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My Guy Farts In Public

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Guest blogger Childlessandlovinit: I don't do anything gross in front of my guy -- but he may have just changed all that.

man farting

I am not into picking my nose, going to the bathroom or farting in front of my guy -- in fact, I think it kills the romance. It may sound kind of old school, but I'm afraid that if I start doing that business, he'll start to look at me like one of his buddies, not his lover. Now I realize, this is a completely different deal for a guy -- they burp, fart, floss, pick their zits, everything in front of us. Eew.

It gets worse.

The other day, while my bf and I were out running errands, my guy went to pick something up and loudly farted. To be honest, I am not THAT suprised by this -- but what I AM surprised by was that he wasn't at all embarrassed. It was more like he was PROUD. He mischievously smiled and carried on shopping. In fact, at dinner later on that night he said "Babe, tell everyone about what happened at LensCrafters." I then went into detail about the fart incident, and as I got closer to the punchline, he was simply beaming. Even more surprising was that everyone at the table, particularly his guy friends, laughed as if it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard. Gross.

Later on, as I was getting ready for bed (with the bathroom door CLOSED while I was taking my makeup off and doing my pre-bed duties) I thought: Why should I act like a lady if he acts like he was raised in a barn? You know what? The next time we're out in public I may just let one go -- and see how HE reacts! Chances are, he will be mortified and in shock. Maybe he'll even think twice about his grossness in front of me too. Stay tuned ...

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15 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous October 8, 2008, 10:10 AM

Go for it; fart right at him.

jackie October 8, 2008, 11:18 AM

omg that is too funny and sooo true! my guy does it too and thinks nothing of it. hilarious.

cara October 8, 2008, 11:26 AM

I dated a french guy once who would do that. Believe it or not, I always try to be he most polite, thus I never said anything, but he did it once in front of a friend of mine and her reaction was priceless.

I do think it’s uncouth though to toot in public.

lisa October 8, 2008, 12:07 PM

omg i’m laughing so hard because it’s true-they”ll never grow up!

Bree October 8, 2008, 12:29 PM

I totally agree it’s a double standard—it’s like, why can they do it and think it’s funny while we have to hold ours in (pun intended!) Well, i guess we don’t have to, but there are so many things they get away with that we do’s kind of bs…
ok ladies—how about we all let our hair grow out and we burb and floss in front of our guys?

Heather October 8, 2008, 3:26 PM

My husband and I have no qualms about doing anything in front of each other. I burp, use the bathroom with the door open…often times with him in the room if need be, and anything else our bodies feel they need to do. As an ex told me, most men actually find it attractive, he and my husband are among that category. As it’s been explained to me, a women who is that comfortable with who she is and with them, is attractive. Grant it, some men prefer the barbie version…perfect. What it really comes down to is how the people involved feel.

lisa October 8, 2008, 4:40 PM

has nothing to do with BARBIE—or how someone feels about themselves, that is so judgmental. I totally understand that after a while that would take away the sexiness. Going to the bathroom in front of your husband is one thing, farthing and picking your nose and acting like a guy is another. Some people are just more reserved—has nothing to do with how comfortable they feel with themselves or their partner. But I highly highly doubt, that men find this behavior “attractive”..seriously..

Al October 8, 2008, 11:22 PM

This lady doesn’t know much about men, and our bodily functions. Men fart, plain and simple. It’s a normal bodily function. The average person lets it go about 18 times a day.

It’s not a matter if it’s attractive or not, it’s women trying to remake men into women. Give me a break!

Lourdes October 9, 2008, 12:15 PM

Farting is Natural. Taking a dump is natural. EVERYONE has to release.. And its never a good idea to hold it in. It is actually very bad and can cause you to end up in the hospital. There isn’t always a restroom around to run to! So whether we like it or not, you have to do what you gota do! The odor may be groce well too bad.

Charles Orlando October 9, 2008, 5:10 PM

OF COURSE it’s normal. OF COURSE it’s what our body does… but why is it acceptable to be disgusting? Aren’t we past the point of primal, animalistic behaviors? Isn’t this a “civilization” where there is basic civility and mutual respect?

Thousands of years ago, it was acceptable to bonk your soon-to-be-mate on the head and drag her back to your cave… without trying to sound elitist, I’d like to think I’ve Evolved past that point…

Lindsey October 24, 2008, 3:10 AM

I think it’s hilarious when a man cranks a huge one, but I would find it completely disgusting if a woman did. Is that a double standard? Yes. But here’s a news flash: Men and women are different. Period. The standards of behavior are different. Period.

Anonymous October 1, 2009, 9:05 PM

As long as it’s not stinky it’s cool.

Sure, ok October 1, 2009, 9:08 PM

Isn’t there something more important to blog about? Health care or something? I can’t understand your logic here. I mean. Sure, it is a little immature to fart in public and laugh, but come on. It is natural to fart. Laughter is good for you, holding in gas is bad. It causes pain in your abdomen that could disguise other symptoms. Many women feel pain like indigestion or gas when they have a heart attack. It could mislead doctors in diagnosing many diseases such as Colorectal Cancer (which is the third leading cause of death in the US).
So for the sake of maintaining you appearance to strangers (who likely could care less about you) or your boyfriend (who shouldn’t judge you on something so small) you are going to put yourself through discomfort or even pain that could put you at risk?
Sounds stupid to me. But hey, I am just a pre-med student.

Your mom LOL October 1, 2009, 9:24 PM

Protip: Your guy won’t care at all. In fact, he’ll be proud of you. Expect a backfire, and no pun intended.

Nic Stage October 1, 2009, 10:03 PM

Good luck in your quest for a mate with an amount of shame for their body that is acceptable to you…

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