Orgasms are Overrated

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Mom with a Mouth: Don't get me wrong, I love a good romp. And if I had the time and energy to do "it" all day, I would. Well, maybe not all day ...

Look, I love sex. I really do. And I most certainly look forward to having an orgasm when I do have sex. But let's be honest, it doesn't always happen. It didn't always happen before I had a baby, and it most certainly does not always happen now. It has nothing to do with my partner. And it's not that it's mentally or physically impossible for me to have one. It's just that it's unrealistic and, frankly, overrated!

woman watching tv

It seems like in every "go woman, hear me roar," type magazine or website, you always here women complaining or worrying that they don't have orgasms... that the "Big O" is what we should strive for and if we're not having one, something is terribly amiss. You hear about women that are faking it, and women that are having more multiples than "Jon and Kate Plus 8" (or nine now). Well, you know what: Good for them, and good for you if you fall into this category. But I happen to think all this "have an orgasm now" stuff is a lot of pressure ... not only on me, but on my husband. If the focus is always on the ending, the joy can sometimes get zapped out of act itself. There is even a Chinese proverb that says "The journey is the reward." (See, Sarah Palin, sex is so poetic!)

The point is, as a mom, there isn't a lot of time in the day, so I am grateful for the little things that give me pleasure. They are like my very own "Momgasms ..." My baby taking his first steps, a whole night without having to reinsert a pacifier into said baby's mouth 15 times, no lines at Target, my old skinny jeans buttoning seamlessly ... these things make me happy and in truth, add to my excitement and joy when I do actually finally sit down, (lay down, or roll over) to have sex.

So tonight, if my "big O" means an hour on the couch (alone) watching an entire episode of Oprah, don't judge me. Because in my world, that is what I call "mind blowing...".

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