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My Mother-in-Law Is WAY Worse Than Yours

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Guest blogger Mom de Plume: Does my mother-in-law win the "suckiest" award?

I'm freshly married, so the whole "mother-in-law from hell" thing is new to me. I used to think it was just a cliche perpetuated by sitcoms like "Everybody Loves Raymond."  I was wrong. They're real. And they suck.

Last week my mother-in-law came to stay with us for eight days. Eight. Long. Days.

The first night, I made dinner -- which mind you is a feat, considering by the end of the work day I'm usually so exhausted I just microwave something for my daughter while simultaneously eating a bowl of cereal over the sink. But I so wanted to make a good impression. I ended up making chicken and broccoli mixed with rice.

At dinner I could tell my MIL wasn't happy. She picked at her food as if I had served her a plate of live snails. It was tense. Suddenly, my daughter happily asked:

"Grammy, do you like dinner?

Oh no! Now 'grammy' is going to have to lie to my face. I cringed, waiting for the fake praise. It didn't come.

"No," my MIL  said directly to my wide-eyed two-year-old. "I don't like rice."

Are you kidding me?!  Did she think I couldn't hear her? I was sitting right there! Can you say "triangulation?" I knew she had passive-aggressive tendencies but this was really too much. (And for the record: Who doesn't like rice?!?)

Still not convinced she's the worst? Here's a bonus example:

At one point during the week she came up to me, held both my hands and tenderly said:

"I am SO glad you and my son got together because he's a terrible housekeeper too."

Two questions:
1) How am I supposed to react to this woman?
2) Am I living in a bad sitcom or are all MILs like this?

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23 comments so far | Post a comment now
Janettee November 5, 2008, 2:44 AM

My MIL started out rude and mean, then turned nice, then gradually got worse and worse…

THE FIRST DAY I met her, about the third day I was dating my hubby… She actually asked me about having children, about the fact that I gave my son up for adoption and what if we got pregnant, what would happen, etc.

I moved in with them b/c at the time I had lost my job and apartment and was about to be in a shelter.

During the nearly 2 years that I lived with them… She cussed at me, said bad things about me (mostly a/b me not growing up with my family, and about my son), told me to “get over” my depression, that I didn’t need counseling or medication, that I needed to quit being lazy (because I didn’t want to clean up after her and her husband and the teenager they had living there who hated me, just because I was living in her house)… If I cleaned the house (and sometimes I did, just because it got TOO messy or disgusting to live in), she would immediately move things back where they came from, and yell at me for moving them to begin with! I was not allowed freedom of any kind while living with her. I wasn’t even allowed to choose whether or not I could drink, even though I moved in when I was 24! For about 1 1/2 years, she insisted that my hubby and I could not have sex (but we shared a bed… hmmm how stupid can you be?) When we talked about moving out, she would tell us we need to wait because of financial issues… We’d wait and then she’d complain about how she’d been trying to get rid of her kids for years and she had promised her hubby but didn’t do it… She was always late on bills… Several times the water, gas, or electric would go off in the middle of the day or night… The cable and internet, cell phones, and house phones would also randomly go out. After we bought our house, she got upset because we asked for help that she had been promising if we would just move out. She also got mad because we had loaned her about $300 in less than 30 days, because she kept buying things and then her bills would be automatically deducted but the money wouldn’t be there so we would transfer money so she wouldn’t get fines from the bank. Well, this month (meaning on the FIRST of this month, and it’s now…the 5th), we realized we weren’t going to have enough money to pay our mortgage, since our kitten had to go to the vet and we didn’t plan for it. This, also, is less than 30 days after we gave her over $300, remember… Well I happened to notice that her account balance (because it’s displayed on our account since we transfer money) was only like $91… But she got paid the same day I did… And she makes like $1500 a month or something! So I looked at her purchases and there is a bunch of dumb stuff, like… Lifelock (waste of money, in my opinion), movies, some Triple Advantage crap (probably a credit checking thing), Netflix, Hoodiastar… You get the point, right? Well anyhow so I go over there and tell her that we aren’t sure we can make our mortgage, and I say “I know you haven’t got much, but…” and then she cuts me off and says she needs all her money. Well I was only going to ask for like $50, and was going to offer to give it back to her the next check we got afterwards! So anyhow dunno what’s going to happen now… We have $27 in our account, our renter, who is paying $455 of our mortgage, had his paycheck held by his bank… My hubby doesn’t get paid until Friday… My MIL has $100 in HER account, that will probably be wasted on junk… Oh and did I mention that the mortgage was due by the first? Oh and my hubby’s car payment was due, as well… We went ahead and paid that but since it was late they made us pay next month’s payment this month, as well… So that was even MORE money we didn’t plan for! Then of course I’m driving farther for my job now, to the next town… And my first check isn’t until the 14th:( So this month is going to be REALLY fun:(

Barbara March 16, 2009, 9:59 PM

I think MIL are here just to make our lives miserable!!!!!!!!!!!! When I was 6 months pregnant, my MIL called my sister and told her that she needed to convince me to breast feed my baby. My sister is a nurse and told her that is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong choice. She calls the house at least 6 times a day. She rudely interrupts by stopping by when we are eating dinner.

I feel your pain!!!!!!!!!!!!(pain in the a— MIA)

friendlyspirit July 14, 2009, 6:20 PM

Of course, all MIL’s are just like this. We receive an instruction manual when our kid gets engaged and we follow it to the tee, those of us who are not made in a factory somewhere. We are not human. We’ve never been a DIL and we are indeed placed on earth to make life miserable for our child’s spouse and family. In doing that, we all hope to break up their families, making the children we love miserable, alienating ourselves so that we can spend our aging years hated and alone.

I’m not even kidding.

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