 PM

I understand your sentiment but I have for boys…the sheer thought of having a child with a vagina freaks me out! I know I have one of my own but eeekkkk I can’t imagine. Hehe.

Me! October 12, 2008, 10:37 PM

Momlogic where did you find that crazy happy penis : )

foxymama October 13, 2008, 2:30 PM

I wanted boys too - had two girls, then a little boy. I realize what is wrong with men - their mothers (and sisters). All we do is tell that little guy how perfect he is (his penis too).

jeremy April 20, 2010, 4:54 PM

“First of all, you have to decide within weeks of a boy’s birth whether to chop part of it off.

Why are you Americans obsessed with genital mutilation?
You DO NOT have to decide whether or not to damage your son, you just don’t do it!

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