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When Your Husband is a Thief

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Guest blogger mom-on-the-edge: So, I had this sinking feeling in my stomach and it wasn't the flu.  Call it women's intuition, call it ESP, call it what you will.  I knew something was up.

wife crying and husband holding money

During our last argument my husband said, "You're not my family, I have a son!"  That hurt.  He also said, "I'm gonna f you up."  "Do I need to get a restraining order?"  I asked.  "No, in court.  I have a plan.  You'll see..."  I told him again that I wanted a divorce, but he came home that night anyway and acted as if nothing happened.

I didn't know what his plan was, but I knew I had to look into our joint checking account.

There in the overflowing basket o' mail were my bank statements.  Three of 'em.  Chasing around a 14-month-old didn't leave much time to sift through it often but I always made sure to pay the pending bills and promised I'd get to the rest later.  Later had to be now. 

I opened up August's statement and scanned down the ATM withdrawals.  $80, $100, $80, $200...  He had been taking out money nearly every day.  And, large sums too.  Then I noticed something else.  Online transfers into an account I didn't recognize.  $200, $150, $1,000.  I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Hi."  I said to the customer service lady at the bank while my son flashed a big smile the way only a baby can flirt.  "Can you tell me what this is?  Is this my husband's account?"  I was afraid she was gonna say that she can't share that information.  "Yes, your husband has been transferring money from your joint account into his own savings account.  He didn't tell you he moved the money?"  "No."  My voice cracked, I could feel the tears coming.  She gave me  a look like "tsk. tsk.  You married an asshole..."

After I added everything up he had taken out nearly $3,000.  I had taken out $520.  We barely had enough left to pay our rent, the phone, our credit card...  And, now I knew why.

While my husband sleeps soundly in bed, I'm wide awake, unsure if I should confront him or consult an attorney first.  I don't know what to do.  But -- you can bet your bottom dollar -- something's gonna happen.

next: Celebs: Stop Lying!
8 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous October 13, 2008, 10:11 AM

He is poison. Get away from him ASAP.

smarternow October 13, 2008, 1:08 PM

Divorce him. I ignored it thinking he’d change and he ended up taking almost 250K from me… leaving me and the kids struggling month to month and him living a new life with no cares, no worries and no mortgage to worry about… if he is doing this - ask yourself - if you cared about someone - would you do it to them?

Anonymous October 13, 2008, 3:26 PM

He basically told you where you rate with him - take the hint and get the hell out of there while you can still afford to.

Consult an atty and get him off of your checking account or do something that can prevent him from continuing to take $ from your joint account.

In the scheme of things you have ONE life - make the best of it that you can by cutting your losses with this D/H. Clearly you’re not #1 on his list.

Anonymous October 14, 2008, 1:46 PM

I’ve been reading your blogs from the beginning and really feel for you. Any you know what, this guy had sooo many chances to prove himself worthy of the love you’ve shown him. So far, he’s done nothing and has been a TOTAL jerk to you. Please, leave this man, consult an atty, and protect yourself ASAP.

MomofTwins October 14, 2008, 5:09 PM

Why can’t you transfer the money back to the other account? Better yet, withdraw everything but leave $520 in his own account, tell him to live off that.

Get an attorney & don’t look back. I’m gonna f you up? Not something a person that even remotely likes you would say.

Maggie October 30, 2008, 1:04 AM

So, I’m sorta worried about our mom blogger. I read this, then nothing the week of 10/20. Was she okay? Did I miss a week?

Deb October 3, 2009, 4:57 PM

Get an attorney immediately. He can get most of it back for you.

Golf Clubs September 21, 2010, 12:40 AM

In corresponding information, Mr. Tiger Woods modified his identify to Cheetah.

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